Coming to terms with not having any more babies

[NikkiD88]

So, absolutely devastated to be writing this. We have 2 beautiful girls (3 and 1) and feel so lucky to have them. We've had an ectopic, missed miscarriage, chemical pregnancy and only yesterday another missed miscarriage. I absolutely wanted to have another baby and have this hole in my heart where I want another baby to fill but I feel like the universe is telling me no. I'm not sure how much more loss I can take and my husband really doesn't want a third but has tried because I do so bad. I feel like after this latest loss, I should try and accept defeat. But where so I start? How do I silence this voice? Yes I adore my girls and they are my everything but I can't seem to switch this off.

Awh so sorry to hear about all your losses! At this stage you should get checked out after having so many loses and defo need to think about your mental health and asking youself is it worth it? You may not have any babies but you'll always have kids your 2 beautiful girls who you can devote yourself too. As they get a bit older hopefully your feelings start to fade and you'll enjoy the independance you gain as your kids get older.

Thanks for replying. I know how lucky we are as some don't ever get to this stage. And god I love my girls more than the world, they give me so much joy and love and hope. I'm hoping you're right, this desire for more will fade. I'm just really struggling to process it all right now. And my husband also is concerned about my mental health and the toll all of this loss is having on me, and him also.

@NikkiD88 so sorry to hear about your losses. Take time to process all of them and grieve properly but remember you have two lovely babies that will bring you joy and depend on your well being and happiness for theirs. Make sure to look after yourself and enjoy your family. Wishing you strength.xx

My husband really doesn't want a third but has tried because I do so bad

This says it all. It’s not the right thing to do. You should never, ever bring a child into the world if only one of you wants it.

I have children but before I had them I always feared, for no particular reason, that I wouldn't be lucky enough to have them. I promised myself many years ago that if I was lucky enough to have even one child I would count my blessings and be grateful for what I have because there are so many people who would give everything to have their first baby and be as lucky as I have been. Being a mum is the best thing ever to happen to me.

Whenever I think I'd love another, and feel a little yearning for one, I remind myself of this.

So Sorry for your losses.

Think of all the positives that you can with staying as you are - you will be able to afford to do more things with two children and have more time for each of them and indulge them more both with money and time.

I think it is difficult when you want one and your partner doesn’t - think of all the reasons he doesn’t and the impact another child would have on your family and relationship. Really focus on how lucky you are with your lovely young family.

It’s ok to be sad too - let yourself feel it, grieve it and then make steps to move on. Look to exciting things you can do in the future!

Some home truths, but lots of good advice. Thanks so much for your words. I will be taking some time to grieve and focusing on my girls and the fantastic life we can give them.