7.5 weeks pregnant and heartbroken

[Scarlettbondi]

Hey everyone I’m new here. I’m currently sitting in a mental health ward at the hospital because I’ve had a breakdown. I feel totally lost and alone.

My man and I have been together 1.5 years. It’s been an up and down relationship. He’s struggled with drinking but 4 months ago I thought that we crossed that hurdle and things were better than ever with us. We fell pregnant and I am currently 7+4. We found out 4 weeks ago and were both over the moon. Since finding out my emotions have gone crazy and that’s lead to him drinking again. He didn’t come home last Friday night and turned his phone off. I got upset on Saturday so he left again. I then finally saw him Sunday and he was wasted and left again. I then came to the hospital. He was meant to come and get me today and have a talk about everything but he got wasted again and didn’t come. I’ve asked him to move his stuff. I can’t do it anymore. I’m completley alone. Every night he is drunk and I am last to everything. I have been crying out to him trying to tell him how much I’m struggling but he just tells me I’m emotional and to pull my head in and get over it. I can’t do it anymore. He is making me loose family and friends because I wouldn’t leave. I’ve made the decision to leave today, and I’m so heartbroken and upset they are keeping me at the hospital. To think that he won’t be there for the ultrasounds, birthing appointments, baby kicks, labour... to think I’ll be alone is absolutely heartbreaking for me. I grew up as a single mum and I never wanted to do it alone. I love him so much but he’s literally breaking me. Please tell me this will get easier

Although I haven’t been in your shoes pregnant I have been with a bad partner, a very bad one. You will be better alone and your child will be surrounded by only love, not fear or disappointment. He/she will grow up knowing he/she can count on you. That’s all that matters. Yes it’s heartbreaking you won’t be sharing this joy but neither will you be counting on someone who permanently lets you down. It’s not your emotions that made him drink again it’s the fact he’s an alcoholic. Not your fault and you can’t fix it. But you can hug and trust yourself! You’ve made a good choice, be proud, try to get some sleep and know that your baby will love you.
You’re so deserving of love, respect and support

Hey, you just did something so strong that will make the rest of your pregnancy and life so much better. It's hard now but you'll look back and be proud of yourself that you made the decision instead of staying stuck.

Because honestly if you stayed you know you would be even more unhappy. It will get easier from here - if you stayed it would have gotten harder.

Can you get support from friends and family - get one of them to come to the scans and appointments with you? I know it's not easy - I had my first alone for all intents and purposes - but it's worth it in the end.

Good luck xxx

I can absolutely promise that bit by bit, day by day, this will get easier. I know you didn't want to do this alone but that doesn't mean you can't. Keep telling yourself every day that there is nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it - I promise it's true. Make it your goal to get through just one hour at a time to start with. Do you have friends or family who can support you once you leave hospital?

Try to focus on the little baby growing inside you. You can get through this for your child and can come out of the other side. This first bit is hard, really hard, whilst your head adjusts to life without your ex. The temptation to go back to him as a way to temporarily halt the pain will be overwhelming at times but remember that doing so would only be masking the underlying long term pain that you will endure by staying with him. I know you say you've lost friends and family but I bet they would be so pleased to hear from you that you have made the decision not to go back and would want to be there for you. Give them a try. Even if they don't or can't, focus your thoughts on your baby who will be better off not living with an alcoholic who can't support you both when the going gets tough. Seek the support of your midwife as well.

You will be ok. One step at time.

It sounds to me like you and your child will be better without him.
Go and be with your family.