NHS birth preferences or write your own?

[JustAnotherUserinParadise]

Hi,
We've been doing the positive birth company (PBC) course and she makes quite a big deal of "writing your birth plan". We've had lots of ideas and discussions about it all, and so yesterday went to fill in the "birth preferences" section in my green notes.
It doesn't really seem to match up with the PBC version of a plan though? There is no space to write about the environment or what you want to happen if you have a C section...
Can we write our own out on a separate sheet or have I misunderstood somehow?

It should get covered at your 34 wk appointment. I'm full term and no one has gone over mine at all. I remember last the midwife booked a double appointment for me and told me my partner could come if I wanted. Not very impressed this time round, covid or not.

@Andthenanothercupoftea if you can get your hands on a hypnobirthing course (best value seems to be The Positive Birth Company) then they are extremely educating. I also joined a few fb groups, found Positive Births especially helpful, love reading all the different experiences and scenarios women go through!

Hey. Just thought I’d say I’m doing the Positive Birth Company course too they have their own template you can download and fill in. I just used that one. You’ve got nothing to lose by filling it out.

Mine really only had two point:

a) if it's going badly please would you go early for c-section (an underlying issue meant that was a reasonable request, and was accepted as such - but not needed on the day)
b) if I need a line sited, please put it above the articulation of the wrist - i do not want movement limited just as I'm meeting a slippery newborn (used as a teaching point by senior doctor to a couple of lurking students, but again not needed on the day)

I did mine from the nhs website template. To my astonishment they read it and annotated it on the day and stuck it into my notes! Nothing did end up going to plan but there you go...

I especially remember them checking for the vitamin k consent. I was a bit out of it at the time!

@BeaKind yes I have seen theirs - it looks good.
@FudgeSundae I downloaded the NHS one but it's 11 pages long!! I can hardly be bothered to read it myself lol!

I wrote one... and then had a planned c section. Write one but don't have you heart set on it! Tell them the basics. I made a playlist for during the csection and we all chatted about the different songs that came on, it was actually such a lovely experience!

@ivfbabymomma1 tbh if I have a C section I'm not too fussed about anything really... except delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin (with DH if I'm unconscious). I don't think I'll care about beign relaxed at that point...

Fair enough! I think for me it's because I had a few weeks notice, and it wasn't an emergency. Best of luck with the birth!

I wrote one and actually used the NCT template (although not an NCT kind of person) as it has all the options listed - I didn’t have a clue what options were available so it just made me feel more prepared. I never eve mb printed it off BUT I’m glad I took the time to research the bits I didn’t understand to think about them beforehand so I say go for it!

@JustAnotherUserinParadise as a heads up, if you have an emcs they don't usually do delayed clamping and they don't always bring the baby to you or partner for skin to skin. It was an hour before my dd was brought over (given to dh as I was in and out of consciousness) I didn't get offered skin to skin whatsoever at any point when I'd given birth, so push for it.

@swiftt8919 Ah thanks - that's good to know.

I saw my midwife yesterday and she went through what I'd written on the NHS one (in pencil!) and she said they do lots of the things I'd said as standard - eg delayed cord clamping, skin to skin, no episiotomy unless absolutely necessary etc

I'm leaning towards writing some bullet points (one side of A4 max) and putting the hypermobility bit at the top! but otherwise I'll just go with the flow!

Birth plan is more for your own peace of mind so you can feel in control when in actual fact what will happen will happen and the midwives won't care about what's written down they will just want to get your baby out as quickly and as safely as possible

With DD2 I wrote two. One vaginal birth and one emcs. I had to discuss mine with my consultant and PMA midwife as I wanted things outside of guidelines. I used these icons and it was read and followed.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.pinterandmartin.com/amp/vbp

I think birth plans on the whole are something to occupy new mums time with before the birth but in reality the last thing a midwife wants when she's trying to deliver a baby is a piece of paper flapping about in her way. Write it out so you know what you want but most importantly, make sure your birth partner knows what you want so they can push for it at the time, but also expect that anything could happen.

I think you should read up on things such as pain relief and what can happen and discuss this with your husband/partner but I honestly don’t see the point in writing an elaborate “plan” detailing your fantasy birth. Of the people I know who did this and things didn’t follow what they had detailed they ended up with issues afterwards, almost having to come to terms with not getting this magical experience they had written about. It caused them a lot of upset when they realised actually very little attention (if any) is given to their 3 page laminated plan and that when push comes to shove you don’t have much choice when it’s a case of getting the baby out alive and well.

Understand what might happen and have an open mind. The midwife will ask for consent to do anything anyway and they ask about things like “does dad want to cut the cord” at the time, there’s no need to write things like this down, midwives really don’t have time to be reading it anyway. I’ve had 2 fantastic births taking this approach, I didn’t write anything down.

Write things down but please remember to be flexible and not be too invested in "the perfect birth experience". The only thing that truly matters is a safe delivery and that's what health professionals are trained to do, it's not that they deliberately want to upset you but too many women end up feeling upset that things didn't go to plan when in reality they had no choice but do an assisted delivery, or turn the lights up - yes my midwife friend had a formal complaint sent about her because she used a lamp during the birth so she could see properly, the mother wanted candles and low lighting! I'm not being dismissive of thinking about it btw, just that it needs to be a wish list if possible rather than firm plan, and I did get my drug free natural birth I planned.

I wrote quite a detailed one, I did hypnobirthing and want minimal intervention and fuss. The midwife read it on the way up
In the lift ( I was already in very established labour) and she was brilliant. They followed it completely and I felt completely supported and understood. This was NHS and I have nothing but praise for the care we received. I guess it depends on the midwife but if you have one like mine it’s 100 percent worth writing a good one.