Partner not making decision

[victopai]

Hi all,

I've found out I am pregnant. After some time deciding what I would like to do, I have come to the decision I would like to keep baby. After 15 years of infertility (this is new partner), it came as a huge shock to be pregnant. It had taken me a long time to accept I wasn't going to be a mother, so this through me over a loop. My partner won't commit either way to want he thinks or wants. He tells me he is too old. (40) That he has had his kids. But he knows I want this. I'm unsure if he will stand by me with a decision to keep this baby. We was supposed to move in together in July. The moving day was Monday. I got told on Friday he was pulling out. Then he has split up with me at another point. So I am anxious about this life altering situation. He tells me I can't bring up the past. I think it's valid. So I just want some advice please if anyone has any words of wisdom or a slap with the truth of what you think. I would really appreciate it. Do I give home more time at thinking this through? Even though is making a decision to have an abortion harder for me? Thank you for your time

The choice ultimately is yours. Are you willing and able to go it alone?

My DH was a nightmare when I was pregnant, went on about being undecided, not clear about what he wants. I told him I was having the baby with or without him. That seemed to settle his head as in truth his only choice was to be in his childs life 100% or not.

Its tough for you as you had assumed you couldnt have children, so tougher choice.

Sorry your going through this.

Keep your baby it's sounds like you really want it!

You will be find if it turns out he walks away promise you! It's the most rewarding thing in the world and you honestly don't need them.

After such a long time being infertile please don't let your emotions get the better of you. I do get where he's coming from but the point is YOU haven't had any children and now you've had a miracle x

If you want the baby then you will manage without him if you need to.
He's got months to get used to the idea and to be quite honest needs to grow up!

You can do it!! Women are strong and capable of anything and it'll be the most rewarding thing.
My partner (husband and been living together for years) also freaked out for a good few months at the beginning and I thought we would break up over it but he came around and now (I'm 37 weeks) he's really excited about it. Also, if you terminated, which I assume is the other option, how would you feel afterwards? Could you stay with him or would there be resentment there?
I think he's having a freaking out moment and he'll come round :)

Thank you everyone. It's really really helped. Just what I needed to hear. So kind for you to reply.
It's comforting (if you know what I mean) that he isn't only person who struggled.
And you are all right in that I can do it on my own. I'm a badass! ;). Thanks again

He sounds like a flake. Please do not have an abortion for him. You can do this on your own and you will, if that is what YOU want. Good luck

Your relationship is over either way.

If you want this baby, have it, but do it on your own. So much easier than with this knobhead.

Congratulations.

I don't understand what he means by 'you can't bring up the past.' The past actions of people tell you who they are inside. It's a bit like saying 'I can say what I want but that isn't allowed to change how you feel about me as a person,' which is utter bullshit.

When people tell (or show) you who they are, believe them. He sounds super wishy washy and totally unreliable. So he's allowed to pull out of long term decisions last minute (like moving in) but that can't make you change your mind about him?? What a fucking double standard.

I don't trust this guy as far as I can throw him (which given my heavy pregnancy, is probably not at all).