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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Who and when do you tell you're in labor?

49 replies

SunnySideUp2020 · 13/02/2021 14:43

Wondering if you told anyone or are planning to tell anyone when and what regarding labour?

Or you just say baby is here when baby is born and everything is settled?

🤔🤔🤔

OP posts:

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Equimum · 13/02/2021 17:13

With my first, we didn’t actually anyone, but my brother knew because he was staying over the night the contractions started (was helping us doctorate our new home). He wished me luck, made a rapid exit and just sent a text twelve hours later to say that he loved me, knew I would be an amazing mum and that he was thinking about me. My mum was furious when she found out he had known, especially as he had spoken to her and not mentioned it. (Given that i was in labour for 38 hours, she definitely didn’t need to know!).

With DS2, my mum had come to stay as I was due to be induced the following morning and she was going to watch DS1. I hid upstairs until we were ready to go to hospital and DS was born five hours later. I think she would have liked to have made a big drama by calling everyone to tell them, but it all happened overnight, so baby was here before she could do so.

Now expecting DC3. I am hoping that my best friend will have the boys if things happen naturally, so nobody else, apart from my children and her family will need to know. Much easier and more relaxed for me that way.

bananamonkey · 13/02/2021 17:19

First time I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t like the “pressure” of people knowing and constantly messaging DH in case it went on for ages. Luckily most of it was overnight so was a nice surprise in the morning for everyone.

Second time was induced so quite a few people knew, especially as I was bored out of my mind for most of it but no-none hassled for updates.

KHR1 · 13/02/2021 17:24

I was induced so they kind of knew it was coming. My DH ended up telling my mum as we needed her to feed our pets as my waters broke just before he was due to go home.
I also happened to be texting two of my close friends as it happened so they found out - I found it quite a nice distraction continuing to talk to them while I was in labour for as long as I could. They didn't mention it past the first couple of messages and just talked as normal until baby was born.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 13/02/2021 17:28

We were staying with my mum, and though it was 1am, she was still awake, so I had to tell her on my way out the door to hospital.

Bless her, she stayed up and cleaned up, so it was all sorted when we came back next day.

Usplusone · 13/02/2021 18:06

First time we told all close family once in active labour. Wish we hadn't as DH was bombarded by messages from my mum asking all sorts of questions, and my dad was just worrying about me all day.
This time round I wish we didn't have to tell anyone but most likely will be relying on MIL for childcare. Unless the baby come during nursery hours, which would be ideal really!

ReindeersAhoy · 13/02/2021 18:38

My DH told everyone the first time round which was not my choice but he was excited and I couldn't stop him. Labour lasted much longer than it should have and started getting lots of messages about what was happening and how were we getting on. When there was no responses, we had lots of worried friends and family.
We only told mum the second time as she was looking after DD1.
I would suggest only telling those that need to know.

MeadowHay · 13/02/2021 20:12

I was v clear with DH that I didn't want to tell anyone as I knew our respective well meaning families would fuss and it would be stressful for me. We started calling relatives after baby was born and we had eaten and I'd showered and breastfed etc. My parents and DB were unhappy and my DF was fuming tbh he argued with me on the phone when I called to tell them and again on the postnatal ward later that day despite me asking him exactly what use he would have been if he knew which he obviously couldn't answer. So I definitely made the right decision!

I'm now pregnant with no.2 and unfortunately we will probably need childcare for DD so will have to tell my parents who will likely be providing it and DB lives with them. I am dreading this but at least with covid there will probably be restrictions in place to stop anything silly. We didn't check or use our phones the whole time last time and I intend to do the same this time regardless of them fussing or not. For me my labour and birth is one of the few things in life that is totally about me tbh and I don't owe anyone updates when I struggled so much last time.

Dollywilde · 13/02/2021 20:18

With us:

Thursday 3pm - due date - went for my 40 week appt, had a sweep
Friday 9pm - early niggles - didn’t tell anyone
Saturday evening - thought it was ramping up, didn’t tell anyone
Sunday evening - went in, 3cm, didn’t text anyone as it was midnight. DH dropped me off then went home for some sleep
4am Monday - DH came in as my waters went. I was 5cm
8am Monday - DH text DM & DF, DSis and DMil to let them know I was in and 6cm at that point
8am - 11pm Monday - I assume he kept them updated, I was off my tits on the drugs tbh 😂
11pm Monday - DD born
Midnight Tuesday - DH texts all the above to announce safe arrival after skin to skin and clean up. I then have a bonkers drug-based emotional call with my mum she says it was very sweet!

33goingon64 · 13/02/2021 21:47

First time: no-one. Second time: parents were staying with us to be on hand to look after DS so they knew. But no-one had a phone call until DS 2 was a few hours old.

AegonT · 13/02/2021 21:47

Just whoever is looking after my daughter (her old childminder or my best friend). When I had her we told nobody till a few hours after she was born.

Teakind · 13/02/2021 21:55

The first time I only wanted my parents and in laws to know. I think I went in to some sort of shock though as I randomly text my NCT group to tell them I was in labour and then didn’t check my phone for the next 14 hours : ) no idea at all why I did that!

Second time I had a very long induction so my closest friends knew too as I was texting them a lot whilst waiting for something to happen.

Lilice · 13/02/2021 23:00

I've always told my parents right from the beginning, who tell the rest of the family. And then text my friends with a picture of the baby, and send more pictures to the family. My husband would do the same with his side of the family.

Original poster

SunnySideUp2020 · 14/02/2021 04:47

Thanks for all the replies.

DH says he doesn't want to tell anyone until baby is here.
I would be inclined to do the same as i am not a "phone person" and hate having to answer whenever there is a text or call if i am busy/need to be focused. So my phone will prob be off...
But then again, i know my mum and brother would probably be mad if i didn't tell them...
Not that they can do anything but because we don't live on the same continent/country i think they rely a lot on a text or short call to know what's up.

So i am in two minds really ...
Or i guess i can say when going to hospital ans confirmed to be in active labor and then that DH will update when/if anything major happens... could be a good compromise.

OP posts:

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 14/02/2021 05:17

Told my mum sister and MIL the date I was booked for induction. Told no one other than DH was in labour so he was prepared to come to hospital. (Covid restrictions) then FaceTimed my sister and mum with nee born on my chest

PieandMash321 · 14/02/2021 06:44

If you can I wouldn’t tell anyone until the baby arrives. When we had our first child we were staying with my in laws as the house we’d bought hadn’t quite completed so they knew I’d gone to have the baby. We didn’t contact them at all throughout labour, I didn’t want what was going on sharing and I didn’t want my husband glued to his phone (you also had to walk outside the building to get phone signal anyway, so he didn’t get their messages either - not a bad thing!). Their expectations were very different to what we had in mind, I think they expected a running commentary, they were actually mad about the situation and told us we’d caused them severe distress!

When we had our second child we moved the due date by a month (further back) so they were totally clueless I was even close to giving birth, the baby also arrived 1 week early so way before they were anticipating. They were actually out the country on holiday. We just messaged them the baby had arrived with a picture, no fuss, no drama. We had to tell my parents with the second (they were babysitting) but my parents did the same thing with their family’s when they had me and my siblings they only announced the arrival, so they never expected any communication from us other than to say the baby had arrived!

So I’d tell as few people as possible if you want to avoid the running commentary situation and people expecting updates!

Yellowtopaz · 14/02/2021 06:48

Nobody! I didn’t want any pressure for updates or them worrying.

lucyrp · 14/02/2021 06:55

Absolutely nobody until the baby is here. Can't be dealing with the constant "have you had the baby yet?"

BikeRunSki · 14/02/2021 06:59

@Mummyof2Terrors

Nobody. You don't need the pressure during labour to give updates. Phone call to reveal once baby is here is lovely. With subsequent children only person who needs to know is the person looking after your other child/children

If agree with this completely.

Caspianberg · 14/02/2021 06:59

Didn’t tell anyone. Went in around midnight due to reduced movements so that was later anyway. Then labour started mid morning and he was born by mid afternoon so just called them around 5pm to show new baby

meow1989 · 14/02/2021 07:09

I seem to be the opposite to most people here. Initially I wasn't going to tell anyone but in early labour the first person I called because of the pain was my mum!

Dh set up a WhatsApp group with both 9ur parents plus my sister and instructed that he would update that with progress.

Everyone was very well behaved!

Lostinspace23 · 14/02/2021 07:18

I didn’t tell anyone because it all happened so fast! DH had to tell a whole house party of friends because he needed to leave our dog with them, and I think he might have told his parents but I wasn’t really aware!

If there is a second time, we will need to tell MIL as she will be in charge of Dd and the dog.

Mybobowler · 14/02/2021 07:28

My partner called my mum when I was on my way to to the L&D ward but it was about 10pm at that point. Other than mum, no one else knew. It was lovely to be able to call and text people the following morning with a "Good morning! Look who joined us last night..."

Ejb86 · 14/02/2021 07:37

@SunnySideUp2020 I'm only telling my SiL/BiL as I want to be left in peace. By default, telling them means telling hubby's parents too. When I had my little boy my mum was on the ward waiting for me to get back from theatre. Actually looking forward to potentially just having some time with the baby before being descended upon to peer in through the windows.

bez91 · 14/02/2021 07:50

No one. You can really do without the attention 🙈

I was in slow labour, DH obviously knew but I was fine at home whilst he finished off at work. My dad called by unannounced which is unusual for him. Knocked on the door and said "not in labour yet then" I said well yes actually I am, he said. Well ok I'll come in to be polite but I won't stay long and don't put the kettle on 😆 I'd tell as little people as possible if there's a next time too.

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