Scared of pregnancy and childbirth!

[bookshop1]

Currently TTC, but I'm pretty scared about being pregnant and giving birth

I've had anxiety and depression in the past, generally related to physical symptoms of anxiety. Which in turn spiral and I become more anxious. Generally under control though, no symptoms for the last 3 years or so. I'm worried my anxiety will come back with the storm of pregnancy hormones, and I'll find it difficult to cope.

I guess I'm scared of what it will feel like to be pregnant. Your stomach growing and growing, feeling a baby moving around etc. And not being able to escape the sensations, many of which I'm sure are unpleasant.

I have emetophobic too, so I'm terrified of morning sickness and of course hyperemesis.

I'm scared of the pain and being ripped open during birth, all the blood and gore. And having to recover from all that whilst also looking after a brand new baby.

I really want a child. I'm just massively freaked out by pregnancy! What does it feel like?! I can just imagine feeling a baby moving around inside and it feeling horrible!

@p3rsephone Are you able to make your own thread rather than hijacking mine? I'm Not particularly interested in your 'sniz' or potential baby names, and not at all relevant to my post.

Thanks to those who have reassured me. Really helpful to hear from fellow emetophobes who have got through it! I haven't vomited in over 20 years so it does scare me that this could be the time it happens. But hopefully will be worth it...And may help me conquer my fear?

Something growing inside me does freak me out. But hopefully I'll be less freaked out by movements once baby is in there and moving about and I feel more of a connection to them.

I suffer really badly with insomnia around my period so I'm worried I'll be awake for the whole pregnancy!

I'm not worried about 'worst case scenario' type stuff, more the normal pregnancy type things... fear of the unknown I guess!

The vomiting was the thing I feared most too, especially as I was a teacher so I was terrified of doing it in front of a class of kids. But again, I felt sick all the time, constantly, but only used to vomit at home in the evenings, and i did get used to it as horrible as it sounds. Before becoming pregnant I would be terrified of vomiting. It did cure my fear of it (although admittedly it wasnt a phobia). You just sort of get on with it, mainly because it just happens and you cant do much about it, or for some it doesnt happed at all. Again, it's a lifetime with a child for a month or 2 of nausea. Trust me. It's worth it.

@bookshop1 I was just like you; still am to a certain extent, and I’m 18 weeks!

The first trimester I wasn’t physically sick at all, but I did feel nauseous a lot. Basically from 4pm right up until bedtime. This went away around week 10, and was manageable with small, bland meals.

I’m just starting to feel the baby- I have a tiny, firm dome on my lower stomach, and though sometimes it weirds me out, mostly I’m fascinated by it. I can’t stop touching it and remembering there’s actually a baby in there.

I’m less nervous about the birth now the baby is actually in there. It’s gotta come out somehow, and even if it’s hellish, it’s only a day or so, then I’m done. Defo gonna try the hypnobirthing cause!

I'm 16 weeks with my first and have put off having a baby for around 5 years because I am so absolutely terrified of pretty much everything that could happen to me and my life with pregnancy/childbirth/looking after a baby. What made me finally take the plunge as it were was imagining my husband and I in the future with children aged 4+ and decided that I didn't want to be without those experiences.

I'm still having quite intense fears about childbirth but having CBT which is really helping and started reading the book "Your No Guilt Pregnancy Plan" which seems good so far.

Also, with pregnancy so far my symptoms have been so mild I was half convinced I wasn't actually pregnant until I had my first scan so you may be lucky!