Advice

[SundanceMaggie]

Hello everyone, I am 8 weeks pregnant and boy have I had quite a journey to get here. Sadly, this pregnancy was unplanned and my partner has given me the ultimatum for us not to continue our relationship unless I have an abortion. I can’t terminate the pregnancy as I’ve always wanted to be a mum and it’s not something I favour tbh. He has said he will support the baby but this kind of emotional blackmail is killing me and making me very anxious. It will be hard being alone with a baby but I think the alternative will kill me psychologically. I am educated and have a career, but Covid has knocked me a little.

Could I have some inspirational stories from any of you ladies that have had to stick to your guns and essentially do all this alone? I just need some reassurance until I start telling family once I hit three months. Thanks all so much

Not been in your position op but congratulations and if your heart and head are telling you to go for it then do it! Dp is being very unfair and I personally would rather leave him it won't work out if you aborted the baby anyway you'd hate him for it. Good luck but plenty of mums do it alone you'll be fine 🙂

Its strange your partner is willing to support baby if you decide to keep it but break up with you. Have you got a good support system otherwise? As in parents, siblings and close friends? Doing it alone is hard but not as hard as what it would be living with youself going through an abortion you didnt want to have. Would your relationship even survive if you terminated and stayed with him?

Definitely the right decision to go it alone. If you did abort, your relationship will never be the same again anyway, I’d never respect my partner again if he pressured me to abort a child I wanted. Plus it takes 2 to make a baby, it’s not like you’ve gone out and chosen to make something without his input.

Have you told anyone? Having someone to support you in these early days would be massively helpful. A support system is something you’ll definitely need to do it alone with a baby. But it’s totally doable, women do it all the time for a variety of reasons, so you won’t be alone.

Good luck, OP :)

Don't think that a relationship will be over just because he says it will unless you do what he wants. But if you have to do it alone then be confident that you will do a cracking job.

My 1st, the dad gave me the same ultimatum, even gave me money for a termination. I told him I was having baby with or without him. He never left, we got married when our eldest was 3.5 years old. We're now expecting number 6 all being well, 10+4wk atm.

Thanks for your message, I think he knows how strongly I feel about him and if he uses this as a bargaining chip he thinks I will do what he wants. You are right though, I would end up resenting him if I went ahead with the termination. A termination never even crossed my mind. I just went with my instincts. It’s just sad how this should be the happiest time in our lives and yet it has this negativity hanging over it all x