Stressing after 12 week scan

[RBaims]

Hi all!
I may be crazy here but has anyone else just been worried something is going to go wrong after the 12 week scan?

I'm currently 13+3 and all was fine at 12 weeks (and at 6 and 8 weeks) I have had a history of recurrent miscarriages, all before 12 weeks. I think the last one being a blighted ovum and causing no miscarriage symptoms, has just made me worry that something could go wrong and my body just not catch up.

I know some book a scan at 16 weeks, and I think I'll do that, but also tempted to go for one next week before we announce to family... Or am I just being too anxious?

I think at this point you're tipping into overly anxious, tbh. The risk of miscarriage or something going wrong is very low, but it will never be zero so you will always be able to find reason for anxiety if you try. It's probably best not to feed it with more unnecessary scans at this stage.

@Respectabitch I think you're right. It's tough not to overthink especially with so many gone wrong. But yeah... Maybe time to just chill tf out

So difficult to relax and enjoy a pregnancy when you have had previous miscarriages. So sorry for your losses.

I personally wouldn't book another scan. Because you will probably only feel okay for a day, and then the worry will set in again. So it is not a healthy habit to give in to.

This link really helped me (I had anxiety even without previous losses so I cannot imagine how it is for you)...

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

It's so much better once you feel movement so hopefully that time comes quickly for you.

@MsChatterbox oh wow, thank you. To even see in the beginning it's 35% to now nearly 1%. Yes, I imagine once I can feel baby that will be a big help.
Definitely won't book a scan, and just try to relax and enjoy it all

Totally agree with @MsChatterbox. I felt exactly the same after a blighted ovum followed shortly after by another early loss at 8 weeks. We did book a 16 private scan but that was to find out sex. I found that a good length of time in between this one and my NHS 20 week scan. By that time the movement was starting and it quickly quickly ramped up so that's reassuring in itself. Although I have to be honest if you're like me you'll still get anxious and over analyse every kick or lack of kick. It's so hard to just relax and enjoy being pregnant! I feel I'm just there now, with my lovely bump and lots of movement at 28 weeks 🥰🥰best of luck @RBaims

I completely understand where you are coming from. This is my 6th pregnancy following 5 miscarriages before 12 weeks. I'm not 13+5 and have booked a scan for 16 weeks. Any loss of symptoms sends my anxiety into over drive but I'm really trying to relax. I've told my mum and sister and very close friend but will avoid a big announcement until 20 weeks. I don't really have any advice but just wanted to say I understand how you feel and you aren't alone!

I think to be nervous after a miscarriage is normal. I had two previous miscarriages and through out pregnancy worried, but it did get easier the further along I got. I took scans given by the but didn't get any private ones as each scan was anxious time and I found I was able to deal with the inbetween times better. I am now sitting here with my 2 week old baby lying on my chest, she's my wee miracle.

@HungryHippo20 I think it's the blighted ovum that's thrown me as all previous had very obvious signs the Pregnancy was over. Just the fact my body held on. Obviously this is different, we saw a very wriggly baby last week! ☺️ The movements will help, I just need to keep busy as well. With Covid and things just being so isolated still kind of fuels your brain in to over thinking the smallest things.
Thank you and all the best for the rest of your pregnancy ❣️

@37TTCLeeds thank you and so sorry for your losses! The dr's only took me seriously after my last one (8th) was shocked they never checked my hormones. But we think we've finally found the answer... Once baby arrives we will know for sure. Only his brother knows as they work together and as we're high risk due to history lots more appointments he couldn't lie about.
We're telling parents Christmas Eve from the garden paths haha! Hopefully some good news after such a crap year. If you ever need to talk, do message xx

@Glendaruel I completely relate to the in-between scans. It's amazing seeing the progress but that joy is short lived. And like a previous poster said I'm just pushing myself more into anxiety, and we don't want that! I may have a 16 week scan as that seems more reasonable, but will judge nearer the time.
So lovely that you have your little one, thank you for sharing. Xxx

OP, I understand how you're feeling. I had 3MCs, two were MMCs, one blighted ovum MMC. Hideous experience altogether. I am pregnant now too, only 6 weeks and going for an early scan next week which I'm anxious about. I know I will feel the same as you after the 12 week scan if I get there as one of my MMCs was at 13 weeks. I'd say if it's playing on your mind, just book a private scan in a couple of weeks' time, it's just not worth the stress with our sort of history. Good luck xxx

@MsChatterbox Thank you for that link, I knew the risk decreased after 12 weeks but not by how much so that was really helpful and reassuring

I'd say do what you need to do to manage your anxiety - that's all you can do. There isn't a magic button to switch it off unfortunately! I had 2 losses close together this year after TTC for 3 years. The second one was after seeing a healthy baby at a scan at 8 weeks so a bit different but I kind of know how you're feeling about not trusting your body. My mental health took a real turn for the worse after the second loss and I hadn't dealt with the anxiety from TTC as I was ageing or the grief of the losses when I got PG for the third time. I haven't had extra scans but I have had extra midwife appts. From about 16 weeks they can usually hear baby's HB on a doppler. That's as good as a scan for my anxiety. The reassurance doesn't last long for me so you could see it as a waste of time but the one time I didn't go I ended up in A&E having had a full on panic attack convinced I was going into early labour. Now I know when the anxiety is ramping up I need to speak to someone before it escalates to that level. As another poster said it is easier now I can feel movement (although that has its own set of worries!) I'm not saying you should or shouldn't get a scan - I would suggest taking it a day or a week or a month at a time and do what is right for you. That might change over time as well. You definitely aren't crazy!

[quote TiredThursday]@MsChatterbox Thank you for that link, I knew the risk decreased after 12 weeks but not by how much so that was really helpful and reassuring[/quote]
You're welcome ☺️. I checked it every week nearly at the beginning!

Please don't mislead people with this calculator. I spoke to several consultants about it and it is NOT accurate and it does not work for women with history of recurrent miscarriage at all. Consultants will be able to advise on risk based on individual history in such cases.

I also have this, had a mc with my first pregnancy at 6 weeks, then went on to have my son fine but didn't seem to worry then, he's 13 now, when my son was 4 I lost another baby at 8+1, now 9 years later im 14+1, but from the start I've been terrified something is going to happen, I had a nhs scan at 8+6 which all my healthy but I worried daily and on every loo trip, when I wiped, so booked in for a private at 12 weeks which thankfully show a very active baby, but I still can't get excited and still worry daily, I've booked in for a 16 gender scan on the 3rd of jan to find out the sex, but its more so to make sure everything is okay, I'm hoping so, every little ache and pain, or thinking is my stomach bump right? Or has something happened! But I try my best to get on with daily life but it is hard, I know where your coming from, congratulations too

@PurplePansy05 congratulations and the best of luck for your scan. It's so nerve-wracking the waits between scans! The 6 and 8 week scans were fine wait wise and I had bleeding between them, I just couldn't look at the screens and waited for the consultant to tell me all was fine! Absolutely everything crossed for you all goes well ❤️

@Mimba1 yes, with not trusting our body, though I keep telling myself I've expected the worst and all has been fine so just relax, that's lasts all of a few hours. How are you feeling now you can feel baby? I bet that brings a different worry when baby doesn't feel as active!

If you are like me this anxiety will continue throughout the whole of pregnancy, early babyhood and then can go on forever! There is always something to be worried about but doesn't help if gets too far.

@Fairywings123 congratulations! And so sorry for your losses.
Yes every twinge makes you think oh god for a bit, but so long as they don't get painful I'm happy to feel them, especially when worrying as it's gives a sign things are growing.
Good luck with your 16 week scan, not too long to wait now 🙌🏼 I should take my own advice, but relax and enjoy Christmas and before you know it you'll see your little one ❤️

@BabyLlamaZen yes, I imagine when I tell my mum friends they'll say exactly that ☺️

@RBaims thank you, I just hope every thing is still okay, ill let you know, thank you, you too try enjoy Christmas, when are you due? Also are you booking a 16 scan? Just gives ýou hope when you see your baby grow at every scan, I'm also so sorry for your losses but a massive congratulations on this pregnancy, keep me updated xx

@Fairywings123 I am sure it will be 🤞🏻 yes, please let me know how everything goes.

I think I may book it at 16 weeks, 12-20 week wait seems like forever!
I'm due June 21st, was 24th but baby grew ahead from 6 and 8 week scans which was a promising sign.
When are you due? Xx

I know hence me booking the 16 week scan as 20 week seemed like forever too!

How exciting! Summer babies, let me know if you book and how you go x

I'm due 16th of June, I'd love for it to be here now, but scared too incase xx

Hello, I don’t have any history of miscarriage or anxiety, but I booked a 16 week scan for reassurance.

I found the wait from 12-20 weeks was really long and I just didn’t “feel” very pregnant... couldn’t imagine there was a baby in there.

I’m really glad I went because I found out my placenta is at the front, which can mean you don’t feel the baby move as much at first because the kicks are cushioned.

If I didn’t know that I would have been really worried when I still hadn’t felt any movements before my 20 week scan.

All the best x