Newly Pregnant and scared

[ED81]

Hi all,
So today I found out I’m 4 weeks pregnant. I’m 39 years old and have been trying to be pregnant for about 7 months or so. This is my first pregnancy. My husband and I have always been a bit ambivalent about having a baby but then I thought last year it was now or never so came off my pill. Have used ovulation trackers and clear blue ovulation sticks so actively wanted to be pregnant....it seemed.

Now it’s here, I’m petrified. Now I’m thinking I’ve made a big mistake. My life is so nice and I’m so worried I’ll ruin it by bringing a baby into the mix. How the hell will we cope with sleepless nights, childcare etc. What about going on holidays and saving for retirement?! I’m worried it will put a strain on my marriage and what if the baby is unwell in the womb?! I’m so scared about chromosomal issues. The list is endless.

So rather than be overjoyed today, I’ve been anxious and a bit sad with the odd fleeting feeling of happiness.

Is this a normal reaction?! I realise I’m so fortunate to be pregnant and there is still a long way to go but any advice would be highly appreciated.
Thanks xx

This is a perfectly normal reaction. Having a baby is a massive life change and it's normal to be worried about it.
I remember thinking we'd made a mistake when I was pregnant with our youngest and that was after a baby, 2 years of trying and 3 miscarriages but I found that trying to remember that lots of people have done it before me and I will manage, and I was right.
I have my 2 boys now and I cant remember life without them.
Try to relax op. Congratulations on your pregnancy

This is an absolutely normal reaction. I think we all go through a panic at some stage or another.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. x

It's ok to feel this way. Give yourself time to get used to it.

Thank you. Yes, it obviously is so brand new that I need time to adjust.
I feel terrible for not being overjoyed like I though I would be. But my hormones will be doing weird and wonderful things so will just calm the hell down and relax.

I found out I was pregnant at 39 last Jan and I felt the same way as you do now. All I can say is that I now have a beautiful 4 month old and I am the happiest I've ever been ❤️ Congratulations! I know it's hard but please just try to relax now and enjoy your pregnancy x

I feel the same . I already have a 2 year old . This pregnancy is also planned but I can't help but think how will I cope . My 2 year year old has been waking 3/4 am for the day the last few nights I am so tired .

This is so normal. It takes a while to get used to the idea and even then you'll go through ups and downs. Try not to focus on the negative 'what ifs' and focus on taking good care of yourself and pampering yourself a bit!

Thanks ladies.
There is actually a post with this theme on Mumsnet already. It is from 2010 but also so helpful.

It does seem like a normal response. Just one I've never heard of before. It's all happy smiles and celebrations. I'm so glad there is others who feel the same way as me. And it's natural. A baby is a big undertaking so being unsure is ok.

We all need to go easy on ourselves.

Bijouou,
That' is difficult. Sleep deprivation is the worst. It makes everything seem so much more unmanageable.
There is still a chunk of time before baby no 2 arrives so hope baby no 1 gets into a more positive sleep pattern. Also baby no 2 might sleep like a dream!
I will keep everything crossed for you. And that you have a partner, family, friends that can offer you support.xx

Thank you @ED81 . Sorry realised my post this morning wasn't very reassuring as you are about to be a parent . I must say my little one has reliably slept well from around aged 10 months a decent stretch 7-6 or 7-7. Every so often say once a month or fortnight we just get these random 4 am wakings but I am lucky it's not every night . I think it's particularly difficult at the moment as I have all the new pregnancy hormones , with my first one I was out buying clothes etc so early on but this pregnancy feels too good to me true ( due to conception) and I feel a little anxiety, I am hoping I will feel reassured at the scan It is very rewarding and he has changed my life for the absolute best , it is the best job in the world ( or I wouldn't be doing it again) I work part time , my other half is great and always takes over when he gets home from work and gets up fair share of the mornings too. All the best in your motherhood journey xxx

@ED81 thank you for your lovely words xx

I got this feeling once the baby had arrived! I felt (in my sleep deprived fat state) that I had ruined my life forever, I was very down. However it turns out it gets easier fairly quickly. I got my restful nights back, our evenings, I saw friends with her and without her, I took up a new hobby, we took her on exciting holidays and days out like I enjoyed before. Once the 30 hours free childcare kicked in we started saving money again. I'm having my second now and I know each hard stage ends.

@AegonT. Thank you.

I'm not sure why my mind is where it is at. I'd even had the termination word swirling around in my head. My goodness. How terrible.

Never in a million years would I think this would be an issue.