Baby on a budget asking for a friend

[smileygirl1995]

Hi all so usually I post for me but my friends just asked me to post for her as she's not got an account, hope that's okay...
She's just found out that she's expecting she's 9weeks.
Her partner walked out on her 2weeks ago he didn't know (hopefully he's not coming back) she didn't plan for a baby at all as she isn't financially stable, she is self employed so works from home which is sort of ideal, but no stable wage coming in as such, she said she gets a regular who orders around £60-£70 every month but that's it, she lives with her mum (I think her two sisters but not sure if they've moved out now, not caught up with her in a while) her wages for her work can range each month from £100-400 she said she's got some money saved up but didn't say how much.
I've told her she should carry on, she would be an excellent mum and I'm sure her own mum and family would support her for whatever she needs. She's worried she's not going to be able to be a good enough parent to provide for her baby, but she can't bear the thought of not having them or giving them up.
I'm not sure what benefits she might be entitled to I don't even think she's looked that up or if she'd even want to, can anyone offer any advice dso I can show her this post so she knows she's not alone.

Hey, didn't want to read and run.
Ask your friend to look into universal credit. When I was married to my very controlling ex, I had no money of my own, I used to work only 4 hours a week.
I left him and applied for universal credit. they provided me with enough to be able to afford a nice little 2 bedroom house for me and my two children and enough to pay all the bills and get groceries.
There wasn't enough to have a social life as such, or get luxuries like sky tv but that wasn't important to me. It evens out if you earn more through work, you get less through UC. I now have a better job, but still get too ups from them.
Also buying stuff for baby doesn't need to cost a fortune, you can get perfectly decent cots and pushchairs second hand (just get a new mattress for the cot- they're not expensive) there are some brilliant things for sale on Facebook including clothing bundles.

Hope she figured out what she wants to do.

Tell her to join universal credit essentials on Facebook it will show her what she is entitled to when baby comes. But everything can be done cheap lots of 2nd hand stuff on Facebook for very little money. Essentially all she will need is plenty of clothes for baby first 6 months pram car seat nappies wipes cot and bouncer anything else is luxuries but defo can be done. I survived on my own with 3 kids

Definitely get her to look at universal credit. She could call or use one of the benefit calculators online.
Also there are some really good FB groups for new mums.
Marketplace on FB is brilliant for picking up secondhand baby stuff.

I know where I live there is a couple free FB groups that people post things they don’t want and offer for free (usually that would go to landfill, charity shops etc) - I’ve seen loads of great baby stuff on there might be worth a look.
There is plenty of help out there so tell her to try not to worry to much and to look after herself. Yes it will be hard but she will be okay. Best of luck xx

I'm on a budget as well. Not everything needs to be big brands l got a moses basket for 15 very good condition on Facebook. And really looked around for everything else.

I'm very money conscious as even though my husband has a job he is paying off some money so lm the one taking care of all the household expenses. I've even changed my maternity leave date because it was financially better for us .

She can do it. She needs to apply for UC as soon as possible.

She needs to think seriously about what sort of future she will be able to offer a child, long term. With minimal income she won't be able to afford nursery, so she won't be able to work, so will be on benefits for the foreseeable. She's living with her mum - will she be able to move out? Will UC cover rent? Does she live somewhere where you need to drive to shops, GP etc, does she have a car?

It's all very well saying she'd be a lovely mum, but love isn't enough. If i were you I'd be counselling her to think very, very carefully about whether or not this is the sort of life she wants for a child.

As pp have said, she should look up what UC top up she is entitled to. If she's paid national insurance for her self employed work (or does voluntarily before babies born) she will be entitled to maternity allowance (£140ish a week) for up to 39 weeks. She should also look up the sure start maternity grant, if she's eligible she would get a one off £500 towards the cost of baby equipment etc. If she's careful, and doesn't mind getting somethings second hand that should cover most things baby needs for the first year.

Sorry for lack of replies your help has been wonderful!! Lots of great advice I've passed onto her, she's going to try universal credits for sure as so many have recommended it, I actually told her about the maternity grant but she's not sure if she's eligible I think we're both looking down every avenue at the moment! 😱
She's been an emotional wreck for the last few days (pretty much since she found out) but I think now after the advice she's had and what I've sent her of what you guys have said she's feeling more positive, I admit I didn't even realise so much help was out there!
I was planning to ttc last year but that all went to pot so hopefully planning for later in the year, but I think I'll be doing similar trawling local selling pages etc, or I might even be able to use some bits from Alice as bubs will probably be born by then!
So jealous but so excited for her, thank you again everyone for all your help and advice any more please feel free to bombard her with it :)

I don't know about benefits but in terms of buying baby stuff almost everything can be found very cheap 2nd hand. We've hardly bought anything new. In my area gumtree is great, plus others have mentioned fb marketplace. Also charity shops (once opened). You can get local freecycling websites where people give stuff away for free. She might know someone with a baby and be able to get hand-me-downs. Perhaps close family & friends can help by buying the odd item....? Loads of options!