Please hit me with ALL the breastfeeding tips and advice

[iloveyoubutilovememore]

I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with my second and would really like to give it another go. Long story short, last time proved very difficult. Undiagnosed tongue tie resulted in us giving him formula, which then resulted in him getting used to the bottle early on. I persevered for a few weeks and pumped a LOT (which I didn't enjoy at all) and eventually milk dried up as I wasn't pumping enough. I also found it extremely painful which I know is common especially at the start.

So anyone who has tackled it can you lend me some advice? I'm looking at getting shields this time, are there any particular ones that are highly recommended? And thoughts on lactation consultants?

Thanks x

Skin to skin immediately after birth and insist on help getting the baby to latch within the first hour. Then over the next few days put the baby to the breast as much as possible. Skin to skin as much as possible. Expect it to hurt for at least a few days (possibly up-to two weeks).
Look up the best lactation consultants / tongue tie practitioners near you and make an appointment soon after birth to get everything checked over.

And expect them to want to feed constantly for the first few days then again between 2-3 weeks and 5-6 weeks. As long as there are enough pees and poos it doesn't mean your baby isn't getting enough milk.

Most of all, don't worry about it too much. Breastmilk is great but formula is a perfectly healthy food for a baby if made safely.

I just wanted to offer you some encouragement, OP. I really struggled first time round even with the help of BF advisors, but when DS2 came along, he just took to it much better. There was some initial soreness then things settled down and he successfully BF to about 8 months.

The best advice I can give is to watch some videos showing positioning and latching on - your baby needs a really wide open mouth as if they were yawning. A dainty sipping position is not right and will lead to very sore nipples and not much milk - they need a big mouthful to get the proper suck. Videos and pictures will describe it better than I can!

Unfortunately it's years since I BF my two so I don't have any useful recommendations I can pass on, but just wanted to encourage you that every baby is different and there's no reason why you can't have a great BF experience this time round.

Thanks ladies, this really helps. I just want to have as much knowledge as possible as I didn't really have any last time and the whole thing definitely contributed to me getting postnatal depression. x

La Leche league and the Kelly's mom website we're really helpful to me.

Also check and see if there are any local support groups to you. They may not have in person sessions, but can still provide support!!

Knowledge is definitely power when it comes to breastfeeding. It feels like no one actually tells you how hard it is. The main thing I had to get my head around was how often baby wanted feeding. There are times it is constant. Currently feeding DC2 who is 3 weeks old. We had help with latching at the start which has been really helpful, so I recommend using all the support available until you are happy with how it's going.

Good luck!

Imagine you are taking a bite of an apple. You open your mouth wide and aim a large area into your mouth, but only end up biting off a small bit.
That’s how baby needs to approach a breast. Mouth open wide.
Use your hand to “shove” their tiny head onto the breast. It looks harsh, but they need that little bit of help when they’re fresh out.

That apple imagery finally got my first to latch on properly after a week.

Early days- Keep bringing baby to breast, every couple of hours. Baby stimulates the milk to come in. Even if you have to wake them.
My first child was sleepy and milk took very long to come in. He was severely jaundiced as a result of not feeding enough and hospitalised.

I wish I’d known that first time round.

The new zoom era might work to your advantage.
You might be able to have video calls outside of office hours and get great advice from experts without either of you having to leave your sofa.

Good luck!

Breastfeeding hurts, I used to clamp down on a dummy while he latched. If you can stick it out it gets soo much better. After feeding dab some breast milk around the nipple and let them air if you can ;) warm showers are a god send, so are nipple shields.

Lansinoh nipple cream!

I really struggled breastfeeding DS and ended up expressing for a few weeks before my milk dried up. I expected it to be really difficult with DD too but she took to it immediately and so easily! Big difference was skin to skin (DS admitted to nicu so didn’t get this first time around) and I think me just being more relaxed about it. I was NOT prepared for how much it hurts even when everything is going great but it had settled down by 2 weeks. I was sending DP out for emergency nipple cream when DD was 3 days old and that stuff is like a miracle cream, cannot recommend it enough.

When I had.my first I got given a leaflet in hospital which showed how to get the latch right, if I remember right it was baby nose to nipple, then when they arch back and open to "root" you kind of force them on when mouth is widest. Make sure their lips are splayed out. Every single time I fed I'd follow this, and once on check position, if not right i would take him off and start again. Sometimes had to pull his lower lip down to make sure it was right. When it got too relentless I also gave the odd formula bottle, and he also had dummy from very early, day 2 or 3? I know it goes against advice but it stopped me being used as a dummy. Followed same with dd and fed both fine. I think my advice is to do a lot of watching videos, looking at pictures so you know what a good latch looks like.

You're all amazing thank you!

Yes, a dummy! My second child had a really weak mouth. I gave him a dummy to strengthen him up and not use me as a dummy.
Midwife on postnatal ward sneered, but I was confident enough to follow my instincts on that one.

Getting your source of good info and support in place before birth is invaluable.

If you can afford a lactation consultant that's probably the most efficient way. Go on the IBCLC website and use their search, then contact every one local to you and see which you get the best feeling from/find out their fee structure and waiting time if any. Hire one you feel comfortable with for a sort of "check up" home visit early on and/or get contact details so you can phone them up if you have any questions or problems.

If this is not affordable/as a supplement, look up whether you have a local branch of:

La Leche League
NCT
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
Baby Café

And if you still have a Children's Centre see whether they have a breastfeeding support group/service.

Of course a lot of the in person groups will be closed at the moment, but you may still be able to access expert advice/support via these services on a one to one basis.

It should not be extremely painful - this was probably due to the tongue tie. It can be a bit painful to start but this should be for the first ten seconds of a feed, for the first ten days or so. You should be able to get past this by counting to ten. If it's painful throughout a feed, seek advice ASAP.

I'm a bit out of date on good BF books, but two I remember being good are The Food of Love, and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Maybe there are better ones these days. Most likely your nearby specialists can advise :)

Getting shields no problem, but I wouldn't use them pre-emptively, as they can negatively affect feedback which is not great for supply. However if you're having pain and they help you to feed then that is an improvement.

'Nose to nipple and tummy to mummy' - I repeated this like a mantra when DS and I were learning to breastfeed in the early weeks! There are a couple of IBCLCs who are very active on social media and share some great resources so I suggest you follow them on Facebook to pick up more tips - Lucy Webber and Lucy Ruddle. They have videos of how to get a good latch and what different feeding positions look like and how you can tell when your baby is swallowing milk and all sorts of other useful stuff.