Want a baby but terrified of pregnancy.

[MomaBee]

My Partner and I would like to have a second child. Our first child is nearly 4. I had an emergency c section first time around and I’ve never really got over it, may sound silly because both me and little one came out with no complications but ever since I have been extremely sensitive to anything involving injuries/cuts/sight of blood, programmes on TV that show any surgery etc etc. I would have an elective section if I had a second baby but how do I deal with this fear I have built up? I feel like it’s just got bigger and bigger and that if I got pregnant I could spend 9 months under a lot of stress and worry which wouldn’t be good for the baby.

I also had terrible sickness during first pregnancy where I was pretty much in bed for 4 months, I think that combined with my fear of surgery is overwhelming.

Does anyone have any suggestions for support groups or ways to overcome these fears. Are there any help lines which offer advice to pregnant or planning to conceive mums? Or anything that anybody can suggest that may help.

Thanks for reading

Hi op, I'm feeling very similar. My ds was born last March by Emergency c section and then of course lovkdown too... been really hard but also amazing and I'm also possibly suffering with a bit of pnd. I really want to give my son a sibling but as I'm almost 32 would have to be in the next couple of years and I too am petrified. My biggest fear when having ds was ending up with a c section! The way I'm trying to see it now if I had a planned section next time (recommend due to complications) it can't be anything like as bad as Emergency c section and at least can mentally prepare for it.

Hi Jesskir89, sorry to hear you are going through similar. I feel the same, I’d love to give my little one a sibling, it’s not something I can sacrifice but not sure how to get through it either. You are right that a planned section wouldn’t be as bad, I assume it would be easier to recover from physically too. Even just talking about this now is giving me nerves in the pit of my stomach. Hope we find a way through it.

I had similar concerns following an emcs, but not the sickness to contend with. It took a while to start trying and then when we did it took a long time to fall pregnant so those thoughts went to the back of my mind. However they resurfaced at my booking appointment and I was very overwhelmed and upset. What I can say is the staff I encountered were amazing and fast tracked my planned c section confirmation- as I was particularly worried about being denied one. My husband and I were also given a private tour of the maternity unit including crucially the theatre where I had the emcs. This was massively helpful for us both to deal with the past trauma. I understand this probably wouldn’t happen at the moment. I guess my advice from this would be to know that your midwife team should support you through this and will be used to dealing with it.

Also- a planned CS is wonderful and really incomparable to an emcs. It healed a lot of old wounds for me.

Wow thanks for sharing @daisydaisydoo thats reassuring. Please let me know how you get on op x

I would speak to you GP. Some areas have specialist counselling and support services for women or couple who have experienced trauma around pregnancy and childbirth. Although my first birth wasn't as horrific as some, I was left struggling with the emotional impact, and the service really helped. I would defiantly ask.

@DaisyDaisydoo thank you for sharing your experience, I found it very encouraging. Your comment about healing old wounds is inspiring, that’s a new perspective that I hadn’t thought about. I appreciate you writing thank you

No problem, wishing you all the best

@Equimum thank you for your suggestion, good idea to speak to GP, to be honest I had kind of assumed they would just write me off but I could be completely wrong so I’ll give that a go. Pleased you found some help too