Feeling guilty about your dog

[Preggarsjojo]

Okay, this might be a strange one.. But I have 3 dogs, the youngest is a little Chihuahua called Pepper, she’s only 2yrs old and is extremely emotionally and physically attached to me, and I am also emotionally and physically attached to her! I absolutely adore her. Ever since lockdown I’ve not been able to work so I’ve been in the house 90% of the week, Pepper has become even more attached to me. When I occasionally leave the house she stresses out and wants to come, she sleeps on the bed, scratches at my legs wanting up for cuddles, when I’m sat down she wants up on my knee etc. She’s the most loving cuddly little dog and like I said has become so much more attached to me over the past 3/4 months. I’m due my first baby in May, I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant, so not long to go. I cry myself to sleep at night when Pepper is cuddled into me because I know when baby is here I won’t be able to do this. I’ll be up through the night a lot, I won’t be able to cuddle and hold her as much as I do now, I’m not sure how she will feel or react to a new crying baby in the house!! I feel extremely guilty and almost selfish bringing this baby into Peppers life, I know that probably sounds MAD!!🤣 I just don’t want any of my dogs (but especially Pepper) to feel left out or neglected, like her whole world is changing. Anyone else feel the same? Pepper gets on great with my other two dogs and she loves everyone in the household, so she will still have people to love and cuddle her, she is very loved by all my family, i’m just concerned because of how attached both Pepper and I are to one another..I hope she’s become more attached to me because I’m pregnant, maybe she can sense it and wants to be protective over the baby?? Maybe I’m just saying this to make me feel better lol.. Maybe it’s just hormones 🤣 She’s currently cuddled up on my lap whilst I write this, haha!! How did your pets react to a new baby?

We got a puppy 2 months before finding out I was pregnant! He will be 1 by the time the baby arrives as I'm only 12 weeks so I'm hoping young enough to adjust but I am having the same worries!

Our plan is to try and work on things that might be an issue eg being left alone, stair gates, not jumping onto my lap uninvited etc extensively over the next 6 months so he is happy and relaxed with all the ground rules before the baby arrives.

I'm also planning on buying him lots of chews and puzzles to keep him occupied while I'm busy with baby, and hopefully he will think baby = nice things for me!

I can fully see myself and DH at opposite ends of the sofa, one cradling the baby and one cradling the dog haha.

Best of luck!! I'm sure you will all be absolutely fine.

OP it sounds like you have a lovely bond with Pepper. I have a little rescue dog who I absolutely adore and I'm 'his person' so totally understand. I know when baby arrives it will be a big adjustment for him, but I think he will be quite protective of baby!

I do think you really need to start getting Pepper used to not sleeping in bed with you and spending more time apart, before the baby arrives. Get her used to a new routine/way of living gently. Then she wont feel like her whole world has changed overnight when you bring baby home.

Ultimately dogs are adaptable and love you no matter what, and I'm sure she will love the new member of her pack :)

You need to set ground rules now! That lovely cuddly dog can turn in to a jealous and territorial problem if you are not careful. You have to start the distancing now so that she'll be used to it by the time baby arrives.

I had a dog when I got pregnant with my eldest. She was a big softie for me but due to some little shizzles of kids throwing stones at her as a pup, she hated kids. I had to make the hard decision to leave her to live at my parents as she just couldn't be trusted with my daughter (we did try). She died several years ago now. We have another dog now but she's younger than all our kids so has always known where her place is, if the kids are getting too much she has been trained to go to her cage where they are not allowed to bother her. She's a big powerful dog with the potential to break bones with a single bite so good training was always a big priority for us, that's training of the kids too (the dog's more obedient). She adores the kids (in small doses) and is very protective of them too.

Please think about what you could do now to prepare. It sounds like you have a lovely bond with her but if things change overnight when the baby arrives Pepper won't understand and you could have a problem on your hands - possibly a dangerous one. The fact that Pepper is experiencing separation anxiety now is a bit of a red flag that needs to be dealt with right away.

If you put boundaries in in the right way Pepper won't feel neglected. She does need time to adapt though - a big change overnight will be really stressful for a dog. Things like getting some of the baby stuff set up now could help - Pepper can get used to them being there and won't associate the change with the baby. She probably needs to learn not to sleep with you as well.

Good luck and hopefully Pepper will love your new addition.

I had this to a lesser extent with my cat... Was fully planning to stop her sleeping on the bed a month or so before baby arrived, but then he came 6 weeks early. Cat was banned from the bedroom for first year because I was paranoid about cot death, and she was OK with it. Doesn't seem to have affected our bond and she and the (nearly 2 year old) tolerate each other .

I've had my dog 13 years and hes been my whole world and got me through some awful times. I remember crying when pregnant because I felt so bad that I was changing his life and hes old and has some health issues and I just kept thinking my poor boy won't understand.

He did used to sleep cuddled up to me but over time this moved to the end of the bed, so whilst I was pregnant we gradually moved this to on the floor by the bed. Because of his tablets he would wake up for a wee most nights anyway so I started just not putting him back on the bed after that, nestling him in his bed on the floor instead. He looked a bit confused for a couple of nights but got on with it. Then we just started putting him to bed there from the start.

As it turns out he couldn't be less bothered by the baby. He likes to lie next to us on the sofa whilst I do feeds/ naps, and I think he likes the fact I'm home all the time. Now she's 6 months he's in heaven because we are weaning and there's a lot of dropped food.

I always make a point of giving him a big fuss and cuddle once baby is down for the night. I don't think he's arsed though really, its more for my benefit.

There are things you can do to prepare, a dog trainer would help, off the top of my head things like playing a baby crying so they get use to the noise! Letting them smell all the new things, baby's nursery, pram, etc. Be prepared that the love you feel for your newborn could make you feel differently about your dogs at least to begin with. ie. the idea of snuggling with your dog when you have a baby to care for and keep safe may be at the back of your mind! Don't put human emotions on to your dogs, especially around babies/children, learn the signs of discomfort, dislike, stress etc in your dogs and don't force interaction between them and baby. I didn't allow my dog to have anything to do with baby till they were walking 1-1.5 other than occasional sniff. Good luck!

Im 32 weeks pregnant and my dog is very clingy not that I also mind I enjoy having her around me but sometimes she just worries me. Since I got pregnant she been by my side 24/7 and she has also stop eating. Any advice?

@Lexs if your dog is not eating you need to take her to see a vet. When ours refuses food is because she's ill.

@Preggarsjojo

Okay, this might be a strange one.. But I have 3 dogs, the youngest is a little Chihuahua called Pepper, she’s only 2yrs old and is extremely emotionally and physically attached to me, and I am also emotionally and physically attached to her! I absolutely adore her. Ever since lockdown I’ve not been able to work so I’ve been in the house 90% of the week, Pepper has become even more attached to me. When I occasionally leave the house she stresses out and wants to come, she sleeps on the bed, scratches at my legs wanting up for cuddles, when I’m sat down she wants up on my knee etc. She’s the most loving cuddly little dog and like I said has become so much more attached to me over the past 3/4 months. I’m due my first baby in May, I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant, so not long to go. I cry myself to sleep at night when Pepper is cuddled into me because I know when baby is here I won’t be able to do this. I’ll be up through the night a lot, I won’t be able to cuddle and hold her as much as I do now, I’m not sure how she will feel or react to a new crying baby in the house!! I feel extremely guilty and almost selfish bringing this baby into Peppers life, I know that probably sounds MAD!!🤣 I just don’t want any of my dogs (but especially Pepper) to feel left out or neglected, like her whole world is changing. Anyone else feel the same? Pepper gets on great with my other two dogs and she loves everyone in the household, so she will still have people to love and cuddle her, she is very loved by all my family, i’m just concerned because of how attached both Pepper and I are to one another..I hope she’s become more attached to me because I’m pregnant, maybe she can sense it and wants to be protective over the baby?? Maybe I’m just saying this to make me feel better lol.. Maybe it’s just hormones 🤣 She’s currently cuddled up on my lap whilst I write this, haha!! How did your pets react to a new baby?

I feel exactly like this with my two spaniels, I could cry I feel that guilty 🤣 they're my world!! How did it go when you had baby? I just don't want mine feeling left out xx

Same here @els96!!! Could have written that exact sentence myself! When r u due?? We haven't got long and ppl keep asking how r the dogs gonna cope?! I reallt have no idea!!! Showering then with love attention and walks at the mo, and will get them dog walks with a walker and doggy day care when baby arrives, partly to take pressure off us but making sure they get some fun stuff too!

My dog was 7 when DS1 arrived.

Poor dog was so distressed when I was in labour at home, he would not leave me alone, whining. I stayed at home a bit too long, first baby and I didn’t know what to expect, 9cm when I got to hospital!

When we brought baby home he was asleep in his car seat. Let dog have a look at him and a good sniff.

Never had any problems with jealousy, never left them in the same room together, even though my dog was gentle, he did suffer repeated ear infections, so a toddler grabbing at his ears, may have caused a reaction.

As much as I loved my dog, your relationship with them does change, as motherhood is full on. I think you need to accept that.

My lovely dog was pts at 13 still miss him every day.

Good luck with your babies

@leftitlate37

Same here *@els96*!!! Could have written that exact sentence myself! When r u due?? We haven't got long and ppl keep asking how r the dogs gonna cope?! I reallt have no idea!!! Showering then with love attention and walks at the mo, and will get them dog walks with a walker and doggy day care when baby arrives, partly to take pressure off us but making sure they get some fun stuff too!

As much as I'm overjoyed about the baby, I'm really nervous about my two babies 😢🤣❤️ they're honestly my best friends (sounds cringe) but I'm so worried how they'll be. I don't want them to feel hurt / left out. My partner says it won't happen and we won't let it but I know my time will now be devoted to the baby. I'm not due till next March so going to try and get things in place to try and get them used to it, get the nursery sorted, baby stuff in places etc. It's really worrying me 😢 xx

I'll keep u posted then @els96 as we haven't got long to go!!
Ha I'm totally same....the dogs r literally apple of my eye! Everything has revolved round them! Tbf me and hubby do nearly all dog walks together and both run with them....I think that will be the main thing to change that one of us will be dealing with baby and the other sort the dogs. I figure no diff to people with loads of kids...just happens we got dogs!!!!

I’ve got the sweetest whippet shepherd mix who is 3. She’s a bit timid/avoidant around most kids, but she does tend to be more outgoing with babies, so we’ll see!
I’m hoping that my folks can give her some extra attention when they visit after baby arrives.

@leftitlate37

I'll keep u posted then *@els96* as we haven't got long to go!! Ha I'm totally same....the dogs r literally apple of my eye! Everything has revolved round them! Tbf me and hubby do nearly all dog walks together and both run with them....I think that will be the main thing to change that one of us will be dealing with baby and the other sort the dogs. I figure no diff to people with loads of kids...just happens we got dogs!!!!

Any updates? Not sure when you were due! Just wanted to see if everything went okay 🥰 xxx