41 and pregnant again

[Rubybasset]

I have 3 children with my ex husband, and at 41 I am now expecting my fourth with my fiance of 2 years (his first) Its been 10 years since I've done this and to be honest I am freaking out! Im so worried that now Im older I may have problems in pregnancy and I will struggle being an older mum. Am I being daft? Has anyone had a similar experience? I will add that I am excited and happy, but just can't stop worrying!

I'm 41 and pregnant with my 2nd. I'm finding it harder this time but I'm thinking that might be more to do with chasing a toddler than age. As your children are older it might not be so bad! I've not had any age related complications (as yet) but am classed as high risk because of my age and my consultant is keen for me to deliver at term - I'm undecided about this atm though!

Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy!!

Thank you, yes I never thought about that. My kids are 17, 14 and 10 so they will be a help I hope. Glad everything is going well so far for you good luck 🥰

I'm 48 now, OP but found myself happily pregnant at 41, delivered at 42. To be honest, it was as easy and as straightforward as my first, when I was 29. I delivered at term, no induction. I was closely monitored because of age and a history of stillbirth, which I found reassuring. What is undeniably harder is going into our 40s with small children. It is amazing. It is wonderful. And our youngest has really been the glue that binds. He has been the greatest gift. So, it's not that 'kids are hard'. It's that our bodies change a bit between our early 40s and late 40s. As I approach 49, I am aware of this. I also think that, well, I guess I've been a mum for nearly 20 years now and I'm a little more tired. But it's certainly not grueling or difficult in the least. I'm just a little slower by comparison to when I was in my 20s and 30s (back then, I could work full time AND hit every single playground, no matter the weather, without flinching, whereas now, it's a bit like, "Playground or.... Minecraft? Great. Minecraft! Here's the screen. Go nuts!"

It's a funny decade, the 40s. It's the one where we begin to truly acknowledge the process of aging and all that comes with the realities of time passing. So to have a young child at this stage keeps my life in 'springtime' mode. It's wonderful. It's beautiful. My 40s have been a particularly hard decade marred by illness and loss. Having a bubbly, innocent, wonderful little boy has certainly kept me buoyant. We have big gaps: 8 years between DCs 1 and 2, 4 years between DCs 2 and 3. Don't even give it age gaps a second thought. Life has a way of working things out just right. And your body remembers everything. Trust it to do its work beautifully and allow yourself to be guided by the midwives. You'll be in good hands. Look after yourself, OP. Enjoy this blessed time.
Congratulations! I wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy!

I had my 2nd 3 weeks before my 41st birthday, although my first was only just 3 at the time.
I felt ok, but I didn’t have the experience of being a younger mother.

I will be 43 next month and I'm currently 5w 4d or thereabouts! Totally feel your worries hun, I'm exactly the same and doesnt help that my last pregnancy was a MC a year ago to it all adds!

@TheVanguardSix
What a lovely positive and heart-warming post. It's lovely to hear this as I am 41 and currently we are considering trying to conceive number 4. We were going to stop at 3 but have enjoyed our last little one so much that we would love a final baby. It's slightly complicated by the fact we will
need to move house. We are doing the house up to sell as soon as lock down is lifted and ideally would like to start ttc after that. I'm wanting to get going straight away but feel like it might be stressful without knowing where we are going to live etc. If I'm lucky enough to fall pregnant I'd be 42 I think when the baby was born. I've made me peace with the fact that I may be too late and if I couldn't conceive. Reading these lovely posts have made me realise that I'm not insane and other people feel like this

@Rubybasset I'm 43 and expecting number 3. DS and DD are twins born when I was 41. Being an older mum has been the most amazing experience of my life and I absolutely love it. I've always been a fit and active person, abs being a new mum just inspires me to make sure that I maintain this. Being older has meant that we've been able to give our children a lovely home at quality of life that we definer couldn't have done 10 or 15 years ago, and that I have been able to give up work to stay at home to raise them - there are many advantages to being an older mum.
Congratulations - enjoy every second! Xxx

this has really lifted my spirits :) I am 33 but pg with baby no 3, there will be a 13/14 year age gap between my older kids and I am really hoping the new arrival has the glue effect that so many people speak of. It's still very early days and I have a scan next week but I have had a few moments where I have thought what on earth am I doing! having a baby when I was 19 vs now is very different already

I'm 41 and pregnant with my 5th. I have an adult DC who is 20s. DH and I had 2 in my late 20s/early 30s plus DC4 who is 18m and who I had aged 40 with an 8yr gap.

My pregnancy with DC4 and indeed with this one (22+5) have been ok in terms of energy levels. DC4 is a high energy toddler, I'm homeschooling the others but I don't personally feel physically worse than I did 10yrs ago.

It has definitely, either through circumstance or I don't know what been 100% easier than my 1st aged 21.

I'm only homeschooling cos of covid like everyone else, I just mean I'm juggling age gaps and pregnancy and physically that's ok. I'm never homeschooling again once it's back to normal 😂

I had DD when I was 40, there's a 16 year gap between her and DS. Honestly, I felt like I actually knew what I was doing when I had her, mainly because I'd managed to bring up DS ok. So actually I found it much easier the second time round and I was much more confident in my parenting skills.
She's 19 now and DS is married with kids of his own, basically they are both still alive and even doing well.
I wish I could tell my 23 year old self (when I was having DS) and 40 year old self how well things have turned out!

I fell pregnant at 41, I was trying, and gave birth at 42. Other DC were 16, 15, 12 or thereabouts. My 4th, DH's 1st. I had a normal pregnancy and birth, no issues. DC is now 7 and such a settled wonderful child. Older DC loved the baby stage and fought about who's turn it was to cuddle, bath, feed etc., and thought DC was absolutely hilarious as a toddler. Now DC is older they spoil him a bit much as they all earn money! 2 no longer live at home and at XMas they insist on staying over on XMas eve just so they can see DC waking up to Santa. I love the dynamic of their relationships with DC. For me, Im 50 this year, I work full time in a stressful job and I just Mother as I would have the Older DC, Ive been mothering for 24 years now and just get on with it. DC doesnt know any different to me being this age, as he gets older he may think that Im over the hill but for now all is as it should be. Congratulations OP

I could have written this! I was 41 [ 42 when he was born ] when I was expecting my fourth child with my second husband. I already had three with my first, so really wasn't expecting to be going through it all again in my 40's :) My elder ones are the time were all in their 20's, so I was well out of touch with having babies.
I had a really easy pregnancy, though ended up with an emergency c section. But this child was the best thing ever. I absolutely loved being a mum again.
That baby is now 20 and still a joy. Congratulation and enjoy your baby when it arrives.

I'm so glad I chose to start this thread, thank you all so much for your stories I feel so much better already! My older children are so wonderful so I must have done something right and I'm more experienced and calm than I was back then. Lots of love to you all x

I'll be 41 next month and am 5+2 today (I think), I have 1 DC who turns one in a couple of days. I'm bricking it with this pregnancy and still haven't got my head around it. Not sure how I'll cope if this works out but also don't believe this will be a sticky bean as I don't have a good track record with pregnancies (2 losses before having DC and before that had unexplained infertility). Women are amazingly strong and resilient though and many many many have babies into their 40's with no issues so there's every chance you will have a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Awe, a lovely thread - thank you for an uplifting read posters.

I’m 42 next week and currently 23weeks with DC3 and DCs of 9 & 7. Physically pregnancy has been fine so far, but I am otherwise fit and healthy.

I’m so looking forwards to having a little one to focus on with a bigger age gap this time!

Good luck OP 🙂