Anyone taken minimal maternity leave

[Notadisneyprincess]

Hi All

Currently 23 weeks. Planning maternity leave etc at the moment. Always knew with this one ( 2nd baby ) I wouldn't be taking a full year (previous issues with post natal anxiety and after some extensive therapy it was agreed that one of the triggers was having nothing else to focus on so DH and I agreed that I would take less time off and he would take some shared parental leave (I'm the main earner so this works in our favor)

Original plan was me for to take 5 - 6 months off, then DH would take a couple of months off, then DC would go to nursery at about 7 months, same as DD1.

My work are struggling to cover my role (quite technical, not something that can really be taught in a matter of months, I've been doing it 5+ years) and were talking through options the other day and I jokingly said if they could guarantee I could WFH until the end of the year I would consider coming back after 6 - 8 weeks, 3 days a week.

I have been approached today (confidentially) by my manager who has asked if I was serious, as if I was they could make WFH and a reduced week happen as it would solve a lot of their issues. The 2 days a week I'm not in they can delegate some aspects of my role, and would leave the more technical bits to the days I am in.

Obviously I am under no obligation to do it, but they have asked me to have a think if I could work with that.

Just wondering if I am mad! It's actually really tempting as I am already worrying about the anxiety piece and this may help, but at the same time I may get to it and regret not taking longer off.

DH is still at work so not asked him about it yet. He does however work shifts and has said before that he would like to be more involved this time (my previous anxiety lead to me very much shutting him out last time) which is something we are both committed to working on.

I did this with my second, although had longer off. I went back to work when she was 16 weeks for 3 days a week (Mon, Wed, Thur). Also did SPL so husband took 10 weeks as well. It worked well for us, and although v tiring to start with we all adapted to the routine quickly.

@Notadisneyprincess I'm self-employed and only intending on taking 2 months off, then going back to working from home part time, basically as and when I can. Hope I'm not making a big mistake in thinking this is doable!

I’m taking 6 months off, basically as soon as I go down to SMP only because I can’t afford the drop in pay. Using accrued leave to go back part time for 2 months then back 5 days a week! Not looking forward to it to be honest.

Genuinely asking, what would DH do when you go back? Would he take shared paternity/whatever it is leave or would he still be working? I ask because it is very unlikely a nursery or CM would take such a young child. They all looked at me like I had two heads when I was going to go back to work at six months after my first baby was born.

It's also worth thinking about any complications etc that may mean you need to take longer off. I had csections with both DC, I couldn't have physically worked before 12 weeks.

I don't blame you for going back early. I was mentally and emotionally ready for it by six months after both DC.

That’s really young. You are likely to be exhausted too. Who would look after the baby on the days you’re working?

Thank you for all the responses - interesting to know I'm not the only one not taking the full year off.

@Onlineshopperforever we wouldn't be looking to put Dc into a nursery before 6 months, some round here do take them for 3 months, but I wouldn't want them in that early. So the idea would be (work permitting)

I would work when DH has a day off (he usually works 4 days a week). there might be a few days where this doesn't quite work, but DH knows his shifts in advance (rolling 6 week roster that doesn't change) so I could map out where there were any issues and flag to work I need leave etc on those days.

I'm already planned in to have a C section following complications from 1st birth (PTSD from this was also a contributing factor to post natal anxiety). I was driving from about 4 weeks after, I know this may be different, so maybe 8 weeks would be a better compromise.

I think it could work so long as you aren't attempting to actually do WFH and Childcare at the same time. Would DH still be doing the childcare while you were working? What would happen on the days when you got no sleep at all and were just a zombie capable of nothing beyond sitting on the sofa in your dressing gown eating crisps and cuddling your fractious baby? It's not a crazy idea but it needs some careful thought and you can't guarantee what the needs of baby#2 will be based on your experiences with baby#1 - it might be completely different!

No advice on when to go back, you have to do what works for u and other half, can oh take shared mat leave ?
Also main point is I would be asking for a pay rise before I agreed to be cutting my mat leave down to help them out.

When I had my first in the Stone Age. You only got 18 weeks paid maternity. I managed I was single lived at home with my dad so no house to run really and only one baby..
Could you use your kit days for a few weeks then if it's not working stay on maternity??

I did an 18 week maternity leave with my first returning last April, first kit day at 6 weeks. Was fine really.

I worked at home with a young baby. It was absolutely fine. As long as work understand you can’t always be immediately available but you will do your allocated work/hours throughout the day, it’s totally doable.

I went back full time when DD was eight weeks old. I was overseas where the standard maternity leave is six weeks, and I tacked on two weeks of annual leave. DD's father had left us, so it was a necessity. It was ok - in fact, for respect at work, it was important not to be treated differently. When in Rome and all that.

A lot will depend on how well your baby sleeps - DS woke every 30-45 mins till about 7 months (at which point it switched to hourly). I was a zombie, I couldn't even drive on weekdays (when DH was working so I couldn't have a lie-in) because it wouldn't have been safe. The notion of working would have been ridiculous.

However - if your baby is a reasonable sleeper, and you decide not to breastfeed so your DH can do night feeds, then it's possible as long as you can get childcare (nanny?).

It sounds very doable. I went back after five months with my first, but would have been happy to return earlier - broken nights weren’t bothering me too much and I felt physically fine and mentally like I needed to do something other than care for a baby.

If you can guarantee WFH (with childcare in place in or out of the home) then it sounds like a great arrangement.

When my daughter was born I really struggled with PND and decided to go back to work 2 days a week when she was 8 weeks old. It made a huge difference to me and I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. If anything it made me a better mum because I was still working and felt like me again. I looked forward to my days at home with her rather than dreading each day as I did when she was first born. She went to a lovely nursery and she’s a bright, happy 9year old now. You do what’s right for you!

I'm taking 12 weeks off due to the nature of my job and also the pay reduction after 6 weeks is terrible.

I'm lucky that myself and partner work shifts so one of us is always at home with the baby, it's slightly lessened my guilt! 🤦🏽‍♀️

I'm the main earner by 3x - I don't get any full paid maternity leave so can only take 18 weeks. It's not unusual these days. I don't know many people who can take a full year off

I took 9 months off both times, my best mate only took 4 weeks off each time (she’s had 5 children) and had a childminder to care for them. It worked for her but it was physically hard work I remember each time

I'm taking 2 months off with this baby, I can work from home and work are really flexible thankfully. I think most people have been working in a strange set-up for the last year anyway so what's the difference?

So who is looking after the baby on the two days you're both working? It's not fair on your work to pretend that you can do your job and look after a 8week old baby.

I went back when DS was 4.5 months old. I was in retail at the time. Went back full time, DS went to nursery 3 days a week, my mum had him one day a week, I had a mid week day off and he was with DH on the weekend day I worked. All happy and fine. He was BF until nursery, then mix fed until about 6 months, then FF from there. Slept through at 13 months!
I think the plan sounds good, I would reiterate what Floopyandtired said about talking to your work about what a working day will look like if you have no childcare for a while. As long as everyone is very clear about expectations and priorties then sounds like a great plan. But I’m not someone who had a romantic view about mat leave and a cooing baby. I mean DS is the acest kid ever, but they don’t do a lot as little babies!

As others have mentioned, in other countries and historically, women did not get a year off work. Even in the Netherlands which is quite progressive most women only get 4 months off work of which 4 weeks has to be taken before the due date. I personally wouldn't do it, but if you are confident you could make it work between you and your DH, it is possible. I think if you are breastfeeding it might be harder as if you need to be on phone calls and the baby needs feeding that is tough to manage, and I'd also be worried about working with sleep deprivation although of course that can last much longer than a few months!