Losing my mind worrying in 3rd trimester - any tips?

[BlueberryPancake21]

I want to know if anyone else feels like this/has felt like this and if you found a way to get through it?

I'm 31 weeks now and really struggling to cope mentally. I do have a lot of the physical stuff other people describe but it honestly pales into insignificance compared to the mental pressure. I am constantly worried that something is going to happen to my baby and it will die in the womb. All the NHS stuff says to "trust your instincts" but I know my instincts are faulty - I had a MMC after seeing a heartbeat at 8 wks which came completely out of the blue and I've been convinced something is wrong when it isn't so many times this PG. I feel like it's my responsibility to look out for anything that could be wrong while they're still inside and it's become obsessive and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything else. Add in that I've never had a PG progress this far and I don't know what I'm looking for and it's all-consuming. I should be working but actually spend whole days on MN/Google. If I avoid my laptop I just sit there worrying.

I'm going mad with stats - I know it's rare but I'm actually more likely to have a stillbirth than to die from COVID but the whole world is in lockdown for COVID. Why is everyone seemingly so complacent about their baby dying?

I can't bear to look at the things we've bought for the baby and I can't even think about the birth and how to prepare for it - I'm so convinced that it won't happen.

Has anyone else felt like this? What did you do? There's a few too many weeks left for me to feel like I can just wait. I already have counselling but these thoughts just won't go away.

I know how you feel OP, I'm exactly the same. I am currently 35 weeks and the anxiety has just got worse.
Seeing as you already have a counsellor, I'd try meditation. Trying to empty your mind of all thoughts (even if you fail) has a very calming effect.
I would also step away from the Internet, stop googling. It really isn't helpful! You could listen to podcasts about birth and pregnancy - "taking back birth" for example has a couple of episodes about pregnancy after loss which I found helpful. She also talks about anxiety during pregnancy and baby movements, which might make you feel a bit more in control.
I think it's normal to feel anxious after you've lost one or more babies because you realise that things really can go wrong and you know how devastating it is. But there are things you can do to cope with your feelings. All the best

Sending lots of love. I’ve been exactly the same. I did all the baby shopping but hid it all away. I’ve only told the people we are expecting if I absolutely couldn’t avoid it and there certainly isn’t a ‘nursery’ at this stage though we have all the essentials. I only packed the hospital bags when there was a scare I might need to go in early. I’m terrified that I won’t be bringing a baby home. The closer I get to the due date, the more my anxiety increases.

I spoke to the midwife and consultant about my fears, they did talk to me about the actual medical risks which was helpful to put things into perspective. I’ve repeated my fears at each appt (if they’ve been there) so that they are aware I need support and someone to discuss this with. I’ve been trying to take each day as it comes. I would suggest talking to the medical professionals, and anyone within your support network (partner, parents, friend etc). Don’t suffer alone. Avoid google, it is NOT your friend. I have also avoided the news when it comes to covid as frankly all you can do is take measures to protect yourself. I find distraction methods are quite good when you want to dwell, such as watching a comedy, playing a game, adult colouring book, reading. Basically anything that is focussing your mind on something else. At this stage you can monitor movements and if in doubt contact the midwife/hospital for advice/monitoring.
I know it can be hard to talk about a pregnancy when you’re anxious about it but please do share your concerns with those around you, don’t suffer in silence. Wishing you the very best.

I am exactly the same @BlueberryPancake21 (31 weeks too!) I go through massive highs when I feel lots of movement and feel excited for the baby to come, to huge lows if I think it’s quietened down and can’t even comprehend the idea of bringing my baby home.

Like PP said, distraction techniques have been a tremendous help. I even bought some Lego recently to sit and mindlessly do something but anything will do!

My midwife also suggested I keep a movement log. I know for some women writing down instances of movement might make things worse, but for me it’s been very helpful. When I think ‘oh, he’s been a bit quiet this afternoon’ I can look back and see ‘well, he was a bit quiet at this time a couple of days ago and everything was fine’. Or I write down if I’ve been particularly busy and missed lunch, or anything which might impact on feeling movement!

I was just the same with my two children..I just wanted them out and safe! I am not sure I can recommend anything specifically...for me it was just a case of getting through it. And getting checked if I was worried about movements. Both mine finally came out (late and after being induced) safe and well and it now seems a distant memory. But I think how you are feeling is common and I wish you well!

I feel the same, I'm 30 weeks now.
I had Ivf and really never thought I'd get here. I think that is contributing to it.
Plus I've have a fairly rough pregnancy
So have been on medication the whole time.
Do you have any more scans coming up? If not maybe a private scan would ease your mind, although not sure they are allowed just now.
I had a sizing scan at 28 weeks and all fine, but we couldn't see her face as she wouldn't turn round so now I am worried about her face! 🙈
I've another scan at 34 weeks so waiting for that.

Thanks everyone! It actually really helps to know I'm not the only one. Most people I speak to think they understand my worry but when you talk a bit more I always realise my anxiety is on a different level! The fact that there are other people that actually feel like this is somehow reassuring - I think I'd let a sneaky thought get in that maybe I felt this way because something actually is wrong and I have some special instinct for it. But we can't all be like that and good to see stories where you've got to the other side. Good luck everyone - I hope we all manage to hang in there.