Doulas/ Midwifes / helpful people- please check this letter for me please?

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

have to send a letter (advice of AIM's) to antenatal clinic refusing appointment with Obstetrician (as par previous refused a homebirth thread)- inability to attend is actually genuine for reasons given in letter!

Would appreciate feedback as needs posting today, not long until appointment.

Thank you!

Dear Sirs, (no name in letter)

Thank you for your letter received today, regarding an appointment on October 29th with the Obstetrician at the Ante natal Clinic.

I am afraid I am unable to attend, as that falls over our half term and I will not have childcare available.

I am grateful for the advice given to me by your midwife at the clinic, but feel that at this stage I wish to proceed with midwife led care and aim for a home birth. Whilst I understand the worry concerned with my first birth, I have experienced 2 subsequent good labours, and indeed after my last labour the discharging community midwife remarked that it would have been ideal for a home delivery, as I had initially wanted but cancelled (due to electricity cuts in my village).

I also understand the concern raised with the birth weight of Ds1, however I feel that the subsequent birth weight progression has been good- DS1 was 5lb 5oz., DS2 6lb 11.5 oz and DS3 7lb 4oz. As such, unless there are concerns raised later in the pregnancy, I see no reason to expect a dangerously small baby.

As I explained to the antenatal midwife, my home circumstances are such that a home birth would be by far the best option for my family. Two of my children have special needs (one Autistic Spectrum Disorder, one undiagnosed), and as such my childcare options are limited to family members who live in Somerset. The the best chance of my Husband being present at the birth as we both wish is if I labour at home, I have listened to your Midwife and arranged for someone (a Doula) to accompany me into hospital if a transfer should be medically necessary, however I would much prefer to avoid this scenario.

Naturally, if at any point I have reason to suspect the health of my baby or myself are likely to be compromised by a home delivery, I will of course transfer to consultant led care, and I will follow the advice of my community midwife should this become a possibility.

I would like to thank you for your time.

Hi Peachy - I'm no expert but I think your letter is excellent. It acknowledges their concerns but gives your reasoning why you dispute that and I think it comes across as very thoughtful and like you have properly considered their concerns rather than just saying no without any reasons. It also sounds like you have a good plan for if a transfer to hospital becomes necessary, and for if circumstances change later in your pregnancy. Good luck!

Sounds fine to me. Good luck with getting what you want. (just a mum, btw)

Hi Peachy

You may also want to add that you do not wish to reschedule the appointment for another time, . You may also want to reiterate what was said to you by the midwife at the clinic, as communication between health care professionals can sometimes be poor.

Re:"I have listened to your Midwife and arranged for someone (a Doula) to accompany me into hospital if a transfer should be medically necessary" Surely you will be having a midwife attend to you for your homebirth who would also come into the hospital or at least transfer with you should the need arise?

Hope that is helpful.

My thoughts...

Holistically my family circumstances are such etc....

If at any point....................should this become a necessity.

Hope that makes sense, you do not need to explain or justify.

thanks all - the odula thing is because I haev specifically said i dint want to go into hospital with just aMW and no companion- (also so she can be here for me if its anight or evening birth and dh is delayed- night worker- or has to go to the boys).

Am slight;y wary about listing what MW said to me- 'you're not allowed', 'only a consultantc an deliver your baby' and 'you're too fat' (had a BMI of 26 at 15 weeks- not exactly morbidly obese)- my doula also does feedback work for the Hospital so she's taking those things to them anonymously, dont want to link myself iyswim.

All comments noted, thank you

Sound like a good letter, can I just suggest not using the 'DS' abbreviations as these are a mumsnet thing and probably wont be understood without explanation. (its always the first thing everyone asks when I show them mumsnet - 'whats DS and DP etc???'

There is no reason whatsoever to have to go to hospital to deliver just because your first baby was a little small, but I cant really see why you wouldnt go to the hosp for the odd visit just to keep channels open in case of transfer, which can be for any sort of reason, have bloods, scan etc. You might find the consultant is quite supportive of homebirth - sound more like its the midwife who is a bit negative and is talking crap. Id say its more important not to have that particular m/w anywhere near you in labour, you dont need any sort of negativity around you at the birth!

Personally, if you are really wanting to have nothing to do with the hospital, I would just have phoned the ANC sister in charge and told her I was having a hb, rather than bothered with a letter.

Sorry if Im being a bit obtuse or missing the point though
and good luck with the hb

PMSL- ds1 etc not in letter just on MN

I understand your point- hospital visits are ahrd from me as they invovle towinga long ds3, and also if youa re under consultant care here then they won't go for a homebirth- its community midwife care for a non-specialist unit delivery.

All the best Peachy!