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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

How painful is childbirth on a scale of 1-10?

457 replies

Blackitty · 28/12/2020 01:33

1 being a breeze
and ...
10 being the absolute worst pain imaginable?

I am due in March. First baby and would like to know what I’m in for...

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winterbabythistime · 29/12/2020 09:54

@MintChocAddict both of mine were back to back. First labour was far worse than second though.

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 29/12/2020 09:57

@Blackitty

Why do so few women in this country get an epidural? I don’t understand.
Because they've all fallen for the it's what your body is naturally meant to do nonsense spouted by the NCT
winterbabythistime · 29/12/2020 10:01

Why do so few women in this country get an epidural? I don’t understand.

I begged for one when I arrived at hospital to have my second. Was told it was too late, too late for pethidine too.
I'm really glad I didn't have one as I was up about very quickly afterwards.

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 29/12/2020 10:06

1 but I had an ELCS. Probably inched up to a 2/3 on day 2 but they give you some painkillers and it goes away pretty quick.
Big advantage of section for me was that I was 100% lucid and aware of my baby being born. Most of my friends who didn't have sections said they were so off their heads due to exhaustion, terror, drugs etc by the time the baby arrived that the actual birth is really hazy/they don't remember it at all

TanglinOrchards · 29/12/2020 10:08

@winterbabythistime

Why do so few women in this country get an epidural? I don’t understand.

I begged for one when I arrived at hospital to have my second. Was told it was too late, too late for pethidine too.
I'm really glad I didn't have one as I was up about very quickly afterwards.

I do think there is a slight contempt for labouring women and we are told to just suck it up.

I had a very bad labour for DS1. I had spd and like a previous poster and history of slipped discs. In my teens i had broken several vertebrates in a car crash and pelvis and it all added up to difficulties in pregnancy and birth. I was actually passing out between contractions. yet i overheard a midwife at the shift changeover sneer to the new one coming in that i was 'making heavy weather' of it.

emergency c-section, a post partum haemmorhage later.....

TanglinOrchards · 29/12/2020 10:12

I am going to edit to add {sometimes] there is a slight contempt for labouring women. By some professionals. Not all.

LadyFlumpalot · 29/12/2020 10:13

First baby - about a 5. Second - 10.

It's a weird pain though, it's not like a headache or a broken arm. You can almost "go into it" and it just becomes part of you. If you don't fight the pain it's not that bad. Time goes wobbly as well. I remember with my first it was 3:30am, then it was midday all of a sudden.

My second hurt so much more because there were some complications that meant I had to fight the contractions for a little while (was being transferred by ambulance).

8lue8ird · 29/12/2020 10:14

I am always very surprised when women say that childbirth isn't the most excruciating pain they've ever imagined. I am definitely not one of those women Grinsorry.

The pain with a first is quite intense and shocking I found but when you know what to expect with subsequent babies, it's all the more manageable. However, as you can see that is just my singular experience.

It's weird how almost immediately after though, when the pain completely disappeared,I felt the most joyous sense of calm and euphoria that I've never ever felt in any other situation, it really is quite wonderful.

PinkFondantFancy · 29/12/2020 10:18
  1. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Much easier than being pregnant, much easier than sleep deprivation, much easier than appendicitis Grin
WednesdayAllTheWay · 29/12/2020 10:30

Not sure it's a good idea to ask! Well I would say I have forgotten now, but I know it was bad, but not as bad as I expected. Baby was back to back so the pain was all in my back which was much more manageable, and a TENS machine and heat pack was great as long as I stayed upright. Gas and air was enough pain relief, and for the last hour or so while pushing baby out I felt no pain whatsoever and didn't need the gas.

everybodysang · 29/12/2020 10:40

I've already answered but just read more answers and want to say that while a positive mindset and knowledge of hypnobirthing techniques will do no harm - I went in armed with both of those - what WILL do harm is if that you still have a dreadful labour where you both nearly die and then you have to read people wanging on about how you just need to 'let go and let your body do it's thing' etc - if it all goes wrong it is NOT your fault and I think if I had read more people saying that and less people - who were fortunate enough to have a decent birth experience - saying they just breathed through it and you'll be fine because everyone is fine and you forget the pain etc etc, I would perhaps have not ended up with quite the degree of complex PTSD that I did.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 29/12/2020 10:47

Hypobirthing never says ‘just let your body do its thing’.

I used to teach it and always emphasised that you have to listen to your medical staff - but ask questions, be informed, know what will happen next. I just had one mum who was taken in for an early emergency c-section birth but she and her husband told me that because they stayed calm and focussed they felt they managed the stress better than if they had been scared and panicky. I’d also emphasised that there is no ‘right’ way to give birth - no ‘fails’.

Anyone who tells you that you just ignore medical advice is a twit!

Haggertyjane · 29/12/2020 10:58

10 if you have no pain relief at all. 8 if you have the usual run of the mill things.

mumwon · 29/12/2020 11:11

every birth experience is different - as pp have stated even in the case of same woman different pregnancies
I had complex labours (!!!!) which were always more likely to be painful but - even after the first one (which was bad) I still went on to have others - planned & wanted = because it was worth it. Don't focus on the labour except as a process for the hoped for outcome - your baby - & for that it something to look forward to

inquietant · 29/12/2020 11:14

Why do so few women in this country get an epidural? I don’t understand.

Lots of extremely reliable evidence that epidurals lead to other complications, that can result in longer-term damage/pain.

redcandlelight · 29/12/2020 11:22

Why do so few women in this country get an epidural? I don’t understand.

I wanted to leave hospital as soon as possible after birth (post natal wards are dire!)
epidural would have meant at least one night on a 6-to-a-room ward. 6 mothers plus their babies plus their visitors that is.

justanotherneighinparadise · 29/12/2020 11:23

Over a 10 but I’d do it again tomorrow. It’s a total trip.

unmarkedbythat · 29/12/2020 11:27

@Blackitty

Why do so few women in this country get an epidural? I don’t understand.
Not wanting the cascade of interventions that can follow, I imagine.
Orichette · 29/12/2020 11:29

@unmarkedbythat ha ha can’t tell if sarcasm or not? I literally used the phrase ‘cascade of interventions’ in my post above about the ridiculous scare tactics of the NCT...

Whiskeylover45 · 29/12/2020 11:32
  1. Sorry. But there. Is a point to it, a lovely one and the pain vanishes once babies out xx
unmarkedbythat · 29/12/2020 11:35

Yes, I saw your post. You can call them ridiculous scare tactics, others may see it as giving information on which to make a decision. There is a balance to be found and I have little time for ultras on either side- if a medically managed birth is what makes a woman feel safe and supported she should have it, if one avoiding interventions is what makes a woman feel safe and supported she should have that. There is no glory in avoiding epidurals, and no shame in wishing to do so either.

But when you're being scornful about NCT advice, maybe bear in mind that not everyone shares your view on it.

donnager · 29/12/2020 11:42

I would say for me it was about a 8until I went into the birthing pool and it went up to 100 straight away. I have a good pain threshold (so I thought) considering the numerous times I've dislocated my knees and broken limbs through sport but this pain was on another level. I met a midwife at a friends wedding once and we were talking about childbirth and she said it's painful to most people. Only a handful of people she has helped deliver were ok but they had easy births and she wishes everyone an easy birth as soon as they walk through the doors. If you get put on the drip, that's another story and don't be afraid to ask for an epidural as my friend was on one and her veins were popping from her neck and eyes were literally coming out of its sockets from screaming in pain so much.

Gwlondon · 29/12/2020 11:52

5 - it’s not that bad. It’s intense but I wouldn’t describe it as pain. It’s a full body feeling. Like a bad fever. One labour I pushed. (Like doing a big poo) The labour I didn’t push and she came out with the contractions. She sort of went back and forwards a few times then came out. Every labour is different so try let go of what you are expecting. Aim for what you want but also let go of an ideal.

(I have had my wisdom teeth out under general anaesthetic (10). I had a biopsy of my breast while I was engourged (10) but for a short amount of time while they took the biopsy. That was the worst experience of my life)

Rodders92 · 29/12/2020 11:56

There are a lot of countries with far higher epidural rates than the UK but with much lower rates of assisted birth one article here journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1003103

It is often quoted that epidurals lead to a cascade of intervention but not really borne out by more recent research.

ArosAdraDrosDolig · 29/12/2020 12:00

Yeah sorry, it’s a 10+. But I found it better without drugs or medical intervention in spite of that. I know that makes no sense but for my first I had an epidural and the faff afterwards and needing a catheter and recovery made it not worth it.
DC2 I had a home birth and had a shower and sleep in my own bed afterwards.

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