Pregnant and feeling physically and mentally terrible

[Mabelann]

I’m 5 months along with dc4 and I’m feeling the pregnancy and the thought of having a new baby is just too much for me at the moment. I started with 12 weeks of really terrible morning sickness and had to have weeks in bed / off work. Now I’m swollen and uncomfortable, I have spd and I’m permanently exhausted.

I’m ridiculously stressed about my career/ work. I’ve kind of committed to going back to work after 4 months because financially I need to because our maternity policy only offers statutory and we rely on my income equally with DH’s income. I’m really regretting committing to that now and I can’t stop thinking about it. Eg what if at 4 months old the baby still wakes all night (like all my others did) - how will I manage?

I’m really fat, I’ve completely ballooned and that’s part of the reason I feel so uncomfortable.

I’m not at all excited about having this baby, how ever much I try I can’t look forward to it with any kind of excitement other than the fact that it means the pregnancy will be over. It’s another boy, a 4th boy. If it was a girl I think I’d feel differently because at least then there would be an element of novelty about what’s to come but in reality it’s just more of the same.

I keep crying as everything is getting too much for me. I don’t know what to do to make myself feel better.

Oh dear. What was the

*what was the reason/s you got pregnant with baby number 4? You must have wanted the baby at the point that you were ttc. Can you think back?

Yes, I really wanted another child and I still do. It’s just all the other feelings and realities and practicalities have sort of overtaken all the good bits. The pressure of work and the physical strain is too much. If I was going to be a sahm and I didn’t have such uncomfortable pregnancies this would all be so different. Some of my friends seem to just glide thorough pregnancy whereas for me I get every negative symptom in the book.

Hi OP. Sorry to hear you're not feeling excited at the moment. Have you spoken to your midwife about how you are feeling? I'm 99% sure the lockdown / pandemic aren't helping the situation but I think it's probably more than that at this stage.

In terms of mat leave / the financial side, could you look again at your finances - is there anything else you can cut back on? Is there any way you could save a bit extra for the next few months to help extend mat leave by another month or so? Don't forget you may have some holiday to use up, that could help extend it.