My friend

[yoms]

Hi.
My friend is worrying me. She tells a lot of lies. She says she is pregnant and I am so happy for her. First she said she was 2 weeks overdue but won't take the test but kept planning got this baby. Talk nonstop about it. Then when I said I won't discuss it again until she takes a test she sent a picture of a positive test. I am happy for her but then she said something. Said she has called the midwife and they have booked her 1st midwife appointment and also booked her dating scan.. I thought dating scan can only be booked after 1st midwife appointment, after midwife has took your bloods?

In NHS Scotland I was given a date for the booking in appt, and a date for the 12 and 20 week scan all at once. So she isnt necessarily lying based on that.

Also at the moment due to covid19 a lot of appts are by phone - my bloods, BP, weight and height weren't done until 12 week scan

What lies has this person told before?

My dating scan was booked independently and I received the letter before I attended my booking in appointment

Did you actually refuse to talk about it anymore until she takes a test...? And what kind of lies does she usually tell?

It depends on trust but you can receive both appointments at the same time, that doesn’t necessarily mean she is lying. I got my scan appointment before I’d had my midwife appointment

My midwife told me at my booking appointment that after we had gone through all of the questions, taken bloods, blood pressure etc. It would generate a letter to the hospital so that my dating scan could be booked in. So in my case, you’re right as attending the booking appointment triggered the notification to the hospital to get me booked in for my dating scan Xx

I am so glad to hear she might be telling the truth. She does live in Scotland. I am the gullible type and do believe everything people tell me but once o find out someone has lied I just begin to worry about them. She told me once that she had a job somewhere and kept going on about t'her training and shifts etc and kept me going for 3 months, she will go out of her way to tell me stories about customers and all and I found out she was lying and has never left her old job. That got me worried because I just don't understand why someone will make up a story and kept building up on it.
She is in Scotland so I am relieved for her.
I was just worried that if she would lie about pregnancy then she might need help.
When I say I refused to talk about it until she took a test .. I was super worried that she might be doing a lot of planning for a baby that she doesn't even know exist!

Why would she lie about being pregnant though? There's one obvious flaw in the plan - there would be no baby, and that's kind of a giveaway a few months down the line ..

@LindaEllen

Why would she lie about being pregnant though? There's one obvious flaw in the plan - there would be no baby, and that's kind of a giveaway a few months down the line ..

That's why I came here to ask.. I know my friend and I know she has lied before. She has been trying to get pregnant for the past 6 months and I have been very supportive but every month, she will tell me she is late and she thinks she is pregnant and when I say take a test, she will tell me the day after that her period came. She has told lies about money she has and her family stole etc . She always has very interesting stories to tell and I just thought of she is pregnant I am happy . If she is making it up I wanna help the best way I can..

@FabbyMagic

Did you actually refuse to talk about it anymore until she takes a test...? And what kind of lies does she usually tell?

Yes I did. It gets tiring that every month she tells me she is late and I get excited for her and tell her to take pregnacare and she tells me all the symptoms she have and when we get to the point where I say take a test, she tells me she has seen her period. And like I said she has lied before about getting a job somewhere , kept telling me stories about what happened in that job until I found out she never left her old job.

This person has a personality disorder and is mentally ill. You can not help her, and if you try, it will bite you back. Help yourself and get counseling, people attracted to such problematic friends often have their own issues..

@anniebu

This person has a personality disorder and is mentally ill. You can not help her, and if you try, it will bite you back. Help yourself and get counseling, people attracted to such problematic friends often have their own issues..

Huh.. thanks... People making such comments are usually very bitter and sad. Good luck in finding happiness..

How do you know I am attracted to such friends?? Have I said all my friends are like this or that I attract such kinda friends???

This was kindly meant, @yoms. Sorry if it came across as crude. I do not think all your friends are like this. I think you are a kind person and you genuinely believe you can help your friend.

I said what I said because I have first hand experience. I knew a person just like what you described. I do hope that you have better luck with your friend than all of us who tried to help our friend. I learnt about mental illness more than I had wished in the process, but there was no saving that person from their own actions.

I could say that I was attracted to people with problems, and I felt I could save them. Sorry English is not my native language so I may have worded it poorly. What I meant is you are clearly on a forum trying to solve someone else's problems for them, and this someone has a serious problem that needs specialist attention rather than a kind friend's advice. Lying and inventing for months is not a little fib. It is indicative of a severe issue.

I will take your wishes of finding happiness in life at face value. Thank you. I am already pretty content, and if more happiness arrives it will be even better.

Take care and do what you will.

@anniebu

This was kindly meant, *@yoms*. Sorry if it came across as crude. I do not think all your friends are like this. I think you are a kind person and you genuinely believe you can help your friend.

I said what I said because I have first hand experience. I knew a person just like what you described. I do hope that you have better luck with your friend than all of us who tried to help our friend. I learnt about mental illness more than I had wished in the process, but there was no saving that person from their own actions.

I could say that I was attracted to people with problems, and I felt I could save them. Sorry English is not my native language so I may have worded it poorly. What I meant is you are clearly on a forum trying to solve someone else's problems for them, and this someone has a serious problem that needs specialist attention rather than a kind friend's advice. Lying and inventing for months is not a little fib. It is indicative of a severe issue.

I will take your wishes of finding happiness in life at face value. Thank you. I am already pretty content, and if more happiness arrives it will be even better.

Take care and do what you will.

I am glad you clarified things. I think we are both in the same boat. English is my 3rd language. Sorry I misunderstood you. I don't need counselling though. Thanks for being kind 🥰