Mental health and pregnancy

[JeffV]

Hi all,

I'm just looking for some advice around mental health and pregancy. To give you an over view I have suffered from mental health problems before mainly around high pressure at work. This comes and goes depending on the situation but it managed with chatting with my line manager, exercise and mindfulness. We have been ttc for what seems like forever and after an early miscarriage and an ectopic pregancy, we are 23 weeks pregnant! Its been really hard on my mental health, nobody prepares you for pregnancy after loss. I mentioned this at by booking appointment with my midwife and she said she would looking in it for me/sort a referral. I was then told I would need to self refer to the local NHS cbt organisation. I did this and after being on the waiting list, then going through 2 assessments and waiting on the results. I've now been told they are the best people to help me and have referred me on to another service which will be pregancy and infant related. I have had to wait for the referral to be completed and am now waiting for my initial assessment. I have been told this will take about 2 months. This means I won't be getting any help until I'm around 31 weeks pregnant at the earliest. Im not sure if this is normal? I feel so alone and anxious all the time. Im worried about the well being of bambino and my mental health but I cant seem to get any help or advice from anyone.

Has anyone had anything similar? Or experience of extra mental health support in pregancy? I feel like I'm just being pushed from pillar to post

I do have an idea how you're feeling and I'm so sorry you're struggling.

I was in counselling in 2019 due to work related anxiety when found out PG. We lost our baby in Jan at same time counselling sessions ended and I struggled. We then lost another baby in April after seeing a healthy heartbeat and as a result I am convinced something is going to go wrong this PG even after getting positive news at scans.

I think I was lucky that I asked what support there was at the EPU when I found out about my 2nd loss because I knew I needed it and they told me straight that I could go through NHS but it would take time and be limited or I could pay privately and get help immediately. The EPU gave me a card for a local counsellor who specialises in pregnancy loss and we decided it was worth paying so I started counselling that week which really helped at the time. She got me through my initial grief and I've kept talking to her throughout this PG (now 27 weeks).

Honestly, it does help and if that's an option for you it might be worth considering but it isn't a magic wand. I think what you are feeling is normal and to be expected. Comparatively I have a lot of support and I still worry constantly.

The other thing I have found that has helped me is going to get answers when I'm really worried. My baby has had really erratic movements and it's worried me no end. The first time I left it a few days and ended up having a panic attack before going to A&E. The next time I just called the day unit at the hospital and went in straight away. They put me on a monitor and helped me feel so much better without getting into that state. I know that I am taking up more of the hospital's time than a lot of people and I feel guilty about that. DH and my counsellor are helping me see it as being part of my care with a mental health condition in the same way someone with a physical concern would get more appointments.

I'm not sure if that is helpful or not but I really hope you manage to get some support that works for you.

I think I understand some of what you are staying and found very little help via the nhs. I lost two babies before this pregnancy and when I mentioned to either the midwife or my consultant that I feel anxious and worried about the baby I tend to get blank looks and to be honest until I got to 28 weeks I didn't see anyone.

I was close to asking for private counselling but honestly other things have helped. Due to age I have been having scans now every 4 weeks since 28 weeks and those help put my mind at rest. Plus now the baby moves each day I feel much better.

So for me week 28 was a huge turning point where I started to feel much less anxious.

I hope for you - as the little milestones go by it will get easier. Put it this way I bought nothing for this baby until 2 weeks ago and crib still isn't up (now 37 weeks pregnant).

When I found out I was pregnant the first time, I was two months in to medication for anxiety and depression. I came off them to protect the baby, and waited months for CBT. I worried endlessly how my mental state would impact the baby. He's 4 now, and he's fine.

Depending where you live - don't forget there are many charities, like the Samaritans, who provide free support lines. Just talking through your worries with someone, even with limited counseling qualifications, could make you feel a lot better.

@welshladywhois40 useful to hear your perspective. I've bought absolutely nothing so far - I know I still have time but I feel uncomfortable about it! How did you approach it?

Thank you for your kind replies. I've had quite a tearful morning as I've been told by my MW to talk to my GP but I cant get an appointment at the moment.

I will look into private help as well. I was under the impression there was more that could be done - perhaps a mental health MW or some extra support. I complete understand that services are struggling in covid im just struggling at the moment and no one seem to be able to help