AIBU to buy baby new clothes?

[Brobbles]

Sorry this is a really stupid and non important question I know. I am expecting baby number 2 who is another girl, there will be just over 2 years between her and DD. I have kept almost all of her clothes in case we had another baby and I just sorted through them all but I really don’t like very many of them. I had quite bad pre and postnatal depression with DD and I bought the bare minimum before she was due as I was worried about things going wrong, I was very anxious. I literally bought the first few bundles of newborn and 0-3 I found on eBay and that was it. Most of the rest of her 0-3 and 3-6 were gifts from friends and family although I did buy her a few bits in the sales. For 6-9 and 9-12 I again just bought a couple of big second hand bundles that I didn’t even really look through properly because I didn’t have the mental energy or headspace to get excited about baby clothes.

I feel very guilty about this even though it’s a bit irrational. I am in a better place this time round and more excited about planning for this baby and a bit part of me really wants to replace a lot of the clothes we have. I’m lucky that we could afford it, although I would still try to get bits in sales or second hand and not go over the top. But it feels a bit unnecessary and wasteful and then also makes me feel even more guilt about DD1, like the clothes were good enough for her but not good enough for the new baby. I know I’m probably being really hormonal and silly but I don’t know what to do! Any advice? Thank you.

Buy whatever you want! I'm also expecting my second DD and, whilst I have kept some of the clothes from DD1 that I loved, I have given lots to charity and bought new. Your tastes change, and especially if you associate looking at those clothes with being in a bad place. Donate all the ones you don't want and get what you do want. Why shouldn't your new baby have some new things too? Don't be so hard on yourself x

Go for it and donate the other clothes, it would only be unreasonable to send them to landfill if they can still be used

Absolutely agree, donate any clothes you don’t like, especially if they bring back difficult memories, and enjoy being excited about buying new ones.

I’m sure DD2 will have lots of DD1s old clothes in the years to come, so there’s no harm in having some new things too x

Oh yeah, sending them to the landfill is totally unreasonable. OP please think of the environment, you know cause there’s so much already in the landfill you don’t wanna add to it Do you?

You are not being silly OP. It’s exciting to go baby shopping or doing online should I say due to Covid.

Thank you all, no I would definitely never throw anything in the bin unless it was stained beyond redemption! And even then I would put it in textiles recycling. We are in tier 4 so our charity shops are now closed again but I would offer them on our local freecycle if I can’t manage to donate to a charity.

Some of the clothes do remind me of being very depressed, in particular her winter coat which makes me feel so ashamed to say but I used to take her out for walks in the buggy when she was wearing the coat and just cry and cry. I feel so guilty.

@Brobbles just bag them all up and put them in the loft until the charity shops are open/tiers are relaxed. Don't feel guilty at all, it's fine to share clothes between children but also, if you can afford it, it's absolutely fine to buy new! And remember this time you probably won't get lots of clothes for presents because of the restrictions/people not being able to visit you etc. It's your baby, your money, do whatever you want. I hope you enjoy your newborn, it sounds like you had a pretty rough time last time x

Don't feel guilty I have brought some new bits for 2ds will use most from first ds, still need to go through all his old bit and may find quite a few bits don't work as he was prem so if I come across anything that makes me sad I will not use it. it also gives me great joy to buy new cute wee clothes of this baby

@boymum88 my DD was also prem (which didn’t help with the depression and anxiety as she was poorly and we had to stay in hospital a while and she has also had some long term effects of it we think). So the first 2 months or so are just a blur and I associate all her first clothes with either staying in hospital or having to go into hospital every day for blood tests which we had to do for 3 weeks! It was horrible. I’m thinking of maybe keeping the bits that I do have nice memories of and then donating the others.

Buy them, if you can afford them. Life’s too short to martyr yourself with something fixable which makes you actively unhappy.

Fwiw, i had lots of good clothes saved from dd1 and didn’t buy anything throughout pregnancy with dd2 because i was convinced something would go wrong, but since she turned 6 months old and i got over The Fear, i have delighted in buying her (ebay) clothes that suit her specifically because she is entirely different colouring from her sister and looks adorable in an entirely different way.

If it makes u feel sad then get rid, ds was in for 109 days so we had a long tuff journey to. I picked some of his first clothes and had it made into a birth weight teddy bear. I try and look at those bits and see how far he has come and try and look at the positive side of it, the strength and courage that our wee ones have shown x

Don't feel guilty at all. You did what you needed to do at the time to make sure your baby was clothed.

Pick a few pieces to keep as memories for DD1 and if there are any you like or basic vests that'll go underneath clothes pick them out too and send the rest to charity/someone local.

Personal experience, if you want to buy a whole new wardrobe keep the rest of the clothes for now.

My mum stored so much from when me and DB were babies and some clothes were in not a great shape. However they ended up being quite useful

I'm on DD3. Each time I buy a little something. I bought a coming home outfit, a set of 3 babygrows and 3 long sleeve tops and a pair of trousers and a snow suit (AKA astronaut suit). The other kids were born in the summer.

Donate the first lot to charity shop and buy the new ones you want. Have a fresh start for this baby good luck and congratulations

@grey12 thank you for your reply, out of interest why do you think I should keep all the old clothes as well as get new things? I did think about maybe doing this but then I would probably end up with too much of each size!

Thank you all for your very kind replies, I did think about posting this in AIBU but then thought better of it, might get some harsher responses on there!

No yanbu. Buy whatever you like and donate some of the older stuff to charity. Plus unless your dd is due around the time of your first dd then some of the clothes may not be appropriate for the weather anyway .

Mu dd was born at 37 weeks and was tiny , she lost weight and was back in hospital after a week. I kept one or two oufits from her tiny baby phase but donated the rest as looking at them reminded me of a really shitty and upsetting time in my life.

Buy new and have a fresh start! Donate the old ones to someone who needs them and then you’ve also done something good. It’s amazing how things can bring back memories (good and bad). Enjoy choosing lovely things and dispense with any guilt.

@Brobbles I meant keep them in the back of the closet. They can come in handy.

DD2 had bad reflux and it can get busy with washing so she did wear some kind of old looking clothes at times..... also GPs bought some gorgeous expensive clothes for DD1 that the trousers were SOOOO tight!!!! I kept stretching them all the time and still on top of that she had colic problems. She ended up using these really old looking trousers I used as a baby. at least I knew the elastic was hanging on ok but loose enough to not bother her.