Baby Blues? 😔 Missing DH.

[MCR2021]

I had DD by emergency C section after 2 failed inductions after developing preeclampsia the day before- this was nearly 2 weeks ago.
I had a couple of days of what I assumed were ‘baby blues’.. day 3 and 5 if I remember correctly...
Again, I feel so down this evening.. 12 days postpartum. It seems to be the evenings it hits me.
Don’t get me wrong I love my new little girl so so much. I love being her mummy.
But I just feel like I am suddenly having a little freak out... ‘mourning’ my old life and freedom. I also miss my husband so so much (we have spent every second of the last 12 days together) but we have been so wrapped up with LO it’s just like we are coexisting rather than a married couple.
I feel disappointed with myself even writing this. Do these feelings get better?

I think it’s normal, it’s a massive adjustment. Trust me, it gets better

I’m due my third soon and life has changed dramatically but for me, my children have enriched it beyond what I could imagine! It’s a HUGE shock to the system, you wish you could just walk out the door & go to the bloody shop without it being a mission. It won’t stay like that for very long.

Take care of yourself & have a good cry

Congrats on baby girl. I think its normal for your relationship to take a back seat when a new baby comes along. She's your sole focus and its very hard to connect with hubby in different ways other than over this wee tiny person whos now the nost important thing to you both. However, this doesnt last forever you'll get into a routine and having her around will become your new normal then you'll be able to start to doing more together instead of coexisting, but it takes time. As for the baby blues all normal. But you need to be careful its not more than baby blues and that its not postpartum depression. I know I defo had baby blues after my first was born and now due to covid my mental health has taken a hit like alot of people so im panicking even now about how i'll be mentally when baby comes. Speak to your hubby and midwife, share your concerns and feelings. At just 12 days PP hormones are still raging dont think you arnt alone. Good luck!

I remember these feelings well. A whole new chapter has started in your life, and although you've probably done your best to prepare, everything seems different to how you imagined? I remember how I felt. I had a really terrible first birth, and I only had DH for support. We worked as a team, but we were just knackered! It does get better.
I take my hat off to you for bringing a baby into the world during the pandemic. I can't begin to imagine how brave you have to be to do that! Take one day at a time, and celebrate the little things when they happen. For example, I used to look forward to having a shower with some posh shower gel. I just to give myself a pat on the back for getting myself dressed on a morning (although the days and nights morphed together after a while.) Someone gave me a copy of The Unmumsy Mum book and I read it (bit by bit..after I'd got over the paranoia of being given a book with this particular title) and it made me laugh and cry in equal measure.
I think the important message is, you are going to be ok, I can't promise you that you'll be squealing with happiness every hour of everyday (regardless of how lovely your baby is and how smitten you are) but I can assure you that for every little mountain you have to climb, the rewards are lovely and so worth all of the difficult bits.

Oh, and keep talking about how you are feeling. Get on the phone to your midwife for a chat. I found talking really helpful.

The 1st is always hard because it's such a big change to your life. You lose your freedom and intimacy with partner is now 2nd. As they get older and in to routines you can start clawing back little bits of what you miss. Then you'll have another lol

Missing dh was the norm for me pre babies as he's military anyway and away A LOT. I pretty much lost all my friends as none of them had kids and I couldn't just go out whenever I wanted with dh away. My world revolves around the kids nowadays and tbh I wouldn't change a thing. Dh finishes his full service term in 5 years so it'll be weird having him around so much more lol. I do miss the respite that school gave me right now.

Thank you for your replies everyone.
Fortunately I think it was just baby blues for those couple of evenings.
I haven’t felt like it since, I do however slightly dread the evenings though as I know I am in for not much sleep in the night and that it’s quite lonely. However, once I’m in the swing of the night feeds and changing I’m fine and it’s not that bad, it’s more the thought of it.. if that make sense?