Does anyone's partner smoke? Worried

[emily372]

Hi I'm currently 8+7 and I live with my boyfriend in a studio flat. He never smokes next to me but when I go to sleep around 10pm, he shuts the bedroom door and has a couple roll ups with weed in the living room. I don't smell the smoke but I'm worried I'm breathing it in without realising as second hand smoke. I'm thinking about asking him to go outside or lean out the window..aibu? I don't want to come across as paranoid. Anyone else experienced this or have any advice?

You should try to get him into the habit of smoking outside, before the baby comes.

If you can't smell it you are no risk.

But I find it wholly improbably that you could nit smell it in the sort of indoors space you describe.

Perhaps he's already going outside?

And yes, he needs to get into the habit of going outside and it is entirely reasonable for you to insist. Ideally he should step up,and give up.

It's not just second hand smoke, it's third hand smoke as well. It clings to everything in the room and is harmful even when there's no smoke smell anymore.

I couldn't live with anyone who smoked while I was pregnant or had a baby. It's so selfish.

My DH smokes, literally only started cigarettes again when we had my 12wk scan and found out it was twins.

Drives me absolutely bananas as he doesn't need to smoke as he had quit for over 3 years.

Thankfully he goes and shuts himself in the kitchen with the window open and smokes in there, but I'd much prefer him to stop.

I did, I stopped vaping as soon as I found out I was pregnant and his excuse is it's easy for me as I'm pregnant and have a reason to not smoke/vape 🤨. Man logic there!

A non smoker would be able to smell it, it’s probable because you are used to the smell. Smoking is one thing, weed is another. Do you want midwife or health visitor coming around and the first thing they smell is weed? He may be a low drug user and no harm to your child but professionals can’t tell if he’s a one a day or constantly smoking it and your child will be at risk.

Not scaring you but it’s one thing being single and smoking weed it’s another to do so around and while being sole charge of a baby. If he can stop that would be great and smoke outside for sake of everyone’s health.

Thanks for the replies just now. I've only just moved in with him and I'm so worried about it all. He started using patches a little while back before I moved in but he's just stopped using them now. I think I'm going to speak to him tonight about it all

It's obviously far from ideal but the bigger issue would be when the baby arrives for two reasons. Firstly, as I understand it babies are impacted by simply being exposed to people who have smoked (like handled or cuddled) as the toxins affect them and can raise the risk of SIDS. Secondly, and I'm not assuming he'd do this but it is worth flagging - he can never, ever be in charge of the baby when he has smoked any weed. This heightens the risk of him falling asleep with the baby which is a major, major risk factor. Having a newborn is unbelievably exhausting so even if he thinks he'll be fine, it's just absolutely not even something to allow.

@Bleepers Thanks that's really helpful I didn't know any of that.

@emily372 no problem. I really don't want to sound judgemental as your position sounds tricky but better to manage it now than after the baby arrives because that period is quite insane. Good luck x