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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Unplanned 3rd pregnancy, hand hold please

38 replies

FreakingOut1 · 28/01/2021 16:10

I just need people to talk to please. I'm sorry if anything I say is upsetting, I appreciate there are so many people struggling to conceive so I'm not taking anything for granted in anything I say here.

I have two DC aged 3 and 13months. Husband firmly happy with two right now, not ruled out another but 99% certain he is set. We've had sex twice (I know..) in the past 3 months both using condoms. My periods haven't returned as I am still breastfeeding dc2. I have felt really odd past three weeks or so and have done now the third test and I am pregnant. I can't believe it. I feel sick, happy, terrified, I have no idea how to tell dh.
We have a three bed, so one child in each atm, no huge sums of money to extend and I really don't want to move. Financially we can afford childcare for another albeit it will take a significant chunk of our disposal income. I am due back to work in five weeks. I was off sick for the last four months of my last pregnancy so I've been off for 18months to go back and say I'm pregnant again... I am very worried about this. I feel ashamed, confused, I don't know what to do. I don't want to have a termination I know that, but I I have no idea where to start. I feel so alone right now with this in my head. Anyone been in this position?

OP posts:
Original poster
FreakingOut1 · 30/01/2021 16:58

@tigerlily20 gosh that sounds really difficult. I hope you manage to think it through for yourself and find the strength to speak to your partner.

OP posts:
tigerlily20 · 30/01/2021 17:29

I'll talk to him soon, feel a bit sick at the thought of it though... any progress your side? How do you feel about everything?

Original poster
FreakingOut1 · 30/01/2021 17:46

No, still nothing said here, he came back in and I made the kids tea and I have gone for a bath. I couldn't bear it tbh. Kids baths next and then see what happens.

How are you feeling physically?

OP posts:
tigerlily20 · 30/01/2021 18:08

I feel for you, I hate an atmosphere. I haven't really had any symptoms yet, I think it's too early... feel a bit tired but nothing compared to my other pregnancies... how about you?

Cmini · 30/01/2021 19:46

I was where you are now back in August. Slightly different in that our DC are 5 and 8 but DH definitely didn't want more and at 41 I'd accepted we were done. My career was just starting to get going again. BFP came as a complete shock and I was shaking when I told DH. There was no way I was terminating and made this clear from the start. He was quiet for a day or so but I think he was just processing it all. Since then he's been completely on board. I'm now 31 weeks and due in April. He may just need time.

tigerlily20 · 31/01/2021 10:29

How are things today?

Teakind · 31/01/2021 16:42

@FreakingOut1 hi OP, just checking in to see how you are doing.

Original poster
FreakingOut1 · 31/01/2021 17:14

Hi all, thanks for checking in. I'm doing much better today. When the kids went to bed last night I sat down with DH. He straight away started a rant about how men get backed into a corner and I may as well tell him what I had chosen for us to do as he won't have a say... He was very defensive and very angry. I just responded by saying regardless of what happened now I found his attitude towards me (ignoring me) almost unforgiveable as I had been in bits all day but having to put a brave face on for the kids. I understood he was upset and wanted to wait for when the kids went tk sleep but he coukdve atleast given me a hug. Anyway, He apologised profusely and after lots and lots of talking, it came down to the panic, like me, that he didn't think we could manage with three. We went through the logistics, the bunk beds (he has been previously very against the kids sharing rooms), the car, money etc etc and by the early hours and alot of tears (both of us) he had calmed down alot and said to phone the doc Monday and see where we are, then we will sit down again and make sure we are both on the same page. He said emphatically that if we have this baby we need a more permanent fix in place going forward (the snip or something) which I do agree with.
I am feeling alot more optimistic now. I just hope the baby is OK. I still can't stop worrying about telling work, the alcohol I have drank over Christmas, etc but if I have DH on my side we may be alright.

I hope others in my position are also still managing. This is a crazy shock to go through

OP posts:
tigerlily20 · 31/01/2021 18:11

I'm sure baby will be fine!! Congratulations and good luck with everything!

Teakind · 31/01/2021 18:30

I'm so glad he apologised for his behaviour towards you and is starting to calm down a bit. It must be such a shock for both of you. Sounds like you had a really good chat.

I hope the midwife can refer you for an early scan tomorrow so you have a better picture of what is going on. Are you feeling a bit better now?

Original poster
FreakingOut1 · 31/01/2021 19:17

Thank you both Smile yes I am feeling better. I am wondering if it is the baby I can feel but that might be wishful thinking that I've skipped the dreadful morning sickness Grin I'm going to ask for a scan, but I can't see how they can not do one as I literally don't know if I'm 14 weeks or 4.
Once I know timescales I can atleast get my head around a few things. God knows what I say to my manager if and when the time comes

OP posts:
Babydust13 · 01/02/2021 20:16

Hi I hope you're ok? Did you manage to get an appointment today? Congratulations on your news

motherofdinosau · 01/02/2021 20:50

Have been thinking of you op hope you are feeling a bit more rested and clear headed xxx

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