Can i hear from people who suffer with anxiety as standard and have had children

[Sef89]

I have a 3 year old, but suffered a loss in may, but have since been very down and anxious and i just want to know that this doesn't stop you getting pregnant, i just want to hear your success stories of being down/anxious/stressed but you got pregnant anyway. Thanks

Being anxious or down has no impact on getting pregnant. Your anxiety is telling you it might, it won't. I work in mental health, I've known hundreds of people with anxiety and depression and no problems conceiving. There is no link.

Oh thank you @trunumber you have no idea how all the stuff on the Internet about stress and relaxing and the stories of those who forgot about it then happened are absolutely making me worry over the worry. So reassuring you work in mental health too, I've never really felt this low before that's why I've started googling about it.

I have Bipolar disorder and have been on medication for it for a long long time, I didn’t struggle to get pregnant :)
I know lots of people with mental illness experiences and none of them have been unable to conceive due to anxiety.
Try to do things to help you manage anxiety. For me, taking time to myself and ensuring I ate healthily and stayed moving helped lots.
Plus having a good support network, or someone to share your anxieties with. I also see a councillor who is beyond amazing.
Please try not to worry xo

Thanks
@klouisef
That's reassuring i just get fed up of all the people that say stress won't help like you're doing it on purpose then i get scared it will stop it. x

There’s a weird belief that you can only conceive when ‘relaxed’. I’d be rich if I had a pound for every person who told me whilst TTC to ‘take time off and relax, then it’ll happen’. Relaxation has nowt to do with it or there would be no IVF pregnancies (IVF is not relaxing). Still got the anxiety, but a beautiful boy too.

I don't think it would affect actually getting pregnant but during pregnancy, if it helps, I had lots of extra support from the GP, Midwife and Health Visitor. They were really good with me and I felt so comfortable and supported. I continued medication and had regular check ins, especially in the later stages. Just be open and honest with your GP and if they are dismissive or not supportive, go elsewhere because I've had a great service so the help is out there :)

I think that way as well! It’s tough...I don’t think being stressed and anxious is good for you, more importantly, so trying to manage that as best you can is a good idea. If you are worried can you see your gp? They might be able to reassure you xo

Yes my gp and gynae have both told me depression/anxiety etc doesn't stop women getting pregnant, but its nice to actually hear examples as all thw examples I hear are those who coincidencently had a holiday or got drunk etc stuff like this and i don't drink alcohol anyway, and i went on a break in October that made no difference so just want to hear from the depressed anxious women who conceived x

@trunumber i really found your reply reassuring. So women do definitely conceive depressed and anxious and you've actually seen this.... Thank you

Thanks @celledora
So anxiety didn't affect your success..... I almost am starting to think that there's money making in telling people that stress causes infertility so people pay for reflexology, acupuncture, supplements etc

I've definitely seen it, at work and in my personal life.

I suffer with GAD and SAD, take medication to take the edge off, and even having to navigate through the shit show that is 2020 which has been awful as a GAD sufferer I managed to conceive, and I'm due in June.

Good luck! Speak to your GP, maybe think about some talking therapy it's been an excellent tool for me. I actually chose to pay private after some bad experiences of NHS funded therapy and it was hands down, the best money I've ever spent. I do understand it's not always possible to afford, but if it is something you can afford I would highly recommended it. X

@trunumber sorry to bother you again, so have you suffered from depression and anxiety personally... Tyx

Sorry I meant personally as in people in my personal life. I do have anxiety but unrelated to my fertility (I wasn't anxious at all when I was trying to conceive but I did have fertility problems so it took me a long time because of my eggs not my mental health)

@trunumber thanks. What is it you do in mental health..... Thank you

I have lifelong mental illness and fell pregnant within a few months of stopping contraception without actively trying.

I had a depressive episode in the first-second trimesters at no point was this highlighted as a risk to the pregnancy, I also stayed on medication throughout pregnancy.

Very extreme mental illness can cause issues but you are talking about experiencing a terrorism incident or warzone levels so orders of magnitude worse than the average person experiences. Even in those circumstances the majority of women would have successful pregnancies

@superscientist thanks was you suffering from depression or anxiety before you fell pregnant..... Thanks

my mood was relatively stable but with background depression and anxiety. My GP contact a psychiatrist prior to me coming off contraception for advice re medication and risk of relapse. At no point was the effect of my mood on contraception raised. Due to my history I was under the perinatal mental health team in pregnancy and the concern was only the effect of the pregnancy on my mood and never the effect of my mood on the pregnancy

I suffer with anxiety and depression and have done since I was a teenager. I was having counselling after a breakdown at work when I conceived in November 2019 after 3 yrs TTC. I lost my baby in Jan 2020 and then lost another in April 2020. My mental health went through the floor after the second loss - in the weeks just after I was having really unhealthy and irrational thoughts, panic attacks and was in just about the worst place I've been. Despite all that I still managed to get PG again and am now 27 weeks. It's pretty scary being PG after losses and although I get a lot of support those 27 weeks have been anxious ones but every time I have an appointment he seems to be absolutely fine. It is definitely possible.

I also get fed up of people telling me "worrying about it won't help you or the baby". OMG if only you'd told me that sooner - I would've stopped worrying! Because I obviously choose to be like this... Like you I did a lot of research and robust evidence linking anxiety to infertility or pregnancy loss was pretty thin on the ground. I'm not saying there isn't a link, but if there is an effect it has to be so small that it's unlikely to affect you getting PG over time.

Good luck and look after yourself.

@mimba1 thank you, so it sounds like you conceived when actually your mental health was at its worst and it didn't stop it happening for you. Do you know why it took 3 years to conceive your 1st......
It's by far the worst thing anyone can say to you when you're trying to get pregnant or when you're pregnant, and all the stuff on the Internet I'm starting to wonder if its all there to help direct vulnerable people into the hands of fertility experts.

Did you take medication for your mental health....

Thank you

Honestly I'll never know for sure but I think it was as simple as DTD more often. We'd had all the fertility testing and found nothing wrong but had been timing it around a "fertile window" with ovulation tests and BBT monitoring. The fertility nurse pointed out that there are so many uncertainties with timing that we could've just been getting it slightly wrong and missed out each month. We ended up trying every other day and after a couple of months we got our first BFP. It was challenging - my mental health definitely affected my libido - and obviously I'll never know whether this made the difference. It seemed like after the first loss my body "reset" and I started to notice more of the fertile signs people talk about (e.g. EWCM) that I hadn't had before so fell more easily 2nd and 3rd times. Again, no idea if there's any science behind that.

I've been prescribed medication but never actually taken it. I do have counselling. One good thing about having suffered mental health issues for so long is that I recognise what is happening pretty quickly and can get some support but you're right that I got PG at a pretty rough stage - the support is needed for me to cope with daily life more than for the baby.

@mimba1 thanks so do you think you wasnt timing it right then was you having intercourse at least 3 times in the fertile window or not even that much .... What is it that you did differently that made the difference... Thank you

@superscientist
Being depressed is new to me and I just wondered what depression feels like to you.... Thank you (feeling negative)

My depression comes in a few different varieties.

1. Swimming through sludge. Everything is a huge effort and I don't really feel much everything is grey and flat. I struggle to make decisions because what's the point does it matter if its a cup of coffee or a cup of tea?
2. Restless depression, every thing feels wrong but I can't figure out what. I have this nervous energy that can't be burnt off. I often have anxiety with this type of depression
3. Overwhelming sadness and I can't stop crying

There are times when they merge a bit. I get pain with them too, my insides ache so much like they have been removed with a blunt knife

@superscientist Gosh you've explained that amazingly well and that's the way i feel, no 3 quite often too. Did you say you took anti depressants.... How do you manage it?