How do you all plan to handle visits with baby and covid??

[PFin]

Due early May and I hope to god we wont be in a full lockdown, but obviously COVID will still be a concern for everyone. I know my hubby just plans on letting family etc see baby no matter what, I however am a bit more hesitant. With COVID rife I dont think I want people all around baby. I know this will piss everyone off and I am prepared to tell them tough, but if we arnt in a big lockdown and we can do gatherings of 6 like before I dont think I will still be happy letting everyone round her.
Tho people will think I am just being over the top or awkward (especially since we have broke covid rules in past with both familes, dont judge 🙈) it just feels different , they all had the choice to come together when we shouldnt have whereas a newborn doesnt and im responsible for that. Just wondering what you all plan to do or have done when baby comes? and if you had any issues with family or was everyone quite understanding?

I'm due next week, I will be following the rules. That means friends and family members won't get to meet baby unfortunately, except for my mum who will become my bubble once hubby goes back to work. She is not seeing anyone else. The rules are there for a reason. I don't want baby to catch it, but as ftm I also don't want covid and a newborn - far too much stress!

We're nearly there and once the vaccines have been rolled out, lockdown will be over and this really contagious variant will hopefully be more under control, so everyone can meet baby without risk. The baby won't care who he's met and everyone else will just have to manage.

This is so tough. I plan to bubble with my mum however its caused a stir with hos family. They argue it makes more sense to bubble with his family which is true, they live 5 mins away whereas my mum and dad live 30 mins away. My dad is also still working as partners parents one is retired and other off work for an extended period due to a health issue (fine now tho). Its a mine field, feel like se saying thats it no one is seeing baby but I know i'll want my mum and dad once baby is here and I cant help that! Just do what you feel comfortable with.

I think you will need to let immediate family like both your parents see baby. Trust me it can cause years of problems if you don't make some allowances. Maybe ask them to limit their social bubble in the run up so you feel a little more at ease, not much to ask for to meet baby.
We fell out with my husbands mother & step father when I was pregnant with our twins because of them having a dig at me publicly. They didn't meet our twins until they were 4 years old as a result (we did invite them) and they poisoned all other family members off us to boot so we had barely any contact with that part of the family for years and it was very awkward. On reasonable terms now although dh still holds a bit of resentment for how they behaved.

I'm due in mid Feb and won't be thinking about it until baby is here given how fast things are changing. Given you're not due til May I'd not worry yet either. So much can change between now and then

I'm actually glad for the restrictions. Hated it when people were traipsing in and out of my house when dd was only days old. I was pretty unwell from my birth in retrospect and the house was an absolute tip and I was trying to establish breastfeeding. Will be glad of the excuse to keep pretty much everyone away (although either my MIL or mum will be coming to stay with us for a couple weeks to help out, depending on the situation nearer the time - due beginning of April).

They say: 5 days in bed. 5 days on the bed. 5 days near bed. Sure, that's not always realistic, but it's important for you to rest as much as possible. Don't know what I'll be like this time (hoping not so injured and infected), but will be glad for a little bit more peace this time!!!

@PFin I don't think this is limited to just Covid, I wish I had stood up for myself when dd was born and said no to visitors. You aren't being awkward at all. Plenty new mums say no visitors without a global pandemic and I personally think they have the right idea! Hospital visitors were bad, truly hated that but it didn't end when we went home, an almost constant parade of people through my house when I'd just had a baby! You want a bit of peace and a chance to enjoy that baby bubble. I remember my emotions just going haywire when my little baby was scooped up and passed around like a parcel. You have spent 9 months carrying them 24/7, handing them over takes a bit of getting used to and is so much better done slowly! This time round I'll be saying no visitors, sticking to it, lockdown or no lockdown.

@Chelyanne @Tootsieslide yeah tbh I couldnt choose to bubble with my mum over his. His mum is so good to us and I know it would really hurt ber feelings if I bubbled with my parents and she never got to see baby and I would never want to risk a lasting fallout. MIL works as a key worker (food sector, not health) so around alot of people all the time. She's of due to seperate health issues atm but will be back to work before May so very hard for her to limit contact with others during the run up.

@Gem176 omg the hospital visits 🙄 this is my 2nd baby and after the first one I actually said to hubby on the way home after birth that if we have another one, no one is visiting in the hospital.

@omg35 yeah just so much time to over think atm 😂
@physicskate yeah the constant people os defo tiring, suppose it is a good excise.

Due feb, c section.

Not bubbling with either side - unfair to pick and DH wfh, can manage during paternity leave and I think we'll be fine after that too. Will I think send DD back to pre school after first 2 weeks as she'll be climbing the walls after isolating with me for 2 weeks prior to section date (small bubble, mostly outside with lots of precautions), which I do accept carries a level of risk, but feel it is needed for her development.

Plan to follow rules, save that if GPs want to come and see baby on doorstep early on that is fine. Then we will hope that things open up and try to do more with both sides gradually.

Parents unlikely to be pleased. Mine are non mask wearing Covidiots sadly so just can't be bothered with arguments etc - they are barely speaking to me after us observing the Christmas cancellation.

I'm due 1st April and this is something I've been discussing with my other half. Whether we are in a lockdown or not I'll only be letting my parents and his parents meet baby, distant relatives and friends can wait a month or 2. I've not been overly strict during first 2 lockdowns with seeing people but now I'm in 3rd trimester I've barely left the house since Christmas and will be carrying it on when newborn arrives x

I gave birth in the November lock down.
My husbands mum and sister live abroad so that’s not a question of meeting her.
My sister, partner and children and my husbands two cousins all met the baby- I asked they wore a mask when holding her.
One of my friends met her on the doorstep and the others all on zoom.

Gave birth March 2020 and no one held baby for 4 months due to covid. Hard but necessary. Obviously not my plan but it’s what we had to do. We did some distanced pram walks with immediate family but that was all.

Due in Sept 21 and i will be guided by whatever state the country is on.

Definitely wouldn’t pick one family over the other as that may cause issues.

And definitely don’t break any rules. If you follow them you know you’ve done everything you were supposed to to protect baby. If you bend/break and you or baby get ill then that would be on you (I know that’s guilt I couldn’t live with).

I had DD2 in September. My parents were looking after DD1 whilst I was in hospital so we went straight to theirs when I was discharged. Firstly to get DD1 and secondly to show off DD2. They’re both at home 99% of the time so not a covid risk.

My DH’s parents and siblings came in pairs so as not to break the rule of 6. We saw them all within the first week. My DSis came with her parter the first weekend and some close family friends came to see her too.

All were told to wash their hands before they held her (not just covid for this) and showed no symptoms. I said to DH they could all only come and visit if they had avoided all unnecessary outings for at least two weeks. Only work and food shopping.

I’m glad they all got to see her. We’re now in a bubble with my parents (they live 10 minutes away and PIL live 2 hours away) but none of us are going anywhere at all, not even the shops.

My friend had a baby in lockdown before Xmas and let everyone meet and hold the baby - some of them spending hours with them. It made me really worried and as a result I haven't been to see her or her baby even when it was allowed in the rules because I'm concerned by how many other people have been spending time in her house! Obviously it's a personal decision and not an easy one. I'm going to wait and see as hopefully the situation will improve but useful to see the advice from some other Mums about minimising visits anyway even without COVID.

I'm due April and really hoping babies grandparents will have been vaccinated by then, the dads should definitely be as they're higher priority categories. Only 1 of them still works but with children which isn't great for their exposure.
I don't want covid with a newborn, nor do I want to risk passing anything to them after being in a hospital- its probably the riskiest thing I'll have done in months!

Trying not to overthink it as hopefully by then cases will be much lower, they'll be more opportunity for outside walks and things like symptomless testing might be available to all. It all changes so quickly

Sorry OP but I am judging you for breaking the rules. I've followed the rules completely, and been even more cautious than the rules allow. I've now got covid. Who knows who you've put at risk.

Anyway, I'm due in April. We will be doing socially distant meetings only with close family. We will reassess in the summer and see how much the pandemic has subsided then.

Due early March and having the same discussions in our house, planning on being strict and not allowing any indoor/close contact with family for at least 8 weeks, or until the virus situation calms down and we're all vaccinated. Think initially when we're recovered a bit, we'll do very socially distanced views/walks with both sets of GP. Just can't risk baby or ourselves becoming ill for the sake of cuddles with extended family which they'll get down the line.

Do what feels safest for you and baby :-)

I'm due in 3wks. Even before covid, I've 2 older children, I limited the number of visitors. No one has ever been at the hospital other than my partner. I'm planning a homebirth this time so we don't really need childcare unless there's an emergency. But we won't be rushing to tell people I'm in labour or that she's here. We waited 9mths for her, other people can wait til we're ready. Failing that, there's a window. But then I'm unsociable at the best of times and I hate people playing pass the bloody parcel with babies 😒

Had baby June last year. Immediate family - parents and siblings - met baby wearing masks, but we had been in lockdown for months anyway so we felt it was fairly safe. Subsequent lockdowns we have followed the rules so they have gone long periods only seeing her outside for a walk. I actually have found people including close family to be very understanding - they don't want anything to happen to your baby either!! Remember, your baby, your rules.

@PFin I'm also due early May. I really don't think the main worry is babies or young children catching covid. The number of instances where a baby who tested positive for covid has needed medical care is negligible and we don't even know if those babies needed medical care for covid or for other health issues that had nothing to do with covid, as the current data don't offer that information. Hopefully this puts your mind at ease about risks to the baby after birth.

I assume you already know that women in their 3rd trimester are at higher risk of becoming seriously ill with covid, so I would be very careful about your exposure after 28 weeks.

However, I would still limit/not allow visitors soon after birth on grounds of covid (even if we are not in lockdown then) because of the much bigger worry that either you or your husband catch it and become unwell. There isn't enough data on the risk to postpartum women but logic says that the risk will inevitably be much higher to you while you are still weak and recovering after birth. Personally, although I am young and have no underlying health conditions, I wouldn't take any risks that increase my chance of catching covid myself until a few weeks after birth when my body will have hopefully had a chance to recover. Pregnancy and birth put a lot of strain on the mother's body, which will inevitably make you more vulnerable. Even if you don't end up in hospital, do you want to have a nasty flu that can last for weeks while caring for a newborn? I know one young mother who got it and she was proper sick for 6 weeks and then took another few weeks to get back on her feet. I asked her 4 months later and she said she finally felt like herself again but still ran out of breath easily. Surely, your families and your husband will want to protect you. The baby will still be there a few weeks later when your risk goes down again!

The way I would try to explain it to family is to explain that, in the past, you accepted to break covid restrictions with them because your risk of getting seriously ill was very low then (and you were only responsible for yourself back then, not another tiny human). But the risk is higher in late pregnancy and probably soon after birth, and you don't want to risk the wellbeing of your baby before you give birth or your ability to care for the baby once they are here.

Good luck!

@Parkandride

I'm due April and really hoping babies grandparents will have been vaccinated by then, the dads should definitely be as they're higher priority categories. Only 1 of them still works but with children which isn't great for their exposure. I don't want covid with a newborn, nor do I want to risk passing anything to them after being in a hospital- its probably the riskiest thing I'll have done in months!

Trying not to overthink it as hopefully by then cases will be much lower, they'll be more opportunity for outside walks and things like symptomless testing might be available to all. It all changes so quickly

Don't forget that we don't know yet if the vaccine will stop the virus from being transmitted. So just because someone has had the vaccine, doesn't mean they can't pass the virus onto you.

Over the coming months, the vaccine researchers will be studying whether the vaccine reduces transmission or not.

@PFin, also keep in mind that weather should be fairly decent by May. Once you're feeling well enough to go to the park or sit in the garden, you can have people over for a socially-distanced meet up outdoors where the risk of transmission is very low. As long as they keep their 2m distance from you, your husband and your baby, they can come over to "meet" the baby but not hold the baby. Might be a good compromise.

Due on Saturday and it's really starting to hit home how different it's going to be this time.

With DS1 had both sets of gps come to hospital and constant stream of visitors and absolutely loved it. Part of the reason I think DS1 never gets ill and has such a robust immune system is all the passing around he had and exposure at such a young age.

Hopefully going to form a support bubble with one set of GPS and then do socially distanced walks in the lark with family and close friends. Not seen anyone since Christmas and going stir crazy being stuck at home with FS1 who is now off nursery

My sister had a baby in November and we met up with her outside when lockdown lifted in December and went for a socially distanced walk with my new nephew in the pram. I still haven't held him yet but it was lovely to see him. Could you do something like that with your wider family?

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

I had DD2 in September. My parents were looking after DD1 whilst I was in hospital so we went straight to theirs when I was discharged. Firstly to get DD1 and secondly to show off DD2. They’re both at home 99% of the time so not a covid risk.

My DH’s parents and siblings came in pairs so as not to break the rule of 6. We saw them all within the first week. My DSis came with her parter the first weekend and some close family friends came to see her too.

All were told to wash their hands before they held her (not just covid for this) and showed no symptoms. I said to DH they could all only come and visit if they had avoided all unnecessary outings for at least two weeks. Only work and food shopping.

I’m glad they all got to see her. We’re now in a bubble with my parents (they live 10 minutes away and PIL live 2 hours away) but none of us are going anywhere at all, not even the shops.

I'm afraid we now know that transmission from surfaces is negligible to non-existent (not sure why the govt and WHO keep emphasising the washing of hands, but I guess it's not a bad habit anyway and at least it avoids other illnesses), so washing hands will do nothing to protect if the person is infected. The virus is transmitted mainly from person to person by close contact with someone who is infected. Also, keep in mind that many people who are infected and contagious are asymptotic!