Wishing I was not pregnant

[Hops19356ahr]

I feel awful for saying this, but I wish I was not pregnant. I am 7 weeks away from due date, but having a baby in a lockdown, a year after the first lockdown is giving me such anxiety.
I don't want to do it all alone. I've done pregnancy alone and it's been so rubbish that I never want to be pregnant again. I've never felt so lonely before.
The thought of bringing a child into this world is horrifying to me.
Am I awful or is anyone else due in 2021 and feeling the same?

I'm sure this is a really anxious time for you! The good thing is 7 weeks from now we should be towards the end of the harshest restrictions.

You are also allowed to form a support bubble as you have a baby under 1 so you can have lots of visits and even overnight stays with that household. Have you thought about who you would pick? A sister, your mum or a close friend maybe?
Even being able to go out for walks now with the pram a friend will be allowed but weren't last time, try to make the most of that. After getting into a routine with the baby it will be good for you both to get out on a walk with someone other than your partner and have a bit of freedom and normality.

Lots of us are finding it very hard to see the end right now but I think that is because it is January, its cold dark & miserable and we still have a few months stretched out in front of us. I think overall being due in March 21 will be better than 20 at least. It won't be long after baby comes that things will start to look up. x

I am hoping that the world is going to be different again in 7 weeks. We are in a peak of a covid wave again and it will get better. Remember how may felt better then March? And then the summer was better still?

Do you have a partner to be with you? Most hospitals now will let the partner be there for most of crucial part of labour.

@luxxlisbon thank you.
I just feel like due to having done my entire pregnancy over the course of this pandemic, that I have lost the magic of being pregnant. I'm full of anxiety and not looking forward to it at all.
I would love to be able to bubble with someone close to me but there isn't anyone who I could bubble with at the moment. Both families are either highly exposed through being in the medical field, or simply ignoring the rules and restrictions, which is terrible, but then fully expecting me to let them near my newborn baby too. It's all rather upsetting.
@welshladywhois40 I do have a partner who can be there for labour, and I am thankful for that at least.