Find out gender or not?

[MBb217]

So I’ve been split 50/50 on this since the start of my pregnancy. I told myself I wanted a surprise but as I get closer to the 20 week scan I’m more curious. I’m not keen to buy much gendered clothing as I would like to be able to reuse a lot of it for a future baby and we have our names picked out for both boy and girl. Should I just wait so I can have a surprise at the birth? Does it remove any of the excitement/suspense/anticipation ahead of the birth?

If we found out I’d like to keep it from family/family if possible by not telling that we have found out. Did anyone find this way too difficult to do?

Basically - if you did or didn’t find out, how do you feel about your decision and what would you advise?

I always thought I wouldn’t want to find out but when it came to it by 20 weeks I was just desperate for some more information! I suppose I also had a mild gender preference so wanted some time to absorb whatever that information actually was. As names are such a struggle I also liked the idea of only having to work on one set!

Overall I’m glad I found out at the scan as the birth was a rubbish and I was a bit broken afterwards, so I’m not sure I would have been in a position to be excited by finding out the sex immediately afterwards.

Now pregnant with number 2 and while i still quite like the idea of having the patience to wait to find out, I doubt very much I will!

@TildaTurnip you are so right!

The exciting bit about the birth is meeting/ seeing/ holding your baby rather than the gender- reminds me of a couple of friends who didn't find out and when baby came out didn't ask straight away as they were shattered 😂

Didn't find out with first child, then found out with second, but purposely have told people we didn't find out. I think finding out and then telling people you have, but won't tell them the sex, is really asking for unnecessary drama.

We found out second time so we could prepare a bit mentally and it's been easy to keep calling DC2 "the little one" or "the baby" - not like we are seeing anyone to talk about it anyway!

We decided not to but after the 20-week scan, I regretted not doing it as I got really curious. Now a few weeks on from the scan I'm glad I didn't cave as I want the surprise. I think if we have another one I'll find out at the scan.

I agree with the above post that if you're going to find out but don't want to tell others I'd just say that you don't know. I found it weird when a family member said they found out but were keeping it a surprise for everyone until the birth. I wasn't keen to know I just didn't get why you'd do that.

We've found out with 1, not found with the other. If we have any more id 100% not find out again, it just adds so much extra excitement for us!

I didn't find out with 1, found out by accident with 1 and found out by choice with 1. So, pretty much covered all options!

None of their births were any more or less exciting than the others! How could they be? I was meeting my baby for the first time - their genitalia made no difference.

I agreed that it's a surprise either way - I didn't find out with my first and am really pleased I didn't as it added to all of the excitement. Although as a PP said, I was so elated and exhausted after birth that it took me a while to get around to asking if it was a boy or girl - I was just so happy to have my baby.

This time round with my second we decided to find out and that has also been really lovely and exciting. I also think it's helped my little boy to bond with his 'sister bump' (although he was adamant from the start that it was a sister and been we told him he just said "yes I know" as if we were a bit stupid ).

There's no right or wrong, either way it's a wonderful moment that you get to experience, whenever you choose to experience it.