Big Baby - HELP!

[ShinyGreenElephant]

I'm having an absolute nervous breakdown here so hopefully someone can reassure me. On my 3rd pregnancy, dd1 was born at 38w weighing 6lb 6 and dd2 at 38w weighing 7lb 1. Both natural labours and births, everything was fine. I'm 35w pregnant with dd3 and just been referred for a growth scan for excess growth and I'm absolutely panic stricken! Why has this happened? I haven't put on huge amounts of weight - I'm usually size 8 and am currently wearing maternity size 10 but I'm not eating loads more, just stopped running and going to the gym. I'm still breastfeeding my 2yo so I am hungry a lot but I eat healthily - mostly vegan, rarely eat sugary foods, drink loads of water. I've been stressed over home schooling but thats put me off my food if anything!

I'm now thinking I won't get my home birth, will have to be induced, will be in hospital for ages away from dd2 who has never spent a night away from me or even worse, have to leave dd3 in hospital alone!! What if i need a c section and I'm paralysed after it? What if she gets shoulder distosia and is permanently damaged? Or I get a terrible bleed and die and leave them with no mum? Please can someone with experience talk me down because I'm close to a panic attack. The midwife said it was nothing to worry about but they've booked me a scan first thing in the morning so that seems to me theyre very worried indeed!

Honestly it's nothing to stress too much about. Babys growth may slow before your due date, if not I think bigger babies are easier to birth.
Our 1st was an average 7lb 7oz. With our 2nd he measured 4 weeks ahead on a growth scan at 28 weeks. They did a repeat GTT which came back fine, he held steady at 4 weeks ahead and they never offered me an induction. They were actually reluctant to break my waters at 40+4 when I was 5cm dilated and left me over 24hours in labor on a ward before breaking waters. His shoulders did get a bit stuck but still only took 15 mins to push him out with 2 episiotomy cuts and G&A (10lb 12oz). He had meconium in waters but was fine. I was terrified about the birth in the run up but it was much easier than expected, I had a tougher time with the little one. Our 3rd was a breeze after him, 9lb 10oz.
Don't worry about cesarean either, I had an elective with breech twins. I was up walking within 12 hours of surgery and could do most things once home the next day. Just heavy lifting was out for a few weeks, I had toddler at the time and 2 older kids too. Once hubby went back to work I was back doing everything myself and didn't find it that hard. My mum had me worried about cesarean as she said hers with me was awful but I found it to be no big deal and didn't even need pain relief after.

They send tonnes of people for growth scans. Fundal height measurement isn't all that accurate, so they send you for angrowth scan that also sometimes isn't very accurate (they said dd weighed more on scan than she did at birth almost three weeks before she was born).

It doesn't have anything to do with what you've done or eaten, so stop worrying about that.

It's just one of those things. Honestly, it's very very far from being a big deal.

I had growth scans from 32 weeks last time because her growth curve was levelling off. Likely to have growth scans his time around for the opposite reason!!

Thank you, that's reassuring. I desperately want a home birth, all my friends whove had babies recently have had really bad experiences, plus my gran contracted covid in hospital (with a broken bone) and died, so I'd rather not spend much time there. I know lots of people have c sections and episiotomies but it worries me trying to recover from either while juggling a newborn, a toddler and homeschooling, during a lockdown with my husband unable to take time off and none of my family allowed to help in any way. I'm just really scared now

The measurements aren’t all that accurate, I was within range (just) with my first and still managed an 11lb 1oz whopper at 38 weeks! Born by elective c section but she had still somehow managed to get herself stuck in my pelvis requiring the use of forceps so just as well really that I had c section already booked in.

So I suppose what I am trying to say is, what will be will be, BUT having the scan will give you a bit of a heads up and time to plan. For what it’s worth, I’ve had op for uterine fibroids and then a c section. The c section was a cake walk in comparison. Hope it all goes well for you.

@Haiyaa see thats what scares me, 11lb 1!!! Surely they wouldnt let me give birth to a baby that big at home? I can't bear the idea of being in hospital at the moment its my worst nightmare. DH is 6"2 and both his older kids are tall for their age, but DD2 Isn't at all so I just wasn't expecting this and I'm getting more panicked by the minutes

@ShinyGreenElephant, I expect if baby looks as if it is getting on to be big as that, they will potentially induce but may be wrong. In that case then a home birth would be out of the question. But at least with the scan you will know one way or the other and have time to get your head around it. I know it’s not ideal/your vision for how everything will go but the hospitals are trying really hard. I was there with my DD. A few weeks ago and they were fantastic, I had no concerns at all.

Plus, I know it probably won’t help but once it is all done and baby is home safe and sound, where they were born won’t matter.

@ShinyGreenElephant I’m sure it’s absolutely nothing to worry about OP! Just thought I’d give you my positive experience though...😊
Had my first baby at 3 months ago during lockdown and had been told that baby was “HUGE”. I was sent for scan after scan and baby consistently measured big. They told me he would be 10lb 7/8oz at 40 weeks. They really pushed me to have an induction. All I had read about induction and birthing big babies told me that I was going to end up with a forceps delivery or emergency section or some kind of horrific birth and that id have to have an epidural. I was petrified!

I booked the induction for 39+5 because they didn’t want me to go over 40 weeks. I had a very successful induction 😊 pessaries to start things off, waters broken, hormone drip and a healthy baby boy born with NO intervention and only gas and air for pain relief. Had a very minor tear that required a few internal stitches but that’s all 😊 Baby born at 3am and we were discharged from hospital at 3pm 😊

The hospital was lonely - I was in a room on my own for my induction and after I’d had the baby and I wasn’t allowed my partner with me until I had my waters broken and he was sent home 2hours after the birth. Obviously I would have loved my partner to be there but I was glad that I didn’t really come into contact with anyone else.

Hopefully you get the home birth that you want but if not, inductions aren’t all bad ❤️

Thank you, that does help. I've not slept a wink with worry last night. Its not the hospital itself that scares me, its more the idea of being away from my kids - DD2 is still breasfed and weve never been apart. I wouldn't be able to have anyone with me either as my husband would have to stay with the kids, so noone to advocate for me in an emergency and the three of my friends who've had babies during the pandemic all had really awful, traumatic experiences. Just need to get through this scan and hope to god it was just the student midwife not measuring very well (she did get my blood pressure wrong twice as well so I'm clinging to that idea!)

With a child under the age of 1 you can form a support bubble with another family, perhaps your parents or in-laws

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household

My babies were 9lbs and 10lbs. Both vaginal with only minute tears. This is your third time too so your body is more prepared.

My fundal measurements were saying baby will be on the 90th centile. Baby was born under the 10th centile at 5lb12oz. Try not to worry OP.

@ColdCottage we have a support bubble with my stepsister but she has 3 kids inc a 6m old baby so on a practical level I cant see her being a huge amount of help. Even if we could swap bubbles, my dad lives miles away, my mum works very long hours in a demanding government job and MIL works in a supermarket so neither of them would be a great help really. SIL doesn't work but smokes like a chimney and heavily disapproves of me breastfeeding so shes the last person I would want for support. I suppose what I really want is either me to be fine or at least my husband to stay off for weeks but we just cant afford that.

I do agree my body should be prepared this time which is why I thought a home birth will be safe. I'm religious with my pelvic floor exercises and have been for years, didn't even have a graze with DD2. But I have pretty narrow hips and just keep picturing an 11lb baby getting stuck and we both die

@Bing765 that's encouraging! I should know soon, hopefully they've just measured wrong 🤞🤞🤞

I doubt you'd jump to an 11lb baby based on past babies. I'd call my midwife for a chat. I'm sure she will tell you such a big jump in size is unusual.

You can surely have your SIL as your childcare bubble to farm off the older children for a few hours and have a support bubble with a friend who might be in a better position to help?

I feel like you're projecting here maybe a little bit... as you said it was a trainee midwife. Fundal height measurements are (ideally) taken by the same midwife. Scans too can be inaccurate but may give you an idea.

Sounds like general birth anxiety to me (which is actually totally normal). Maybe it's because you aren't actually happy with home birth but saw that as a compromise to get what you want with having dh and childcare? Or perhaps that's me projecting? Sorry if that's the case.

You're just reacting super strongly to being sent for a (routine and common) growth scan....

Well shes not even big at all, still on the 50th percentile so I was having hysterics over nothing. Smaller than my last baby. Thanks everyone for your help!

My first was 7lb 6oz and I am 5' on a tall day and had size 6-8 hips pre pregnancy.

New tall partner for subsequent babies.

I looked HUGE but my fundal height was always a bit behind and they reckoned I was measuring small for days at 42+3 DD2 was 10lb6oz and very long.

So yep fundal height means little and if you've had 2 babies with zero issues it's unlikely you will suddenly have a large one etc.

DDs 3 & 4 didn't quite 10lbs either but again were tall.

My frien6wss told she was going to have a big baby. She gave birth 2 days later and her daughter was just under 7lbs

I measured on the 10th percentile for bump but she was born on the 60th percentile (customised charts) / 15th percentile Red book chart.

So glad.

I had my DS2 11 years ago, no sign of being a big baby and out he popped at 10lb 9oz, just gas and air and no tears. I’m now pregnant with my third and had a scan at 28weeks and she’s on 98th centile! Went for diabetes test and it came back normal so I must just grow big babies. Seeing midwife this week as I am a lot older now and ideally would like to be induced early as I’m struggling to walk now and she’s only 3lb 6oz.

I really wouldn't worry. I got sent for these scans 3 times towards the end of my pregnancy! It was only because I had 3 different midwives measuring my stomach so had different results each time. I was imagining a 10 pounder but I got an 8 pounder (which was big enough!).

Thanks so much everyone, can't believe how stressed I was now 😂😂😂