Perineal Massage

[TallulahTaboo]

Perineal massage... who's tried it? Who recommends it and who doesn't?

I have such a fear over tearing more so than labour (don't ask me why... I don't know myself) however I have been reading about perineal massage and wondered if anyone had any experiences?

I do understand if I tear, I tear and it's not the end of the world when all things are considered but there seems to be lots of information online suggesting doing it twice a week can help. So I am curious...

Also curious about this!!! I'm 31 weeks so would probably need to think about this soon.....but i don't think I'd manage it myself (from what I've read!) and I don't know if this is quite the "intimacy" my husband has been missing out on lately....😆

Like you I do worry about tearing but as it's such a normal part of childbirth I wonder is it worth the bother 🤷🏻‍♀️

No experience with massage but with first I had an episiotomy, with second I tore. Didn't feel a thing! When you're at that stage of labour every thought is on pushing, you could have a brass band march by and you wouldn't remember it! I healed much quicker from the natural tear though.

Also worrying more about tearing than birth itself. So following this thread...

I discussed with my husband and kind of implied he might have to do it. @HungryHippo20 like you said i don't think that's what he was waiting for haha
But he said if he has to he will do it. So hoping we manage to try at least!
Can't do any harm? Can it?

@fairydustandpixies

You mean the episiotomy was longer to heal?

I did this and had no tearing or episiotomies with my 3 births. Definitely recommend trying.

I think even the word 'tearing' just sounds awful so perhaps that's where my fear is stemming from.

I've watched a couple of videos online and hubby is fully on board with it! It does sound like it's uncomfortable so I'm curious to see if doing it twice a week for the next few weeks is worthwhile.

I'd also like a water birth and fully aware that you tear the most as the MW can't really coach you through pushing.

Can't harm but can help? Surely...?

I did it and had no tearing. Sample size of one though it's worth a try. Nothing to lose

@SunnySideUp2020 🤣glad it's not just me!

@Zoomaway when did you start? I'm might give this more thought. Did you manage it yourself?

I have had 10 natural births. Non medicated apart from gas and air. Some fast labours also.. No massage of any nether regions. No tears. No stitches.. No welly top either...
Now ever suggested such a thing.. Good luck with even reaching down there full term anyway!!

@Zoomaway @minnie465 ahh that's encouraging!! Thanks for commenting.

And wow @Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool 10 births!? Well done. Any labour advice for a FTM?

As daft as it sounds - try and enjoy it! Be prepared to compromise on your birth plan. Being too set on ideas can lead to disappointment and feelings of failure... A safe delivery is what's important..
Don't feel daft asking anything you aren't sure of. However silly it may be! The first dc really is a learning curve!.

Did it, only two very minor first degree years which required a couple of stitches. Who knows if it helped but would do it again.

I did it multiple times a day from 13 weeks & still got a 2nd degree tear! But the good news is I didn't feel it and had no idea it had happened until I was told. Also the stitches were fine and everything is fully healed now. It's in no way visible where I tore, it's literally like it never happened. You'll be ok

I did it, can't remember when from but I think I started quite a while before birth, and I had no tearing. I did also have a water birth which I think helped. I did it for just 5 mins every night following a bath.

This was also my fear!

I tried it once, well got my husband to do it but I found it to uncomfortable so didn’t bother with it again. I have 2 children and didn’t tear with either though. I think the reason I didn’t was that I held back pushing, I didn’t do it intensionally exactly but I was probs only pushing at 60-70% until the very end. One of my best friends had told me she pushed as hard as she could and delivered her baby in 2 pushes (ignoring the midwife she admits!), she was left hanging on with a thread, she had a v serious 3rd degree tear and took over a year to heal. She decided not to have anymore children because of it 😬.

Size and position of the baby will also an impact on your chances of tearing, my other friend had a nasty tear due to the baby having their arm up by their head, the baby was only just over 6lb. Everyone I know with 9lb ers plus had tears. My children were just over 7lb and just over 8lb, I think having the smaller one first helped me.