Pregnant but what to do?

[sarahlee123]

Hi, my first post on here as I genuinely need some advice and dont know what to do..

so I found out last week that I am pregnant but heres a backstory to my situation!

I've basically been stupid :( my ex-partner cheated on me last year and I was absolutely heart broken (still not fully over it at all) we have 3 children 12,10 & 7. And hes really good and always there for all 3 kids. I stupidly was still sleeping with him sometimes. I found out recently that he is still in a relationship with the woman who he cheated with and they've moved in together (lovely) anyway few days ago I found out I was pregnant and told him. He was weirdly happy when I told him, then the same hour he was asking am I going to book the abortion. I thought I was ok with it as I'd kind of accepted that I wasnt going to have any more children, but I really dont think I want to have an abortion and he wants me to and I dont know what to do. I asked him yesterday if hes sure this is what he wants and hes said yes if things weren't complicated hed get me to keep it ( his words ) that angered me so much and just shows how horrible he is. I really dont know what to do, I had an abortion in the past not long after my youngest was born as I really wasn't ready but once id done it I felt awful and went into depression.

But he is so sure he doesnt want this baby so where do I stand. Also, if i continue with this pregnancy, I know what hes like and he will tell all people we know that i've forced him as he didnt want it. And I'm also worried about peoples thoughts on me getting pregnant by him after what hes done to me. I really dont know what to do. :(

I would never get an abortion just because someone else thinks you should. It's your body and your life, and who cares what he will tell people? He probably doesn't want this coming out because it would probably ruin his new relationship, well tough.
You should only ever do something if you think you should or you think it's right, never be pressured into something you don't feel it's right to please someone else. He sounds like a nob

If you want to keep it then that's what you should do. What other people think is not important. HIM, if he thinks he can dictate to you he is very wrong. The fact that he made things complicated should not mean you are persuaded to do something you may regret for the rest of your life and cause you to fall in to depression. I'm sure some people will be totally supportive of you whatever you decide. It has to be your decision because you are the one who has to deal with the consequences.

He doesn’t deserve to just have you go what he wants. The situation is only complicated because HE made it complicated so god knows who he thinks he is trying to dictate what you do. You will be the one who has to live with this so only go with what you want - please do not factor him in.

I also wouldn’t worry about what he would tell other people or them thinking he forced you into it. If I was on the receiving end of him saying that I would actually laugh at the nerve of it. He knows he can’t tell people that anyway as it makes him look like a massive twat as people will just think no one forced you to sleep with anyone, that’s probably why he’s panicked.

Please do what’s right for you and good luck xx

Do you want another baby?
Are you prepared to raise it alone? If he doesn't want it and cuts any romantic ties with you and just continues to see the children (maybe minus the new baby) are you ok with that?
He absolutely cannot tell you what to do, but don't keep a baby you don't want just because you don't want to give him what he wants

Hi @sarahlee123 it sounds like a complicated situation! The only advice I can really give is that you need to follow your heart and intuition. Don’t think about what he wants or what people might say. Think about what you want and whether you want to keep this child. If you don’t that’s fine. But if you do then you don’t need to have him in your life if he wants no part in the child! It’s also no one else’s business who the babies dad is!

An abortion is your choice, not his. Do what you want to do. He sounds like a total twat and is FORCING you to have an abortion. The situation is only complicated for him, not you but it's a situation of his own doing.

I would contact the woman and make her aware of the situation especially as you are pregnant.

Have you not told him that your aware that he lives with the woman?

Personally I wouldn’t want a 4th child so I wouldn’t keep the baby.