When did it feel real???

[penguin7]

Hi all...
I got my BFP yesterday and I've just woken up and feel overwhelmed again. I'm about 4-5weeks. Funny thing is I kind of felt I was so I don't know why I was so shocked with the result. This was our first attempt at TTC so we are so lucky.
I am a natural worrier and I want to stop this worrying but I do feel so nervous and scared especially this first 12 weeks. I'm worrying what could go wrong.
Also I'm worried about telling work, I feel I have to sooner rather than later as I work in a school nursery.
When did it all start to feel real for you?

Hi OP, didn’t want to read and run. Congratulations! It’s all completely normal to feel like your world’s been tipped upside down!
It took us a long time to conceive both of ours (18months for DS1, just under a year for DS2) and I always assumed that was why I felt so topsy turvy after the BFP because we’d wanted it for SOO long. I think there’s so much stigma around it being this amazing, exciting moment.. no one really talks about all the uncertainty and anxiety that comes with it too.
The short answer, there is no cure to the worry (sorry!) DS1 is 3 and I’m 28 weeks pregnant with DS2, I just worry about different things! I’ve barely given DS2 a thought this time around as I’m so preoccupied with DS1, WFH and general life we haven’t even picked a name yet! 🙈😅
Tell work when you are ready too. I work in the NHS so told work quite early on both times due to heavy work and also potential risks. You know how heavy/risky your job is, so just go with it and see how you feel. I think you have to tell them around the 20 week mark for mat leave etc to be sorted.
Everyone feels the ‘realness’ at different stages. Just try and relax and take care of yourself as best you can 😊 x

Hi @penguin7 congratulations that’s so exciting.

I don’t think you’ll stop worrying for a long while yet, I started to relax when I could feel them everyday from say 20 weeks. I do feel more chilled second time round but I’m still checking for blood multiple times a day so I’m not THAT chilled.

It’s an exciting time 🥳

I’m 39 weeks and still doesn’t feel 100% real. Sounds stupid but I still can’t believe there’s actually a baby in there. I’m huge and baby often likes to stick various limbs out of my stomach but I still find it hard.

Hi @penguin7 I too fell
Pregnant the first month. I think because you expect it to take ages you don’t feel prepared as such and presume oh it will be a few months, I have time, it’s not going to be something to deal with now.

When it happens suddenly all these emotions your like.. what!? I felt the same I had psyched myself up for it to be like late next year but guess not.

I worry so I had a private scan at 6 weeks and will again at around 10 weeks. It does help relieve the worry.
I also work in a school and will be holding off to tell them until 12+ weeks. We all know headteachers can be funny ones so I don’t want extra stress just encase.

I’m 29 weeks, feel huge, struggling to sleep, and it still doesn’t feel real to me! Still find it hard to believe that I should have a baby in around 2 months!

For me, and as a PP said, the worries don’t necessarily go away but they do change. For the first 15 weeks, I was terrified I would miscarry, then I was terrified something else would go wrong, then worried he would be really premature, and so on. The other day, he didn’t move at all (until I had Haribo) and he’s usually a constant kicker / shuffler, and that was scary. So there is a chance you will always be worrying throughout the pregnancy, but the type of fears and intensity of those fears change. Feeling him move around everyday is highly reassuring, so until that happens, it’s completely normal to constantly worry.

And congratulations!!

When she was born! Her dad still laughs at me because my first words where Oh my god we've got a baby.
Obviously I wasn't expecting a puppy but I was still shocked to be handed a tiny human.

It felt real after the 20w scan which was also the time i felt her move properly daily and i stopped worrying about every little thing!

From the moment I saw the line in my head it was real

From the 12 week scan I was comfortable accepting it was real

Up until even after baby was born I was still reminding myself it really was real

I think when you first get the BFP it's a shock and an overwhelming rush of feelings but it quickly feels almost like an anticlimax as in your head your whole world has just changed yet nobody else is any the wiser! And you expect to start 'feeling pregnant' straight away but often it's still a few weeks till any symptoms.

For me it didn't start to feel real until the first scan. I was so so anxious beforehand and almost expected there to be nothing there so instead of getting teary when I first saw baby I just felt this overwhelming rush of relief more than anything. It felt realer still when we started telling close friends and family (DH and I decided not to tell anyone til 12 weeks).

Now I'm in the long waiting period between 12 and 20 weeks it's stopped feeling real again lol. Probably because I still don't have much of a bump and it's still early to feel movements to it just feels like a long waiting game. I haven't told less close friends or colleagues yet, will probably do so after 20 week scan. I think the REAL realness won't start till labour and beyond 😂

This was definitely me when I got my positive! I’m suchhhh a worrier and we also fell pregnant first try - like someone else said you don’t get time to get your head around it!
Im 38 weeks now and still doesn’t feel 100% real even with him jabbing my sides every day. But for me it felt much more real when we found out baby was a boy. I know not everyone wants to find out but it meant for me I could visualise I little bit more of what my future with this little baby could be like, and we could start choosing a name for our little man.
I told my manager almost straight away at 4/5 weeks, I decided it would make me feel a lot better about work as she wouldn’t assign me to any tasks that could be a risk and easier to get time off for appointments. Told everyone else there at 12/13 weeks 😊 but do what feels right for you.
Be kind to yourself, you’ve not known that long! I’ve weirdly become more accepting about some things just being out of my control since getting my BFP - hopefully it’s the same for you! X

17 weeks and still not totally convinced 🙈 I think maybe finding out the sex at the 20 week scan might convince me, but judging by some PP replies maybe not!!

My husband has already said he's excited but I just can't relax yet. We had a mc at 9wk in July after seeing the hb on a private scan, I am 10+1wk atm and so far so good but still so much worry. If all is well at my scan I think that's when it'll feel real and I can get excited about it.

Congrats and good luck

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's lovely reading everyone's experience and I will definitely be looking back at this thread to calm me.

I think I will tell my work in a couple of weeks. I just think that may ease some of my anxiety about tasks at work and going for appointments etc.

I do need to learn to relax more and start thinking 'well it's happening whether I worry or not' and I want to enjoy the news and enjoy the experience. There have been times today where I have stopped and thought how blessed we've been for it to happen first time and how much we have talked about and wanted this to happen.