How did your other half take the news?

[MariaK91]

I'm not a mother yet, but since 28 I've started to feeling increasingly broody (like my heart actually aches sometimes with wanting - has anyone else felt that?). My DH also wants children and we are planning to start trying for a baby next year or the year after. I was just wondering, when you told your other half, how did they take the news? Like did they cry with happiness/misery, be really calm & cool, jump and scream, sheer panic?

Movies make it look so magical, so I'm really just interested in real stories.

My DH is not very outwardly expressive so I imagine even if he feels like he's about to burst he'll probably be a cool cucumber. What was it like for you?

I got my BFP this morning (5am!). Showed him my test while he was half asleep so took him a few seconds to register, then he kind of went "mmmmm!" In a pleasantly surprised tone. He was very quiet for rest of the morning before he left for work, think he was a in shock like me! But got a message at lunch time saying he is very excited.

So no explosive reaction from this side!

Just to manage expectations it's very rarely like it is in the movies 🤣🤣

Very few men are that expressive when it comes to telling them about impending fatherhood - they usually have a look of complete panic on their faces 🤣

I think first time DH just said "yeah? You sure?!" Er yeah I'm bloody sure! But we lost that baby at 12 weeks. The next time i got up at 4am or something to do the test so he was half asleep and just grunted and went back to sleep I think! That was a successful pregnancy. After DD we had another 5 losses so both our responses were a bit muted waiting for the inevitable bad news. I'm currently 32 weeks with twins and waited until Father's Day to tell him and announced it was twins - he looked shell shocked at that one - I still don't think he has recovered 🤣but no Oscar winning epic moment sorry!

First time - he cried and held me so tight! It was really lovely. That sadly was ectopic and received treatment the following week.

This time - I put the pregnancy tests in a box under the Christmas tree. He opened the box, stared into it for a few seconds then sort of said ‘no...’ as in ‘no way’ 😂 he then practically rugby tackled me onto the sofa to cuddle me. He’s a lot more apprehensive this time compared to last time but I think that’s expected due to the history!

He was in the second bathroom and I knew he would be a while as he took the newspaper with him so I knocked on the door and told him to hurry up.

The poor guy came rushing out panicking that something bad had happened so when I showed him the test, he was initially stunned and speechless. After about 30 seconds, once it registered, he started laughing and got teary.

I didn't believe the test though, so we did the classic thing of going to Waitrose the second it opened (it was a Sunday) and buying two sets of tests to be sure!

Not excited /emotional really either time, but we aren't like that as people - our engagement was very low-key, wedding was small, reception at my parents' house etc.

First time we'd been trying for over a year and were pretty worn out by the whole process. He then had a bit of a panic about whether we were ready or not (as many people do when the reality hits, even for a much wanted baby). We're both science-minded so he understood the biology/risks of miscarriage etc and so never really wanted to get ahead of himself.

Second time, we started trying 'early' as it had taken so long the first time - pregnant 2nd month of trying. Again, he wasn't excited - quite shocked / doubted if we were ready again as it happened quicker than expected and because of COVID/ the fact we needed to move house (and still do with me now 25 weeks along!)

He's started to get more engaged now he can feel kicks sometimes, but pregnancy is very different for someone it's not happening to! He has always been good during pregnancy and looked after me (although I've been pretty easy). But basically, the minute our son was born, he was amazing (even though the first few weeks in particular were very stressful and difficult for the both of us) and now my son is a toddler, he is wonderful with him.

So really - long story short - unless your partner usually acts like a cliche from the movies, they probably won't act that way for a pregnancy either!

For us it wasn't really just one moment as when I did the pregnancy test there was a faint line so I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up including my own. A few days later I did another test and it was clearly positive. I was still unsure that it was really happening I'd expected to try for at least a few months before it worked. Also I didn't know that cramping and period like pain could be a symptom of pregnancy. So I still wanted to wait a week or more to confirm that it was true.

We had a few moments of hugs and "could it really be?"

Ds1 (planned) gave me a lovely big cuddle and was chuffed..,

DS2 (surprise as DS1 was only a year old) he wasn't quite so excited

He didn't believe me 😂

We had been trying for 10 months, my cycles were very long and varied from 28 days to 50 odd. I had thought I was going to get a positive so many times so we just thought it was another one of my long cycles.

We had bought a new house but were staying with his parents as we weren't getting keys to our house for another few weeks. It was a Saturday morning. I got up went for a pee, did a test. Came back in to the room with the test. I was stood over it not paying attention casually talking to him. Then I thought oh I better take a look. I cld clearly see the 2 lines. I said something that made no sense. I said oh my god it is, it is. Followed by its positive. Then I jumped up and down and did a little dance. My DH was like oh let me see it, with an eye roll too (totally not believing me). He was like hmmmm I don't believe those cheap ones are accurate!

We had plans that day that cldnt be changed so I didn't manage to get a clear blue test until dinner time. He cldnt argue with pregnant on the test and then was excited.

He was actually the same second time round 😂 the test line was soooo feint though and we hadn't bn long trying. The line also came up after the 5mins. It was the same for the next week the line was so feint but got a clear blue and no mistaking it 😬

My ex:

Pregnancy 1 (with him) "cool, my stuff works wasn't sure it would"

Pregnancy 2 : "that was quick!" To be fair it was and there'd been a lot of medical "run up" and issues this was 3rd pregnancy overall i had mc previous 2 pregnancies and then needed a load of treatment inc surgeries so I was surprised too! Both planned but both happened faster than we expected, we were thinking it'd take a while.

Pretty blasé/laid back both times but that's how he was usually.

However, apparently upon being told by ow she was pregnant weeks after I'd booted him out for cheating his immediate response was "wtf! You'll have to get rid!" Charmer!

From friends and family I've heard of varying reactions from calm and laid back to disbelief (inc the mothers) and to elation but sometimes anger/disappointment depending on the circumstances

The best one was a neighbour who gave birth having not realised she was pregnant at all! I'd seen her just a few days earlier, she was very slim and no hint of a bump! Her husband apparently when he called 999 to say his wife was apparently very ill and in great pain and couldn't speak to say what she thought was "wrong" upon following directions and realising she was in fact in labour and the call handler started directing him how to help her until ambulance arrived said "I can't deliver a baby I'm just a bloody squaddie I failed my last 1st aid thingy!" But of course he managed it and was very proud of the fact

One friends husband just went "nope! Not possible" planned as well! But again happened much earlier than they thought it would. Friend was like "erm 3 tests would disagree with you love"

First time, I tested on the morning we were going to drive down to Manchester to stay with my parents ahead of a trip to Morocco for our first anniversary. We both burst into tears.

Second time our football teams were playing against each other and I told him he had scored. He looked at me nonplussed as it was 1-1 at the time, I then showed him the test. He was elated, laughing and crying.

This time I tested at 12.10am on xmas eve. He was asleep and kind of mumbled yay. When he woke up in the morning he did extra prayers as thanks and said it was the best news he had all year. He has had the biggest grin on his face since.

Mine laughed then cried and hugged me. It was really lovely ❤️

Ours was unplanned, we had only been together a couple of months, so I was nervous about telling him. But he was really happy - said it was wonderful news, then went and made a shepherd's pie and told me to stop looking worried!

First time - we were just getting into bed and I passed him the test from my dressing gown pocket. He kind of gasped ‘you’re pregnant?!’ And then gave me a huge hug.

Second time we were in the bathroom bathing 15 month old DD. I’d done a test but didn’t expect it to be positive at all, looked down and saw two very clear lines and practically threw it at poor DH, who laughed and said ‘oops, that was quick!’ (Start of lockdown and emotions were high, I was worried as we’d only tried that month!)

Third time (Christmas Eve just gone so very recent!) I came out the bathroom sobbing because we’d been trying since we lost pregnancy two in May with no luck and this was a definite positive. He just hugged me and rubbed my tummy and tried to reassure me this time would be okay.

He’s a good egg bless him. Doesn’t do the overdramatic movie reactions but always reacts well!

Mine was stunned into silence and had to have a sit down but that’s because he had been told a few years ago after some tests that it would be difficult for him so he had kind of accepted it wouldn’t happen (and I had only had my coil out 6 weeks!) Once he came back down to earth he was very excited and proceeded to try and wrap me in cotton wool and make me lots of cups of decaf tea 😂

First time he was cautiously happy - tests were a bit ambiguous so we got a clear blue just to clear it up. Then he was very smiley and kept hugging me haha.

Second time was kind of tricky - unplanned and we found out 1 month before he went on a 6 month tour of Afghanistan. So he was a bit worried about how I’d cope with a toddler on my own whilst pregnant. Not as excited as first time round but when he met his son for the first time he full on sobbed! 😍

This time was similar to the first - cautiously excited when we got the faint lines, but then once the clear blue confirmed it he was happy. It took him a few days for it to sink in as we thought it might take a while (took us 2 months).

Mine didn't really believe it until we had the first scan. He went really quiet in the room 😂

He then proceeded to buy a lot of scan photos!