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Original poster

Help! Breast pump - who makes more sense? Me or DH?

51 replies

cervixissues · 27/01/2021 17:35

I am a first time mum and planning to breast feed and pump (all being well!).

I have said to my DH we should get a pump before the baby is born (the baby is arriving in a couple weeks or so). As far as I am aware, most people get the pump beforehand and for the following reasons:

Sterilise the equipment ready to use
Figure out how the pump works before you need it (and not try to do so while exhausted whilst getting to grips with a newborn)
Have it ready to go for when we get home from hospital
Check it isn't faulty

However my DH said let's see how things go in case we end up just using formula/not needing it and we can get it on Amazon Prime for if necessary. He believes I am being overly cautious and should go with the flow with it.

Just wondering what you did / would advise! x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Dinosauraddict · 28/01/2021 06:38

I would wait until baby is born too. We had feeding problems with DS (inc tongue tie for him, low milk supply for me as I lost too much blood during birth) so that altered plans. We had to mixed feed rather than EBF, and were in hospital for a while after birth. They gave us a few different pumps to try in hospital and only one worked for me with a low supply - so we bought that one. It definitely wouldn't have been the one I would've bought in advance.

fastwigglylines · 28/01/2021 06:43

Why do you plan to pump? Why do you think you need to?

I'm just asking as I thought pumps were for times when you had to be away from your baby for long periods of time eg going back to work, but surely you're not planning on going to work immediately your baby is born?

And I see others planned on pumping straight away. But why do you need to pump when you can just BF?

Doesn't it risk inteferring with your body and baby getting in sync?

CMAYF11 · 28/01/2021 07:48

@fastwigglylines for me it's so my partner can share the feeding and it's not on relying on me to be there all the time. If I want to go for a walk or need to go to an appointment.
It's good for mum to have a break sometimes as it can feel quite overwhelming having all the feeling responsibility on one person

ThanksItHasPockets · 28/01/2021 08:02

I think those are the reasons why most women pump, but they won't be relevant for the first six weeks or so.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/01/2021 08:06

I got everything once the baby was here. I just figured I'd see what happened. Yes I wanted to BF but was aware it doesn't always work out.

I'd do your research on exactly what you want but I'm voting DH here.

Parkandride · 28/01/2021 09:19

Just hijacking with a question, I was eyeing up the haakaa- so does it work as a manual pump or just catch letdown?

DappledThings · 28/01/2021 09:30

I wouldn't get one yet. I got one when DC1 was a week or so old and started building up a supply for me to go to a day long event when he was 5 months old. With DC2 I had no such plans and couldn't be arsed getting her to take a bottle and all that faff.

You might end up not wanting to express at all and it's an expensive bit of kit.

SirVixofVixHall · 28/01/2021 09:39

I did get a pump, but only used it a handful of times, when I had was engorged, and my baby couldn’t latch, a blocked duct, and when my baby went on a nursing strike for a weekend due to sore ears and throat. You may well not need one early on at all normally, but there is a possibility of needing to slightly soften your breast for your baby to be able to latch on, if you get very engorged when your supply first comes in, you might need one later if you want your baby to take a bottle of expressed milk for some reason. So I think it is handy to have one ready, as being very engorged is painful and personally I never managed to hand express.

Superscientist · 28/01/2021 09:40

It is between the two. It does catch the letdown but when it is suctioned on it also acts like a pump. You don't have to actively pump it like a manual pump but the suction action continues to stimulate the breast beyond initial letdown period.

Just to throw another product out there, you can also get collection shells which just pop in your bra and they only collect letdown and don't stimulate supply. I've not personally used them but I believe they are good if you have a strong letdown but at risk of oversupply if you pump.

In terms of expressing, I started at 3 weeks under the advice of my midwife as I need to be able get more sleep. I expressed enough for one bottle in the morning so I could stay in bed a bit longer. For me this worked better than my partner taking a feed in the night especially as night feeds help stimulate supply and you should express at around the same time as the bottle was given and expressing in the night would defeat the purpose of expressing.

Original poster

cervixissues · 28/01/2021 10:27

Thank you all so much for your help, it is so useful hearing everyone's experiences!

I have bought a Haaka to use too as it seems super handy!

We'll take a look at all your advice and see what seems best for us. At the moment waiting until we are home will make most sense.

All being well, we do want to express and breastfeed (even if not right away) so we can "share duties" and make things as easy as possible.

@CMAYF11 haha! Have you decided which route you would like to go down? I am overly cautious and like to have as many things ticked off as possible when planning so I don't have to think about them later on, puts my mind at ease

@fastwigglylines the NHS website has these reasons as to why someone would pump as well as breast feed, which are also the reasons we would choose to:

your breasts feel uncomfortably full (engorged)
your baby is not able to latch or suck well, but you still want to give them breast milk
your partner is going to help with feeding your baby
you want to boost your milk supply

www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/expressing-breast-milk/

The NHS website also mentions if you are going back to work/ away from the baby, but that wouldn't be relevant for our situation.

OP posts:

ThanksItHasPockets · 28/01/2021 10:30

Sounds like you are well-prepared, OP. Good luck.

Please can I also add that combination feeding, i.e. breast milk and formula, is a very valid choice which works very well for many families. There is often a conspiracy of silence around it as a feeding option from the NHS and HCP because the received wisdom is that it will be a slippery slope away from breastfeeding but it does not have to be.

Original poster

cervixissues · 28/01/2021 10:34

@ThanksItHasPockets Good point! Do you have any tips for combination feeding?

OP posts:

DappledThings · 28/01/2021 11:14

All being well, we do want to express and breastfeed (even if not right away) so we can "share duties" and make things as easy as possible
Absolutely might work for you and lots of people do. Just as an alternative view I didn't find expressing helped me at all. It was just an extra thing to have to do plus all the storing, defrosting, sterilising bottles and the hassle of getting a bottle accepted at all. The feeding in the night wasn't a big deal, it was the resettling which DH could do after I'd fed. That plus me doing a first thing in the morning feed then DH taking him so I could get a couple more hours sleep at weekends were the things that made a massive difference.

LetMeOut2021 · 28/01/2021 11:16

I had a pump ready. It’s up to you OP. You’ll be the one feeding.

LetMeOut2021 · 28/01/2021 11:17

@DappledThings

All being well, we do want to express and breastfeed (even if not right away) so we can "share duties" and make things as easy as possible Absolutely might work for you and lots of people do. Just as an alternative view I didn't find expressing helped me at all. It was just an extra thing to have to do plus all the storing, defrosting, sterilising bottles and the hassle of getting a bottle accepted at all. The feeding in the night wasn't a big deal, it was the resettling which DH could do after I'd fed. That plus me doing a first thing in the morning feed then DH taking him so I could get a couple more hours sleep at weekends were the things that made a massive difference.

I found this too. All the sterilising and faff for one feed just wasn’t worth it! I mastered feeding lying down instead.

wimbler · 28/01/2021 11:20

personally I would wait, and did wait with my first. a good pump can be £100+ and no guarantee that you will want/need one. I had every intention of breast feeding and thankfully it worked out for me. I bought a pump when she was a week old. With amazon prime/john lewis click and collect, you can have it the next day if needed. if you have trouble feeding in the hospital, they will have ones you can use anyway.

Like other PP I do recommend getting a haakaa. they're brilliant.

DappledThings · 28/01/2021 11:21

I mastered feeding lying down instead
Game changer!

Lalapurple · 28/01/2021 11:24

I wouldn't get one now and see how breastfeeding goes- unless you know you will need to pump because you will be separate from your baby in the first few weeks or you are going back to work after a few weeks. If you have initial problems the hospital should be able to lend you one- often the ones you buy commercially are not as good as a hospital grade pump if you do have problems.

I never used a pump for breastfeeding- I hated the feeling of expressing milk and it wasn't necessary.

It's up to you- and if it makes you feel more confident go for it, but personally I'm with your husband.

The other option for expressing is hand expressing (some women actually get more milk this way than with a pump) or you could get a Haakaa pump (or similar non branded one) which catches milk.

DisgruntledPelican · 28/01/2021 11:29

Another vote for getting a Haakaa or something low-effort that collects the “spare” milk from the other boob.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 28/01/2021 11:30

I used a pump for engorged breast and to clear a milk duct. I think it kept mastitis at bay.

When a blocked duct clears it’s impressive and the pain goes Immediately.

I didn’t have a pump I had to wait a for delivery which was so painful. I’d recommend getting one before you need it. The Medula was fantastic. I tried a Tommy tippee manual one and it was useless. The electric medula one was brilliant.

Lalapurple · 28/01/2021 11:33

Sorry I replied without seeing your later post - I really would be cautious about expressing to "share duties".
Expressing is hard work - so the net amount of a break a women will get from expressing and then your partner feeding the baby from a bottle will often be negative or nil. It does work for some people but just bare than in mind.
If breastfeeding works out for you its much much easier to just feed the baby from your breast than faff around expressing with a sterile pump.

I recommend feeding lying down as something to try too- I found it worked better after a few weeks.

Forestdweller11 · 28/01/2021 11:55

I see you've got a mixed response. Personally I would shy away from a breast pump until you are established and with prime you'll get it delivered quick.

My experience is that in hospital I was almost immediately after birth (probably about 6 hours) given a breast pump to use (in hindsight I'd have queried it,but as a ftm I didn't have a clue). It didn't work. It was the worst thing and caused immense issues with supply. I should have researched better and also found a breast feeding advisor before I gave birth. The amount of mothers in our small town breastfeeding clinic was quite mind-blowing (probably down to the hospital's policy!). It's not a given that it's 'easy'. Pumping never did work for me and breast feeding was problematic for the 12 months or so I did. And I'm sure it was the breast pump being used so soon rather than letting nature take its course. I think it mixed up my hormone response and stressed me out.
If you have it in the house you might be tempted to give it a go in the early days just to get things moving when really you should be letting your hormones do the job.

I was totally against bottle feeding and in the end we did both. I wish I'd paid more attention to the fed is best mantra!

I think what I'm saying is hangfire. They aren't complicated to use. The sterilising is easy. And you can get quick delivery.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/01/2021 13:22

Yeh I also agree sharing duties when it involves expressing isn’t helpful to the mother. Mix feeding was good for us after 6 wks of breastfeeding with my first- was still mainly breastfed but it helped give me a break.

RealisticSketch · 28/01/2021 13:39

It's so personal, no two experiences are the same. I had difficulty getting dc1 to latch on the first few days, I was in hospital and the midwives were brilliant at trying to help us get the hang of it... But without the hospital pump on hand I wouldn't have been able to get the colostrum into him and for me it massively reduced stress and pressure, bought us time to find our feet.
I think if there is one thing this thread has shown it's that there isn't a right or wrong answer and the start of your breast feeding journey could get off on all kinds of different footings and ultimately you, baby and your domestic situation will lead you one way or another, none of which will be known until you can look back on it.
Suppose if you have it in the house it won't do any harm, if you don't you'll manage but may or may not wish you had it. It's one less thing to do when baby arrives.

MaverickDanger · 28/01/2021 13:48

YY to the Haakaa. I was given a Tommee Tippee pump & have relegated it since getting the Haakaa.

I tend to get about 8-10oz across a couple of feeds, so DH uses that to feed DS late at night so I can sleep.

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