How hard is 2 to 3?

[Bella134]

I have 2 children and me and my husband are currently in two minds about whether to try for a third and last child. Our only concern is about money - but also know that others have done it and still had nice things/been to nice places etc. Ive always wanted 3, but now that we've got two I just don't want to have another if we won't beable to still give the two we already have everything they want/need financially. My oldest is currently 7 and youngest is 4. This year is our make a decision year because we've both agreed if we aren't pregnant by the time our youngest is 5 we won't have another because of the age gap (I know it works for alot of people but this is a personal decision we've made together).
I'm not really asking whether we should or not as I know that has to be down to us.

But my questions are:
how did you find it?
Was it hard financially or the same?
Did maternity pay hit you hard? (We're both working - I'm part time and would take off 9 months then go back)
Was nursery the fees high? (We aren't entitled to any benefits or help)
And last but not least how did your older children feel?

I won't judge anyone's comments and please don't judge me for asking these things.

Thankyou

Most people do find 1-2 harder than 2-3, but I didn't.

I was still in baby mode foing from 1-2 as my older two are barely 2 years apart, but dc2 was nearly 4 when dc3 was born and this was much harder for me, because dc3 didn't sleep, yet dc1 and 2 needed to be at school and preschool at set times, and fetched, and to go to their activities, deserved to be able to host and go on playdates just as often as before dc3 was born etc.

This meant I couldn't nap when the baby napped, couldn't stick cbeebies on for the older one and have a slobby relaxed start to the day if I'd only had two seperate hours sleep, and also had to often interupt a long breastfeed which promised to get dc3 off to sleep, because I had to take or fetch one or both of his siblings to/ from somewhere.

For me a 3rd baby with two preschool/ infant school siblings is harder than multiple very small, close in age, children (I also used to childmind when the older one then two were small - all mindees and my own were very close in age) because you're juggling completely different needs and schedules on no sleep.

However if you get a sleeper you'll be fine.

I had all the routine etc down pat and thought I knew it all about getting babies sleeping btw, having my older two in a good routine and having been a childminder and never had a problem getting three babies and toddlers down for naps together, but I discovered that some children just don't sleep no matter what... DC3 has some sensory issues as it tirns out (he's nearly ten now and still rarely sleeps through but also rarely disturbs us in the night as he has lots of strategies now to help him resettle himself).

It waas also a very long time until dc2 played with dc3 as dc1 and 2 were so close - they wete never jealous of dc3 and always protective and loving, but they basically saw him more like a pet I suspect!

I did feel I had a "pair" of children and a much youngr only even with a 4 year gap, until dc3 was about 5. At that point dc1 was just starting to "outgrow" dc2 for the first time as she approached the start of puberty while dc2 was very much still a little boy, and since then dc2 and dc3 have been inseperable.

So it works out in the end, and dc3 is an absolutely incredible child - I've rarely met such a loving, cuddly, thoughtful, creative, hilarious 9 year old boy.

But 2-3 was harder, for me, with age gaps similar to yours.

Mine are closer in age, I had a nanny when I went back to work as it would otherwise not be possible to manage all the school runs, nursery runs and food. Works out the same anyway. The only drawback is holidays, the expense goes up far more than I thought (seems obvious but I hadn't thought about it). Its also not that appealing travelling with three under 5s at the time.

@zippityzip they will slot right in! Congratulations!