Anyone else?

[Julybaby2021]

Hi Just wondering if anyone else is feeling the same as me..

Im due my first baby in July. Every so often i feel myself in a panic at the thought of doing labour without my mummy. My husband will be with me (well the part that he's allowed at) but i was really hoping my mummy can be there too.. i feel it upsetting me every so often. Does anyone else feel like this?

My mum was at my 2 sons births. Her and baby dad at first and just her at second. I’m a little gutted she can’t be there this time (she cut my youngests cord) but I know my partner (not same dad - better dad) will be great and I will be fine without her.

I’m sure you’ll be just fine and everything will go well. She’s only ever a phone call away if you need her ❤️

No... I never wanted my mum at my births. I took her along to my eldest child's dating scan and I think she was hoping to be invited to births but I only ever wanted my husband present.

No. I personally could think of little worse than my 'mummy' being there. We have a good relationship, but for me, childbirth is a private and special experience between me and my husband (and the medical staff!)

Mummy?? How old are you? And no. My mum passed away as I fell pregnant and even if she was alive, I wouldn't of wanted her at the birth.

It sounds like you think there’s some kind of support that your husband can’t give you but your mother can, what is it?
I would think it’s difficult to feel like this in your relationship with your mother when very soon you will have to be the mother and handle everything yourself. Are you very young?

Not so much about my mum not being at the birth but that she can't see us right after. I'll be in hospital for a couple of days and she's not allowed to visit at all - that I find tough.

Not young at all no.. Im going to be a first time 'mummy'. Ive known others to have their mums & partners with them & would have just liked to have mine with me - doesnt mean i have to be young. My husband will be quite capable of giving me the support i need. I would have just liked my 'mummy' with me aswell. Each to their own

Thanks for the nice comments - but didnt expect to be judged by those saying 'how old are you' 👍 hardly makes a difference what age i am🤷‍♀️

Please don't feel judged. Everyone's mums are different so they all don't know. But I honestly felt like you and really wanted my mum there. I love my mum and she was a good support in my first labour. Massaged the hell out of my legs better than my husband when I was pushing and wanted to give up. My legs felt like they going to give up. I had a natural labour and needed all the support and yeah she was there for me. I wish she was there now but obviously she can't be. She'll be looking after my first child so that's a positive. I know it's your first pregnancy and you'll be worried but just talk to her right now and see if you can get any advice from her. Maybe that will help even a little bit. Know that she's thinking about you.

It’s the way you write that makes you sound young, not necessarily what you want.

As PP said, your post came across as though you're really young. Your upset is not immature, but the tone of your post sounded like you are. So don't feel judged for wanting your mum with you...a lot of women do.

Who knows where we will be in July? Things may be better by then if we're lucky. I'm also due in July OP, and really hoping things will be improved, selfishly because I want my parents to be able to look after my DS and DD while I give birth, but generally because we all need to have some hope that there is light at the end of this awful corona virus tunnel.

Hiya @Julybaby2021 I find my mum to be my most calming influence and was beyond grateful she was there for the birth of my first, it was a long labour (5days) and ended up in an emergency forceps delivery. I was freaking out, my (now ex) husband almost fainted at the mention of surgery and refused to come in. So she kept a very cool head and came to surgery to hold my hand which was absolutely needed.
I completely understand your upset over her not being able to be there.
Here's hoping restrictions are lifted enough for your lovely mum to be able to visit you and your little one as soon as she can. Xx

Hmm I'm very close to my mum but I did not want her at my labour. In fact she was in triage with me and I sent her home! I'm sorry agree with PP that "mummy", when I assume you are prob in 20s - 30s, is a bit weird.

@KimchiLaLa i really dont see why people have a problem with the way i say 'mummy' im in my 30s and the youngest of my siblings - we all call her mummy.. this is totally irrelevant anyway. Mum - mummy - its the same person. Just dont see why people have to be cheeky and put 'mummy' like that. My mummy calls my nanny 'mummy' & shes in her 60s 🙄🤷‍♀️ it hardly matters lol

@Waitingforbabypage thank you for your lovely comment. Im glad theres others out there feel the same as me. My mummy has been through it 5times so she knows what to expect & could keep me calm. I would just love to have her there as extra support along with my husband. Maybe things will change by July. 🙏. Xx

I had my mum at my first birth 3 years ago along with my partner and she was so helpful! I'm absolutely gutted she won't be there when I have DS2 in a few weeks but so grateful I had her for the first birth. Don't listen to anyone being negative about having your mum there, it's actually quite normal to me and a lot of people I know had their mums with them too. Let's hope there will be new rules by July so try not to stress xxx

@SamoyedFan123 heres hoping they relax the restrictions a bit in the hospitals. 🙏

I had my mum in my first labour, as much as my partner would of preferred it if she wasn't there I really felt like I couldn't do it without her. Turns out my partner was absolutely amazing and I barely even noticed my mum was there (she purposely stayed out of the way so it could be just the two of us unless I asked her to step in) I'm really glad I had her there as I know she loved it but even if she is allowed in this time I'm not going to ask her

I'm 31 and if I had the choice I would 100% have my mum there. And that's nothing against my partner, I'm sure he will be great.

I'm not due until September so hopefully things will change by then but just have to wait and see.

Maybe have a think about what support you think your mum would provide that's missing and figure out if there's anything your husband can do to fill that gap? You may still be allowed to have them both, or could maybe get your husband to get her on the phone so you can talk to her if you feel like it.

Personally my mum is staying well away! But I totally understand that everyone's support network is different.