Event excuses without revealing pregnancy

[NotMeekNotObedient]

Please give me your best excuses for not going to future events, without revealing you are pregnant.

Very good friend who is also my boss has invited me to her big birthday celebration- which will be 3 weeks before my due date. I live in London, the birthday weekend will be in Scotland, not sure of location but could be remote. I would be going without DH.

I really don't think I can go (want to be close to home/hospital/DH), but usually this is something I would 100% go to. Same friend travelled many many miles to attend our wedding so can't really use the too far excuse even though it's not a journey I'd want to do at 8m pregnant.

Can't tell work/friend yet as just at promotions time and I'm only 11 weeks. Not planning to tell work for a few months yet (I'm wfh so easy to hide).

Please give me some excuses...it will be obvious later on and feel weird about having to say I was lying later on!

Don’t want to book anything yet because of COVID it can’t be guaranteed and worried about losing money, you’ll book nearer the time and then when the time comes you can tell them.

I imagine that any venue will allow for a 10% lower booking number for a big party.
I would say I'd love to go initially. Then when you have your confirmed due date explain it to your friend and she will understand that you will be more of a maybe attendee.
I had a friend that I invited to our wedding hich was close to her due date, I was understanding when she said she didn't want to come at a weeks notice.

Oh no! I’m so sorry, I already have that date saved for a family wedding! (And then tell her the truth nearer the time of course)

Is Covid not enough?

Surely it is easy to say you don't want to commit to anything until restrictions ease?

Try to say something non-committal, like yeah that sounds lovely, and later on, if you want to not go, just say you're not going when you feel like making that call. If it's a big party it's no big deal at all for you to miss it, and it will be understood. Don't be overthinking it. Good luck!

Covid?

You can’t possible commit to anything that’s within the next 9 months because who knows what restrictions there’ll be!

If you are 11 weeks I'd just tell her and say keep it to yourself for now. If she's a good friend she will.

I just said "yes" to anything like that until I was ready to tell people. It's not like she won't be able to change the numbers later if it's half a year away. When you do tell her you can either tell the truth or say you were hoping you'd be able to make it work because she's really important to you but now you've had time to think about you don't think it will be possible so close to your due date. And then get her a really lovely gift and take her out for dinner (assuming that's allowed) to celebrate closer to home.

Or if you're waiting for 12 week scan you could just hold off on replying.

Or pick from relative's birthday, parent's wedding anniversary, friend's wedding, sister's hen do weekend, irrational terror of crossing the Scottish border during a waning moon...

Hopefully your work won't discriminate against you on grounds of pregnancy in any case given that it's a protected characteristic? (I know... I do live in the real world too...)

Erm......covid?!

The event is 6 months away, surely you don't have to RSVP immediately?! Just say how exciting, thank you for the invite, let me look into logistics and get back to you... then after your 12 week scan (which can't be far away?) tell her you're pregnant and can't go.

When you tell her you can ask her to keep it confidential at work until you are ready to announce it.

Oh and if you really must RSVP before you're ready to tell her you're pregnant, I'd use the family wedding excuse tbh. I think (very much hope!) covid restrictions will be relaxed by June, although that's by no means guaranteed of course.

Just covid surely? Just say sounds great but you don’t want to commit to anything so far ahead when nobody knows what restrictions will be in place, tbh I’d genuinely not be making plans for a big party any time soon anyway

I know a lot of people are saying to use COVID as an excuse. Honestly it makes perfect sense to me... but... what I've found is that people who are actually planning stuff for later this year think you're being ridiculous and unsupportive and get really wound up if you use this as a reason. I imagine they are planning a party because they think (or have convinced themselves) COVID isn't/won't be an issue and get irrationally upset when you say you think it might be. I guess it feels like you're sh**g on their parade? I've had this with a family 60th in June and a hen do in April (April FFS!) Both got really angry when I brought up the C-word! It was actually a lot easier telling them I would be giving birth/looking after a newborn!

Maybe I just have crazy friends and family but I guess it does make sense - if you say you can't go then you're just saying you won't be there. If you say you can't go because of COVID you're saying (between the lines) that you think they are going to have to cancel the whole thing.

Why not just say yes now and then when you do tell people you are pregnant jist cancel.
Why are you leaving it so long to tell people?