39+4 don't want to go into labour

[Dorset555]

Hi all im feeling very confused and guilty as I'm close to my due date and can't honestly say I'm looking forward to labour or the changes that are about to happen. I just keep reading peoples posts saying these last few weeks drag so much and how they just can't wait to meet their baby and I'm really struggling to relate :-(
A friend suggested reflexology to avoid going over my due date...my partner thinks its a great idea but to me it sounds scary to potentially press a button that triggers labour. I know its all got to happen..I'm just really scared and don't know what to do :-(
A

Generally people want the baby out because having it in is bloody uncomfortable. Consider yourself lucky if you're not at that point yet! And tell your friend and husband you'd rather let it happen when it's ready to and not rush it- it's not a big deal and it's your body at the end of the day.

If you think they'll argue (because they're weirdos, which is the only scenario in which I can envision them arguing) just lie and say you love being pregnant and don't want it to end early.

Hi, I felt exactly the same. I was nervous about the birth and even more about how after that moment our life would change, I had no idea what to expect although I had read all the books etc etc. It's a daunting time so please don't feel bad, it's emotional, exciting, scary and every emotion under the sun! Baby will make their appearance when they are ready so try and rest as much as possible and do exactly what you want to do. Good luck xx

You don't need to evict baby, they know generally speaking how to get out. Tell everyone who's pushing you to start labour to back the duck off and try to find a way to relax.

That moment of change is scary but once baby is here it'll all just be a memory

I feel exactly the same! This is stupid but I've developed hemorrhoids and am so scared to go into labour with them I feel like they will fall out and I'm going to end up having to have major surgery or something 🤦‍♀️. I'm also 39+4 today so hoping he stays in for longer

People don’t generally want baby out because they’re desperate to blow their vaginas off most want them out because they’re horrifically uncomfortable and want the nightmare that is pregnancy to finally end!

By the time I had my first I’d have happily let them break both my legs just to go a day without vomiting and be able to sleep more than 45 minutes at once!

Don’t feel bad for not wanting to go into labour. No one enjoys labour itself.

Thank you so much for all the replies I feel really reassured actually...munsnet is so helpful! Hadn't really thought about it like that...def feel the pressure to want to not go over the mythical due date...I'm going to try and chill out and run my own race!! Thank you all so so much

@Sam042017 wow we are the same due date sorry you're feeling worried too im sure everything will pan out just fine and you probably won't even give them a second thought!
I guess there is just so much build up to the "big day" ..280 off days....plus alot of time with not much distraction available. Ive never been pregnant in normal non pandemic times...I wonder if it makes a difference to these emotions x

Aw I can relate! Not as far along as you but I'm terrified. And can't believe when people say it was the best day of their life, I just think really?! 😂 The day you were in extreme pain and your body was put to the ultimate physical test?! I'm being flippant, I know, but I will not be looking forward to it either OP! The thought of meeting the baby is lovely the course, but the act itself is not something to look forward to (unless, as some have said, you are really uncomfortable).

Sorry I don't have any tips or advice, just wanted to say you are not alone! Unless I'm really uncomfortable, I'll be crossing my legs and hoping to delay the inevitable for as long as I can! 😂

Thanks very much :-) I think my anxiety is 3-fold:

1. Labour being painful/difficult
2. The baby not being ok
3. Life changing forever

I guess these are all normal worries and the 9month build up is coming to a head.. its all just a bit terrifying!

@Dorset555 How are you feeling now? X

Feeling a bit better thanks @Sam042017...I think its so hard to really know how you're feeling when hormones are going a lil loopy too...
I found it very reassuring to know that other people don't look forward to labour its about not being pregnant any more and meeting your baby:-)
But also...pretty scared and apprehensive!!
How are you doing? Any signs so far? I went out on my walk today and had really sharp pain which made me turn back... I think was 'lightning crotch' , but was over pretty quick. I def have alot more braxton hicks atm too, especially in the evenings.

I don't think you have much choice! The babe has to be born. I didn't find labour terrible, just exhausting.

@Dorset555 glad you're feeling a little better... once the labour is done it will all be forgotten but I'm apprehensive too don't worry 💕.

Ahh it sounds like progress, I don't feel like I've had any signs really yet!! X

Haha yep I think im coming to terms with the fact its inevitable 😅
I thought 9 months would be enough time to get my head round it but perhaps I need 9 months and a few more days!
Good luck @Sam042017 thanks for the reassuring words both!

Have you thought about hypnobirthing? The Positive Birth Company's digital pack can be done at home and has some great tips for helping to relax and stay calm when your time comes.

I had reflexology the week before I gave birth. It didn't make labour come on or anything like that, but it was amazing and helped me to relax. Basically a bit of pampering before bub came along as much as anything. Try to do things for yourself as much as you can in these last days.

I'll swap with you OP, I'm only 29 weeks and so so done with this pregnancy! It's my second though so I understand your apprehension with your first! I didn't look forward to labour but hated/hate pregnancy so much I looked forward to no longer being pregnant!

Thanks @welshcake15 yes I've done the positive birth company course and funnily enough just booked in for reflexology in Tuesday!
I think im realising I'm a bit of a worrier and an over thinker...something that I am pretty good at managing (or perhaps surpress) when its just me...but quite overwhelming when it comes to another person arriving into the world!
I think im so anxious to stay calm that im shooting myself in the foot!

@KylieKangaroo ah let's swap!!
Is it the physical symptoms you hate about being pregnant or the emotional roller coaster? Or the million other weird pregnancy things that you hate?
I've not been pregnant outside of a pandemic so feel like I've been quite lucky with pregnancy in terms of not having to go into the office or deal with public transport or too much judgment from well meaning people! I've also not had a complicated pregnancy but its such a minefield of worry from start to finish!