Pregnant again! Help me

[MrsHJFL]

Hey guys, so I'm really looking for advice/experience from people who have been in similar situations. I really can't handle any judgement from people right now, so if you have nothing helpful to say I kindly request you please move on, as I really need to talk to people who can understand and help me.

6 months ago I have birth to my first child, he was 4 weeks early but healthy and is doing so so well, the light of mine and my husbands life. No issues during the pregnancy.
I've recent found out I am pregnant again. About 4 weeks. No we wasn't trying and I was on contraception. I've spoken to my doctor and there are reasons why we have fallen pregnant again, but it's irrelevant to my questions..

I'm pregnant, and I am happy about it, we both are. However.. I am worried.. naturally.. about having a baby so soon after my first baby...

So I was wondering if anyone else out there has had a baby very soon after their last child, and can shine any advice, experience, comfort on any of the following worries I have...

Here we go..

1.ive read online your body might not be ready to have another baby after 6 months of birth, did you have any complications during your 2nd pregnancy or was it normal (could your body cope again so soon?) I am a forumla feeding mum BTW if that helps :)

1. How did you juggle having 2 very young children at the same time? My son will be around 1yr 3months when my 2nd child is born.. Did you still find time for baby number 1? How was it for you mentally?

3.if you work, how did you tell your managers you was pregnant again? And how did they take it? I'm still on maternity leave from work.. And I'm scared to tell them I'm pregnant again before I'm even back!!

I feel like I have more questions but my head is in such a spin at the moment I can't focus..

Whe. I think of the others I'll post, just hope there's someoneh out there who's going/been through the same as me.

xx

Mine were close in age. Not quite as close as yours though. My older one was down to one nap a day when my younger was born. They would have the same afternoon nap time. If older dc had been much older, she wouldn't have still been having naps. Synchronised nap times were golden. They played together a lot as they were not too far apart. They did dance and gymnastic classes at the same time (and i drank tea in costa for an hour and a half). Swimming classes were one after the other because they were so close in age / stage.

My friend had hers about the same gap as you and while the early days were really exhausting (but by the time baby 2 was born she was a single mum, and dad walked away from the all and never looked back), she was doing the same activities with both of them as they were both roughly at the same stage and into the same things.

Ive a friend who had a 5 year gap and their weekends are still (one is 11) a constant compromise, or splitting into two, because their stages and interests are so different.

Not personal experience but one of the mums in my antenatal class had babies 11 months apart. She had already decided to be a sahm with #1, she was worried but loved it. She got a part time au pair in to help at the beginning as #1 was a poorly baby and lots of allergies. Once she was in a routine she took over everything herself. I havnt seen her in a while but I know her 2 were very close and happy.

I also come from a big family my Nan practically popped one out every year, 2 uncles are only 10 months apart, in her day it was common and she just got on with it. So women can definitely have babies close together

I had first 2 children with 17 months apart and then a third child unexpectedly almost 8 years after 2nd was born. My 1st child, dd, was such a good baby fed well and slept all night by 7 weeks old. We thought this is fantastic we will do it again. 2nd child was far more difficult. He had colic, did not feed as well but did sleep very well. Then we found out he had hypothyroidism. No wonder he slept all the time. He was put on medication. As a girl and boy some activities done together swimming and later horse riding. Some done apart dd did piano and dance and Ds did rugby. They never played much together. However both dd and ds1 both loved having ds2. Both were very gentle with.him and he was a sunny smily child. As adults they all get on well together. Sons go to cinema or out for a meal together. When first 2 were both tiny it was hard work but I packed them up and drove to beach in summer or picnics. In winter we went for long walks picking up leaves, pine cones, conquors or whatever in season. DS 1 was hyperactive. A trampoline kept him busy.

Mine are 16 months apart and I found going from 1 to 2 a doddle compared to 0 to 1...

#2 slotted in. I was far less uptight with #2 and it was all so much more relaxed. We'd all cuddle in bed during nap times and it was bliss having a sleeping baby either side. I could pop them into the double buggy and go on lovely long walks. We didn't have to get up to do the school run or be back to pick up. They had similar toys and tv programmes.
As they've grown up they're best friends, they entertain each other, play crazy imaginative games, share they're toys and books, negotiate with each other about what to watch on TV, they're in cahoots with each other and have started sneaking down in the morning to each pain au chocolat!

Now, there were some utter shit days when they'd tag team massive poos just as I'd strapped them into the car and then by the time I'd cleaned and changed them one or both would need a feed and before I knew it the day was abandoned, or days when one was teething and one was jealous of the attention, or when they both had chicken pox, or days when they don't get along, or days when they both just cried because that's what babies do...

But overall, I have many many lovely memories.

Good luck, OP. You'll find your own rhythm and routine.

PS meal planning and prepping changes my life... spending Sunday afternoon chopping veg is shit but you reap those rewards when you can pull out the veg sticks one handed in 3s and knock up some dinner one handed!!

There is only 10 months between my dp and his brother. It will be hard work, but it's doable.

I'm pregnant, and I am happy about it, we both are.

This, right here, is the only thing that really matters. Your body can handle this, your job will work itself out. Life may be crazy for a while, but so long as both you and your husband are happy about this baby, everything will be just fine.

I know a few people that have an age gap of around a year between two children. I don’t think it’s that unusual, you’ll be fine!

Mine are 11 months apart - its amazing how you just adapt and get on with it - you'll be fine I'm an older mum at 44 but still manage it no problem - a real blessing

My first two are 16 months apart. We were sort of trying, but didn't expect it to happen literally the first time of trying, not after it took almost a year to conceive the first time. I swear I was in shock for the first few months.

I had a textbook easy pregnancy both the first time and the second time, and a much quicker birth. I was breastfeeding and second time round it was so easy. I had zero issues, my body coped just fine. Mentally fine too. Not quite so fine after my third a couple of years later, but that's another story.

Juggling two little ones is hard, I won't lie, but we got there. The best thing was zero jealousy from DS1 as within two weeks he'd forgotten that there was a time DS2 wasn't there. I did feel some mum guilt that DS1 didn't have me to himself for very long but I just had to get over that. Seeing the two of them starting to interact was the best thing ever, a real joy. DH was always very hands on so I got time with just DS1.

Work. Well, I went back at five months pregnant, trying to hide the bump under baby clothes, but it really was too obvious to hide! I was only back three months before I went off again on maternity leave. I didn't tell them officially until I had to, even though it was glaringly obvious Work had to suck it up, I took what I was legally entitled to which being public sector was generous.

Don't worry, you'll be just fine.

I have the same gap you'll have and really it's not as hard as you think it will be. Like the previous poster said 1-2 was easier than 0-1!
Eldest didn't walk until 19 mths so it was a bit difficult for the first few months but they napped at the same time, play groups and rhyme time etc worked for them both and we got rid of nappies and plastic tat much quicker than we would've with a bigger gap.
I was very nervous about telling work about the second pregnancy but it worked out fine and with annual leave and a few weeks unpaid I didn't go back in between but did only have 9 months off after DC2. I found a fantastic childminder which worked out cheaper than nursery and I've made it to tweenage without going crazy.
They are both very different and now have very different interests so no joint hobbies but they do seem to mostly like each other.

I’m pregnant since my baby was 7 months and like you happy about it. Work not happy but legally can’t do anything about it as you are protected with pregnancy. I waited till 14 weeks to tell them. So far this pregnancy is better than the first(had very bad health, pre eclampsia , liver issues and diabetes. We are assuming I have diabetes now and the diet I’m on is for that but everything else is fab! We wanted more kids but didn’t want a big gap or to wait as risks get higher the older you get! I feel my body is coping better this time and we also have all the baby stuff safe from baby n.1, just need a double pram now!

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and kind words, you've helped me more then I can express