Wannabe mum at 40, pls help!

[wannabemummy40]

Hi everyone,

Looking for any advice/guidance as not able to speak to family & friends with covid! So just turned 40 and actively trying to conceive, regular periods and no other issues, had internal check at private centre 12 months ago and all fine. Struggling with finding ovulation tests not picking anything up! Now ordered a clear blue connect system so hoping this will help. Would appreciate any support from anyone same age/been or going through the same.

Thank you all

Hello. I'm 39 and had been TTC for twelve months with no joy (first time ever trying).

Discovered that I wasn't ovulating so I was put on Clomid by private consultant and just got my BFP a few days before Xmas. I too felt like it was never going to happen and worried about my age, and here I am.

It's obviously very early days for me so I'm holding back on excitement until I know everything is ok.

I wanted to share with you though to let you know there is lots of hope! My own mum gave birth to my half sister when she was 45!

Best of luck to you 😊

I'm 44 and nearly 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby.

I’m 48 and 22 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I used the clear blue digital ovulation sticks and became pregnant both months I used them! They were tremendously helpful. The first time I had a miscarriage then became pregnant again 6 weeks later. The ovulation kit meant we knew when to time sex. Spot on both times. Good luck OP.

Ovulation tests helped me and medication to stimulate ovulation. I got pregnant this time just before my 41st birthday.

Problem after 40 is that you don't ovulate every month - this is what my gynae told me and handed me a prescription for letrozole.

If you have been trying for 6 months the gp would see you (before covid) and there are blood tests they can do to check ovulation

@wannabemummy40 I’m 39 this year and have been trying for 16 months with my partner suffering 4 miscarriages along the way. It’s been heartbreaking and I have been so close to giving up. I have children from a previous relationship but my partner has none so we really wanted this.

Ended up seeing a fertility consultant after our 3rd loss and all tests and scans were fine as well as semen analysis.

From being on this board I heard about ubiquinol being good for improving the quality of eggs in older women so started taking a 200mg daily dose of that. I also upped my folic acid to a high dose along with a high dose of vit d.

I tracked my temp and used opk’s and saw my cycles were quite long with me not ovulating until cd22 or sometimes even later which would be really frustrating. My luteal phase length was 13 days which was great.

Again after reading about it on here I tried soy isoflavones (like natural clomid) to try and bring my cycles forward. I’d taken it on cd3-7 on a few cycles sporadically, and then this current cycle decided to take them on cd2-6 as well as using conceive plus lubricant (have tried preseed and didn’t like it, it didn’t do anything). It amazingly brought my ovulation forward to cd14 meaning my cycle woukd only be 27 days long!

I amazingly got my bfp on 8dpo and by 9dpo had a pretty strong line. I then got my digital weeks confirmation at 10dpo and now at 12dpo my lines are looking great. I know people say you can’t base things on line progression, but in my own personal experience it definitely made a difference, so far none of my miscarriages started with an early bfp, and the lines were never as dark at the start. I’m hoping it means a strong bean with plenty of hcg.
My af isn’t even due until Sunday so I’m not out of the woods, but staying hopeful!

I have honestly been so close to giving up so many times, assuming my body must just not be able to carry a baby anymore, that I’d left it too late, that my eggs are too old etc, but here I am, again with a bfp and a bit of hope! Don’t lose hope! If it was not for Mumsnet I’d have chucked the towel in months ago! X

Have you tried charting your temps and cervical fluid OP? If you're ovulating at an unusual time you might be missing it with the sticks. I'm also 40 and we are TTC no. 3 after a bit of a gap (DCs are 8 and 5, nearly 6).

I'm 39 almost 40 and DH and I are planning on trying for our 4th around March. DH had vasectomy reversed in November. I'm using ovulation sticks, taking my vitamins and exercising. I hope you get your BFP soon.

If you were using the cheapo ovulation tests before that could well be the reason they weren’t picking anything up. They’re cheap for a reason. I really think if we all just invested in the clear blue digital tests from the start we’d save a lot of time TTC. Wish this was more widely known.

Thank you everyone so so much my partner is amazingly supportive but hearing from you guys has really made me feel I'm not alone with my age 'hang up' I'm taking all your advice it really is priceless.

You have all gone through so much and have the lived experience I needed to hear, I'm the only person I know at this age trying and the amount of people that look at you stupid when you say your 40 and trying for your first! 🙈

I'm Soooo pleased for you all ❤️ Your stories are amazing.

I'm going to take all your advice (temp, ovulation, testing) and use it as I have faith I just need to chill, as I am someone who stresses more than I should for no reason as I am very lucky and just need to appreciate simple things!

If ok I might call on you again just as all my family are 3hrs away and not seen them since sept so lockdown and struggled with that especially at the min and since Xmas! With trying to conceive, developing a business and looking to move I need to like my other half says 'chill my beans'

Thank you again for your replies feeling positive and happy in these crazy times now. Stay safe everyone xxx

Ovulation tests never worked for me (never got a positive) but I got pregnant after four months of trying. From reading forums I learned that ovulation tests don't work for a lot of women, so don't let that get you down!

Temperature charting worked well for me - I realised I wasn't ovulating until day 20/21.

Good luck!

Yes actually I've never used ovulation tests but I charted for years (for contraception before the children) so know my signs really well. I got pregnant very quickly with the boys but obviously might take longer now / might not happen now I'm older. I think charting is especially useful if you have irregular or unusually long/short cycles but even if you have a very regular or ordinary seeming cycle you could be ovulating late with a short luteal phase or vice versa. Although the other thing charting for years taught me is that I almost always without realising it had sex on the day of ovulation or the day before anyway so I think there's also a lot to be said for following your instincts/libido as well.

Defiantly by some ovulation tests and when the best time to conceive is, and keep trying! My mother inlaw went on to have to healthy children at 44 and 46! With no problems. It will happen good luck xxx

Good luck op. Another vote for clear blue here.

@Moominmiss 🤞 for you. I also found weaker lines / digital tests showing me as less far along than I was with miscarriage and stronger positives with successful pregnancy. Hoping same is true for you xxx

I could cry woke up tested and have happy flashing face So I'm off to see my partner in work and will be ready when he's home too, feels like I've won the lotto! Thank u everyone xxxx