Second baby or finances??

[tonyharrisonboosh]

Hi!

First post so go easy!

I have a 4 year old boy with my partner and we are a very happy family. We have been through a lot with my partner getting rid of his loss making business, being unemployed for a year and finally getting a decent job with a decent wage and I don't want to rock the boat.

My little boy starts school in September which means we will finally be free of nursery fees to the tune of £500 a month. I'm also grateful still have my job after a short period on furlough and covid wreaking havoc on the industry I work in. All in all things are finally getting on an even keel and we may be able to move house if we can keep some stability.

Then there is a question as to whether to have another baby?!? In my heart I would love one but when I think about how it would affect us financially I get confused. I know my work wouldn't like me going on maternity leave as they will argue that they kept me on even through a period of redundancy. It just feels like such a delicate time. Plus there is the thought of 9 months on SMP and then nursery fees. It would really put us back a few years but it may be worth it.

I just feel so conflicted. Has anyone ever had this decision to make? Am I overthinking?

I say go for it. Your job may not like it but tough. They can't sack u for being preg that's discrimination. If probed by them u could always say it's an accident and u don't believe in abortion

Is there ever a financially right time to take the plunge? I don't think so.
The past year has shown us that things can change in the blink of an eye. Waiting a few months or years may see you in a similar position.
Best thing is to save as much as possible when ttc and pregnant so you have a cushion to fallback on if things don't quite go to plan financially. Work, them keeping you on is no reason to think you owe them the earth. Remember they'd replace you pretty quick if you left.
If you feel ready to start ttc have a word with dp. If he's on board then go for it.

Thank you for your lovely and kind replies. DP is in the same mindset as me. He would love another but also concerned that the finances would be a strain. I feel frustrated that I care so much about what my work would think. I know I'm totally replaceable and they wouldn't bat an eyelid if they needed to let me go. I have a lot of thinking to do and you are right in advising me to save with ttc or otherwise!

No advice I’m afraid but following as in similar position.

New role at work, DS almost 4 and weighing up the liberation of no nursery fees vs the urge we seem to have to have a second.

@Caffeineandcarbs its so hard isn't it. I would love another baby but I just wish it was an easy decision!

Maybe the question isn't "should I have another baby?" What about if the question was "how many children do I see to make our family complete?"

Just a thought - if you definitely want a second baby at some point, it’s a case of do you want to take the financial hit now, and have the kids 5/6 years apart, or take the hit later? And have a bigger gap. If you’re set on having more than one child you have to accept a change in finances at some point, I suppose if you do it now, you can look forward to knowing you’re “done” having kids and a more stable financial future in 4 years or so when the second baby is in school and no nursery fees. Otherwise you’ll always be looking at ttc and thinking “now?” “Maybe next year?” Etc etc. Might be even harder to do when you’re both 5 years down the line and looking at smp, nursery fees etc and maybe have a bigger mortgage after moving, nicer cars and a certain lifestyle and having to decide when to give that up for a good chunk of time.
Also, fertility isn’t a given, it can take days or years to conceive, that’s something to bear in mind too.

Just to give perspective... we were in a similar position. I always put work ahead, never the right time, worried about money and nursery fees. We will have a 8 year age gap by the time baby comes. We will have more money as such and have done stuff on the house that we have wanted to but I’m done paying nursery fees and now need to do that again... but it’s only for 2 years until they get into school so not long.
I always put it off for work and in several
Jobs realised that you are always replaceable and to not put your life on hold for work.

I’d wait a few months and maybe save a little, enjoy your extra cash and then try. Don’t put your life on hold as jobs come and go and I think this year it’s made everyone realise that life can change rapidly! Good luck

Thank you all for your perspective. It has really helped my thinking.
I'm definitely coming round to accepting that at my job I'm totally replaceable.

I'm going to save like mad for the next few months and try and get my savings up and then review.

Thanks again xx