4th child fear!

[gemme]

Parents of 4 children please come at me!

Recently discovered that I'm pregnant with baby number 4, which was a surprise to say the least. We had a very tough time conceiving our third baby, with many losses beforehand and years of trying, so I'm feeling guilty for not being thrilled about this pregnancy yet.

I can't help but feel a 4th child is SUCH a big jump from 1, 2 or 3. Going to need a 7 seater car, thankfully we have enough room in the house for another but will still need to work out logistics of who would need to share etc. I still have everything from our youngest so we're pretty sorted and it's not as bad as it could be but all I can think is FOUR!! I feel completely outnumbered with 3 at times, especially at the minute with homeschooling and having them all home 24/7.

How did you find number 4 fit in? I did find the jump from 2-3 the easiest admittedly, as I had the attitude that baby number 3 just had to slot in with our already busy lifestyle, and it worked just fine. I'm also bracing myself for the comments when people find out. Because at 4 (even at 3) you enter that territory of sarcastic comments like "don't you know what's causing it yet" etc!

It's only early days yet and history has made me almost expect a miscarriage, but any tips and own experiences are all greatly appreciated. Thankyou!

I have 4, age range from 5-11. Early years were crazily busy, but that was partly due to them all being so close in age. It's now that I'm really starting to enjoy them more and find little bits of time for myself again.

7-seater car, not that big a deal, most of them aren't much bigger to get used to driving than a standard car and we buy second hand, so not too expensive.

Holidays, we book airBnB self-catering, so have a whole house to ourselves, again not too expensive.

Best bits - the kids always have someone to play with. Often they naturally pair up to play, differs who with, sometimes the two oldest and two youngest, sometimes the middle two etc. They all have different relationships and favourite play activities and it's lovely to watch how they all interact differently depending who they are with. They are now at the stage where they'll sometimes sit down and play a board game with each other and not need me to set it up and join in.

When they do all play together it's great fun, and it has really helped during this lockdown when they can't see their friends that they have each other to play with.

Hardest bits - getting time to myself. There's always someone needing me or looking for me. My DH has been great at making sure he's free to let me regularly take part in my sporting hobby (training and match every week) which has saved my sanity, but now it's cancelled because of Covid I've had to make sure I get time to myself - walking, long bath etc - or I start to get frustrated at the constant demands.

Other drawback is the constant laundry and housework to keep on top of it, but as long as the kids are clean, fed and happy and the house is presentable I don't get too worked up. They are now getting to an age where I set little chores for them to help with, so that helps as well.

I always wanted 4, I know I'm very blessed as they do get on well (most of the time!) but it is genuinely such a joy to see them interact and grow up together.

I always wanted 4, I know I'm very blessed as they do get on well (most of the time!) but it is genuinely such a joy to see them interact and grow up together.

How lovely. These are my sentiments too. I was an only and I always knew I wouldn’t have your standard 2.4.

My fourth was a shock. Teen now and much loved by older 3 and us.

We have done lots of cabin/cottage type holidays but that’s fine.

Last year we had a one night stay in a city hotel on the way to a holiday park in Europe. We had the youngest three with us who are big enough to be in own room in hotel. I booked a room for us and one for them.

DH and I were exited about a night alone in a nice hotel room. We checked into our rooms and then DC4 burst out of what I thought was a cupboard but was actually a connecting door of adjoining rooms.

“Great,” he said, “ I’ll sleep on that sofa bed as there is more room in here.”

We feel blessed but there have been tough times when more than one of them had a wobble and needed intensive parenting. We are looking forward to a bit more time to ourselves and actually hoping for a bit of a gap before grandkids