Emergency c-section, feeling down

[bleachblondemom]

I had an EMCS last Wednesday, and whilst it wasn’t exactly the birth I had planned, it hasn’t made me feel too bad. I really wanted to give birth naturally but I accepted pretty quickly that that’s not how it happened and that’s fine.
However I am feeling a bit upset that I haven’t been given any sort of advice on what to expect now. I had major surgery but no one has explained to me what has actually happened to my body, how I might look/feel afterwards and what any long term effects there might be. I don’t mean to be shallow but I looked at my stomach properly for the first time this morning and it looks so awful. Is that it forever? Nobody has talked to me about how my body is going to change.
The other thing that is making me sad is that I always wanted a lot of kids, at least 3 if not 4, and I know I can still have a vaginal birth after a c-section but what if that fails again? Surely I can’t just keep having c-sections over and over again. Do I need to give up my dream of a big family?

Congratulations on your little arrival. I had a c section 4 weeks ago. All i was told was how to keep my scar clean and to not lift anything heavy or do anything strenuous. My stomach feels strange and i have numbness in parts. From speaking to colleagues that have had c sections, the weird sensations don't go away. Ive been told my stomach will shrink a bit more in time. As for having a big family, my auntie has had 3 c sections and it hasn't caused her any long term problems that i know of.

Congratulations on your new baby.

Your hospital should have a birth after thoughts service that you could talk to. I found it very helpful after our third baby was born. All three of mine were born by emcs. I had complications in the second two deliveries that were made more likely because I had had a previous c/s, but I was very unlucky and most women who’ve had one c/s are excellent candidates for VBAC.

Congratulations! And a lot of your emotions right now are probably because of the bigger hormonal storm going on - that usually fades after the first couple of weeks although sleep deprivation doesn't help after that. I had a C-section three years ago and just realised recently that I can barely work out where the scar is. It is terrible how little they tell you about how to look after the muscles and scar though. The main thing that I found was to be careful about straining the muscles for several months. I had another baby 21 months later and managed to give birth vaginally despite him being huge and needing to be induced because he was very late. I doubt my stomach is going to be properly flat again but I think that's mainly my huge 1yr-olds fault

I have had 3 c sections, and am due my 4th in March so don’t worry about not being able to have a big family. They do recommend not getting pregnant quickly afterwards though. My kids are 12, 10, 6 (and soon to arrive).

As for your stomach, it will go back down. I’ve been pretty lucky in that it has gone flat again after each one (it took longer and longer each time). I know some women who had csections who were left with a very small ‘shelf’ (I don’t know how else to explain it), one hated it so much she had a mini-tummy tuck to get rid of it, another loved hers and saw it as proof of her motherly bad-assery. There is no right or wrong way to feel about it, and fuck anyone who judges.

I would strongly recommend a belly wrap to help support you while you recover. I found they gave me loads more confidence to start exercising again when the time came, and I credit them with helping me flatten my stomach out again (I started wearing mine very soon after giving birth though).

Take it very easy for now. It’s easy to think you’re more recovered than you are and overdo it, and then pay for it for a few days after.

As other women have said, VBACs are common (I wasn’t allowed because my babies were so big) so one csection doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have to have another.

Congratulations on your little ones arrival, and be kind to yourself (especially while you recover!).

Ive had 4 sections, my first was an emcs, 2nd was because dc was transverse and then vbac was not an option. My age gaps were 2.3 years, 3.3 years and 15 months and all dc weighed in between 9lb and 11.6lbs so I do have an overhang, not that it bothers me.

The bit that I find odd 8 years on is that bit that feels numb but not completely numb. It hurts when you start moving again but like with all things take your time and at your own pace. The injections were fun - I made hubby do them but my scar is virtually invisible.

I had an EMCS with my DS, 5 years ago. The area was numb I would say for up to about a year but I now have complete feeling around my scar. I don't have an overhang and my stomach went back to normal after.
I remember getting home from hospital and having a proper wash and I looked in the mirror and thinking omg my stomach looks like it's disfigured! So I do now how you feel, but please be kind to yourself, you've just gone through major surgery. It won't stay like that forever

Thank you everyone, think I’m just having a bad day today. But I do feel like I should’ve been given more information about my c-section before I left the hospital. Shouldn’t really be having to rely on google and all the conflicting information. I’m now worrying about things like my stomach muscles and my ability to carry & birth future children. Would’ve been nice if someone had gone through all this with me afterwards.
My baby wasn’t super big, he was 8lbs and two weeks overdue as well, so hopefully I won’t have issues with future big babies but you never know do you, they’re all different.
I’ll have a look at a belly wrap, heard of them but wasn’t entirely sure what they were for.

I had and EMCS first time around and felt awful for it. Got pregnant within a year after it, ended up with another EMCS. Second time around they told me to wait around a year if I wanted another baby. I didn’t, 2 children are enough for me.
Years passed and I’m happy that my children are ok. Doesn’t matter anymore which way they were born.
I had the second scar at exactly same place as the first one and you wouldn’t say it was there. It’s nearly invisible. The area is a bit numb. My tummy area is not beautiful because I wasn’t in a perfect shape to start with, unfortunately. But my sister in law has a perfect figure after 2 CS, so it depends.

Scarring and stretch marks don’t bother me in the slightest, just my actual stomach shape looks horrible. I’m not naive, I knew full well I’d still be big for a while and it would take a while plus some hard work to lose the baby weight, and I’m only a week postpartum, but it was a bit of a shock to see how much of my tummy is hanging over the scar.

@bleachblondemom
I’ve been shocked as well, heartbroken even. It will change because you’re still swollen and healing and even after vaginal birth it takes time for the tummy to get back into the same shape.

I had a fairly traumatic assisted delivery with my first and know that feeling of the birth not going as you want it. It's hard coming to terms with it, especially you've got hormones all over the place. I had an ELCS for my second just over a month ago and I'd say there's been a big difference in how much my body has shrunk from 3 weeks pp to 4 weeks pp. You're still completely battered from major surgery right now with a body that took nearly 10 months to grow into one shape so it takes time to get back to something like normal. Be kind to yourself and take it easy.

@Ticklemynickel thank you that puts things into perspective a bit.

Everybody’s comments have made me feel a lot better, thank you.