Feels like a living nightmare - scary news at 20 week scan after 3 previous "perfect" scans

[3rdtimemomma]

Hi everyone

Just looking for a place to vent and more so if anyone has any advice or has been through the same thing.

So this is my First baby with my partner but my 3rd baby, I am 31 years old.

Background: spotting at 6 weeks referred to EPU and all was fine. Baby was there and a little heartbeat but there was an area of bleed which wasn't near baby and I had with a previous pregnancy and it usually clears up on its own.

Private scan at 8 weeks and 3 days - all appearing fine - heartbeat seen, baby growing perfect to dates and the bleed was not seen on this scan.

Due to my partner not being able to come to my 12 week Nhs scan we had a 12 week scan at 12 weeks private - all appearing normal, low NT , baby looking fine and again perfect for dates.

My nhs "12 week scan" was at 13 weeks and 1 day , again absolutely nothing noted, my nt was 2.3 and results came back in the low risk.
At this point had no reason to be concerned.

We went for a private scan at 16 weeks and 3 days, again all appearing perfect and normal. And we found out we were having a little girl.

Fast forward to yesterday I had my anomaly scan (19 +6) and I feel like my whole world has fallen apart.

I was alone due to my partner not being allowed due to covid so I think i was on a downer anyway and dreading any sort of news.

So everything was completely fine and normal and all done in great detail as expected at 20 weeks scans. All bar 2 things.

1 - there was a brightness to the baby's bowel which I know can mean a number of things

2- baby's head had a "lemon sign" although this is slight as Iv looked at "lemon sign" skulls and they seem extremely mis shapen.

The sonographer was lovely and just said he has to do it just incase, they have seen a lot worse and it is probably nothing but it's his job to note anything that looks slightly out the norm. Of course I appreciate everything he says.

So straight away I was in pieces and we have now been referred to fetal medicine and have the scan on Tuesday as they work fairly quickly.

I am absolutely petrified!!! My head is all over the place and so many things are going through my head. I just want our little girl to be ok. Trying to stay "normal" and hold myself together for my other 2 children at home but inside I am absolutely in pieces and the days are feeling super slow waiting for Tuesday to come.

Does anyone have any advice or positive stories about any of the above I'd really appreciate hearing anything or even the not so positive, I'm trying to be realistic about the situation.

Thankyou xx

Have you had your appointment @3rdtimemomma

Hoping all is ok for your baby

@Cleverpolly3
No the appointment with fetal medicine is tomorrow at 12.20

The above is the response from a consultant who scanned me at 16 weeks. I wanted a second opinion after he re looked at my images.

Xxx

So sorry @3rdtimemomma
Well I will continue to keep my fingers crossed for you and your baby

@Cleverpolly3 Thankyou! ❤️

I'll update post tomorrow x

This is why I don't like scans or want them. It's an unhelpful opportunity for them to find huge-maybe-we-think-might-be-not-really-problems-in-the-end.

I had scare at 20 week scan too, OP. Followed by 8 extra scans with my DC1, when I was also 31yo.

DC1 is a muscle-bound 6' tall Army guy now. He had No actual problems. Currently plotting how to buy his own house.

One day at a time. x

Good luck for tomorrow

I know it's hard but please try to relax.

After 5 m m/c and 1 EP, and after one tube removed and 90% scarring in the other I was told I would not conceive and carry a baby to term. I did -more than once.

With DC1 I was scanned x2 a week from 6 weeks -and daily in the last few weeks. I was told they had this syndrome and then another one -all the way through. They didn't. Very bright and on track for oxbridge.

@3rdtimemomma I’m really sorry to hear you are going through this.

ARC - the antenatal results and choices charity are a really good resource. Their helpline will talk through the tests with you and all the options and offer nonjudgmental support for any option you want to pursue. They were great when we went through this in our family.

@lljkk I know it's completely thrown a me and I guess naturally we always think worst case scenario ( or the worry warts like myself who overthink things anyway)

It's one of those there may or may not be and of course I hear or most people were hear MAY be not MAY NOT be

Thanks for the positive story x

@Somersetlevel what an amazing outcome! It's these positive stories that are really keeping me going, I know we have to have an element of realism and kind of in the back of the head have the possibilities but all of your experiences are really helping me to keep the positive at the front of any bad thoughts x

@Onceuponatimethen Thankyou so much for that I'll look into it, I'm clueless with a lot of the tests etc just due to never having to have previously thought about it x

Fingers crossed for good news OP.

It was exposed recently that many private scan companies are overlooking anomalies on Scans and not flagging risk to patients; which I think is absolutely shocking and I firmly believe they should be banned.

@Dyrne I think some are like this but not all and I think it depends on the place and the person scanning.
The man who did mine is a consultant - same level of who I will see tomorrow and I was told that they have a legal obligation to report anything , I guess people who are willing to can actually take that further....

But yes I read that too and it is shocking. And such a cruel thing.

I think that's why I'm trying to just stay positive and be neutral until we know what they think tomrorow xxx

Think of you tomorrow and hoping for good news.

Ah you’re at BWH as well. Cannot rate fmu there highly enough, they are wonderful doctors/midwives/ahps and you are honestly in the best hands

@JanetBalloonist yes Iv had such positive experiences with all of my pregnancies, not had any experience with the fetal medicine department before but I have my full trust in them.

X

It's ok to be worried. I found the pregnancy really hard when we didn't know what was going to happen. Good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

Good luck for tomorrow OP.

A different situation but I was referred to fetal medicine when a 20-week scan found fluid-filled sacs in DS bowel. Waited a horrible few days and on Xmas eve was rescanned and no trace found of abnormalities. We still don't know what it was. He is 7 now.

All the best to you.

Thankyou all for all of these stores!

Really is helping lift my spirits after feeling very "poor me" this weekend and completely feeling like my world is falling apart.

Will update tomorrow. Xxxxxx

Hi all - quick update, so we had our scan today with 2 specialists and to our absolute relief, she is perfect!

Her head was totally normal and there was NO echogenic bowel!

I feel like Iv had the worst day of my life and the best day in the space of 4 days.

Thankyou all for responses on this thread, it's really got me through the last 4 days xxxx

That’s amazing - fantastic news!

Wonderful news!

Congratulations, great news .

So pleased for you that’s wonderful news