Push through bottom...?!

[Dontjumptoconclusions]

Sorry for such a silly question but don't know who to ask.

Im 39 weeks with my first and i've heard a lot of midwives saying the phrase "push through your bottom" when giving birth, YouTube video advice etc.

What does this actually mean?

Am I supposed to be pushing out of my vagina? Like when having an orgasm? Or actually pushing through my anus like having a poo? Because the baby isn't coming out of my anus, so I'm feeling so confused!

Sorry for any tmi this may have caused.

@Justmuddlingalong
😁

@Justmuddlingalong love your post! Haha.

I don't care what anyone says, I WILL care. When I go to the toilet, I do so in private and don't want it to be a public affair!! I'm thinking of trying a glycerin suppository as soon as labour starts.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but am I unusual in never feeling the urge to push? First time I had an epidural so put it down to that (although it hard worn off by the pushing stage and was in massive pain so assume I shld still have felt pushing urge) but most recently I was only using gas and air. I never at any stage felt any urge to push despite being 10cms dilated and baby being more than ready to exit. The midwives put it down to the waters being intact until delivery, but now I’m wondering if there is something odd about me that I haven’t felt that supposedly natural urge??

I was induced with my first and I remember toddling off to the toilet at night in the hospital after lots of strong cramps, thinking I needed a poo. A nurse stopped me and asked to check me and I was 10cm dilated, so if she hadn't my first would have been born in the toilet😂
As it happens the move to the delivery suite sort of stalled it and I didn't get the same urge (I still think I would have been a better candidate for just quietly giving birth on my own). They kept saying 'push into your bottom', which I eventually realised was like doing a poo, then I made the connection with the visit to the toilet earlier.
I remember years ago asking my mum what childbirth was like and she said 'shitting a football' . It wasn't until I was actually doing it that I realised how true it was!

I cared very much about pooing, so I did it by myself in the bathroom even minutes before my babies were born, I took myself there and back and cleaned it up myself. I cared who saw and who knew so I sorted it out.

I don’t think pushing feels like having a poo. I know how to push down, I can do it now sitting here only I’ve nothing to push against so it doesn’t feel the same. Having said that no one told me to push or how to push and I never pushed consciously or really knew it was happening other than, the baby was coming.

I cared very much about pooing too. Pooing was never on my birth plan. But as the saying goes...shit happens.

I didn't have the urge to push with DS1 either, I didn't have pain relief and whilst it wasn't agony, I felt so "full" that I couldn't engage my muscles to push.
Took 40 mins and an episiotomy for him to come out.
Basically like trying to shit a brick which I think I told DH at the time.

With DS2 I had an epi and as soon as I hit 10cm my body was just cracked on itself. I could feel the urge to push, the same involuntary action like barfing I guess. He came out in 3 close contractions.

Think I shit myself both times, not that I cared. Although that being said, my OBGYN is currently my neighbor so it's a little odd that my neighbor has seen my in all my naked disgusting, undignified glory. Lucky bastard! 🤣 I don't feel too bad for him though, he drives a Bentley!

My midwife sent DH out to get a sandwich or some errand. When he was gone she told me pushing was like having a poo and that’s where to push from.

She said poo will come out and she’d be discreet and remove it. She said everyone poos when they give birth.

I know I did.

I did some rubbish pushing with DD1 until my midwife shouted at me.

DD2 was much easier.

You need to push like you're constipated. Totally in your bum, not in your vag.

When I was in labour with my second the midwife asked me if I was feeling a lot if pressure in my bottom. I wasn't. I always felt it in my vagina. It's like a terrible wave moving downwards. You have to sort of push through it so pushing like you're doing a poo works pretty well

I also pushed as if I was having a poo, yhe midwife wasn't in the room when I went into active labour. The poor healthcare assistant ran to get her when I said I was going to have to push, I literally couldn't stop it!
I asked my partner to tell me honestly, and I didn't actually have a poo during labour though.

It's a massive urge that you can't stop you literally push like you're shitting out a baby 😩😂

I was told to push like I needed a poo!

[quote MSG92]@Justmuddlingalong love your post! Haha.

I don't care what anyone says, I WILL care. When I go to the toilet, I do so in private and don't want it to be a public affair!! I'm thinking of trying a glycerin suppository as soon as labour starts.[/quote]
I had a bad stomach throughout labour (privately while I was still mobile) and didn't eat for 22 hours. Still pooed myself when forceps were in and was on desperate third pull to get baby out. Not nice but it doesn't haunt me. Not sure suppository will make much difference sorry.

When having my premature baby at 28weeks was 10cm waters hadn't gone and in a foreign country (🤦‍♀️not planned I may add), they kept asking if I had the urge to push which I didn't but got that fucked off with being asked thought oh fuck this and just pushed. Did the biggest smelliest shite Eva, all the poor nicu doctors lost their eye brows

My body didn't take over with my first two, no epidural, I had to be told to push and was told I was doing it wrong.

My second two it was just something that happened to me, my body was in control and pushed them out whether I liked it or not!

I've had 4, never felt the urge to push, even though the last two were at home, and I didn't need any pain relief. Didn't poo as it was in the days when you were routinely given an enema at the start of labour.

Like having a poo. And if you poo during the event well done you’re pushing well. I was absolutely mortified a little nugget can out but the midwife was delighted 😂

@NeonSparkle I didn't push at all. When my son was crowning the midwife told me not to push and he flew out. I was sobbing like a kid saying 'I didn't push, I promise I didn't' as if I had broken some important rule!

I had an epidural with my first and didn’t have a natural urge to push.

I also had no natural urge to push, but didn't have an epidural.

I was on the drip. It was turned down once I was fully dilated with the intention that my body would naturally take over. Instead my contractions died off, and the drip was turned back up. I could feel the contractions, but still no urge to push. The midwives instructed me to push like I was doing a giant poo whenever I felt a contraction. As many pushes as I could fit into one contraction.

OT: The muscles you use to push out a baby are very similar to those you use to poop. It's the closest comparison to the actual... well... movement you'll be doing when you come to actually pushing. And since it's a very familiar motion that near enough 100% of women regularly perform, it's easy to do, even in the throes of labour

It isn't true that every woman is incontinent in labour nor that you won't care at the time OP. There are lots of other threads on here where mums say they did care and/or it didn't happen!

If it makes you feel better I didn't actually poo in the pushing bit. The first hour of contractions my stomach felt like horrendous food poisoning, tmi but I'm pretty sure my body just cleaned itself out, I was on the toilet though so it wasn't like being stripped of dignity

Whilst it is all new to you as a first time mother, nothing you do, or say will be new to your midwife.
Try not to overthink or worry too much midwives are amazing people and they will guide you through everything.
I wish you best of luck and when you hold that baby for the first time nothing you have gone through to deliver it will matter.

@jobsharenightmare well said. It's very frustrating when people say no one cares, you won't care or notice. I bloody well will haha. I mean if it happens it happens, but in an ideal world it won't!

Hmmmm ..... agree with the others that push through your bum is the advice given. Not sure it always works best that way. Although I had an urge to push it wasn't like a poo urge but in attempting to follow midwives' instructions I ended up with horrible piles that needed surgery.
In hindsight I wish I'd gone with my body rather than the midwife.