Second baby - what to do with toddler during labour!

[RMarieClaire]

DC2 due 2 May (but expecting an early appearance as DC1 came at 37 weeks). My LG Will be around 22 months. I don't know what we'll do with her during labour and delivery so would love to hear what others did.

Because my first labour was fast (4 hrs) we'd ideallly like a homebirth but will depend if they're running again.

Grandparents live 2-3 hours away and have barely see her in past year because of COVID. No close friends locally though some Mum friends who could take DD short term.

Ideally she'd be at nursery but that's a game of luck! So many unknowns at the moment.

Would love to hear what others did!

As far as I'm aware, home births are continuing as normal. At least in my area they are.
We have bubbled with SIL and bil for this purpose so ds will go there, he is 2. Dh will pick him up after he's left me in hospital. I hope to be out the following day or day 2.

In the same predicament. My parents are 3-4 hours away and DHs are im the late 70s and it's not fair to ask them. I have a few friends I think we will ask as a stop gap solution until my parents could take over. But DD (just turned two) has only seen them twice this year so it's not ideal...

@Pearsapiece unfortunately my friend - who is having her second at the same hospital as me - was told yesterday they're paused as they can't guarantee an ambulance. I'm hoping this may have changed by the time I'm due in spring but so hard to know. Even with her home I'm not sure what we'd do with DD as our house is quite open plan, but it's definitely preferable!

@Workingmama1 it's hard isn't it! Tier 4 here so very hard for her to get to know anyone at all. She has not been in anyone else's house for months, so would be tough for her to I think. We've never spent a night apart and that's unlikely to change (had hoped to do a hotel stay as a baby moon but looking unlikely!) so I really don't want to be in hospital for long periods either. Tough to plan with everything so changeable! When are you due?

I had a home birth with 2nd DC and it was quick, early morning but DD1 was awake and me and DH were able to look after her fine up until 20 minutes before I gave birth when my mum arrived and took her into her bedroom to play. If my mum couldn't have come over I would have asked a local friend to pop over when we could no longer cope on our own. I remember changing DD1s nappy and having to stop for a painful contraction. She was only 2 but competely non plusssed by it all. Then we stuck her in front of the ipad with some snacks until my mum arrived, she was oblivious to the chaos going on around her! My mum was literally needed for an hour max, while I pushed out DD2 and got stitched back up.

Home births are suspended in my area

I'm having a c section but as it's twins they could make an early appearance - my parents are on standby to make the 2 hour journey whatever the time we don't have friends we can rely on - DH would have to take me to hospital and then sit with DD in the car till they can get here if it was the middle of the night.

DD is a bit older though and we have a childminder so if it happens during the day then she could stay at Childminder's until a bit later

You might be lucky and give birth at night while she sleeps through it all.

But definitely line up someone who lives nearby, ideally a friend or kind neighbour but could also be a babysitter or childcare professional, maybe even a nursery worker if it happens outside nursery hours?

Another option is to hire a doula to support you while your DH looks after DC1.

If your first labour was only 4 hours long it's likely you won't have time to get to hospital. Have you asked the midwife about that possibility? Surely they'd have to send a midwife out to you even if they couldn't guarantee an ambulance?

With my second baby, born at home, I had no idea how advanced my labour was until I felt the urge to push No way could I have got into the car let alone made it to hospital!