Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

So scared of doing it alone.

6 replies

Nia18 · 16/12/2020 12:30

Apologies in advance for the long post..

I'm 18 weeks with my 3rd baby.
I have to have a C-section under general anaesthetic because of my disability.

My last section was the most brutal and dehumanising experience I've ever had. I had the section at 30 weeks due to preeclampsia, my baby went straight to NICU and I didnt meet her for 3 days.

I was in hospital for 6 weeks altogether, I went home 2 days in between and because I am wheelchair dependant I didnt manage to have a shower while in hospital due to the lack of accessible showers and midwives being too busy.
I discharged myself 3 days post partum because of this.

Although I have a while to go yet there's a high chance I'll have another preterm birth and be unwell again, so I may not have as long as is usually expected.

I just can't do this without the support of my partner.

Because I wont go into labour he won't be with me before my section. He's not allowed in because I'll be under general anaesthetic and for the 30 mins he'll be allowed to see me afterwards I'll be coming round from the anaesthetic and probably wont even remember he was there.

If I have another long stay in hospital I'll be away from my family, including my other children. For possibly weeks on end.

I was traumatised by my last birth and the NICU experience. I just don't know how I'm going to do this if things are still the same.

I need so much help afterwards and I know all too well that as amazing as midwives and nurses are, they dont have the time to help me.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, but I cant talk to my family about it because they already make their disapproval of this pregnancy very clear.

Anyone who's had a baby with a lot of restrictions going on have any tips on how to get through it?

OP posts:
DownRightAmazing · 16/12/2020 12:33

I don't have experience of advise (but I offer sympathy) however I wanted to link to this news today that maternity hospitals have been directed to allow women to have a support partner 'at all times' (I don't think it means literally all times, they will still have visiting hours) www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-55330549

Nia18 · 16/12/2020 12:45

@DownRightAmazing thanks for replying.

I think this is only for hospitals in England. Im in Wales, but if England changes their rules them hopefully Wales will follow behind them if we get our numbers down.
Im hoping the time I have left will give things time to change.

OP posts:
Nia18 · 16/12/2020 12:46

@DownRightAmazing we also aren't allowed visitors at all in Welsh hospitals at the moment. So I literally wouldn't see my partner or children until I left the hospital.
Again, really hoping for a change soon.

OP posts:
DownRightAmazing · 16/12/2020 12:53

Oh I'm sorry Nia, that wasn't helpful of me then.

My sister has just given birth (in England) and her partner wasn't allowed at any scans or appointments but he was allowed on the ward 9-9 everyday and overnight when she was in established labour so I am a bit shocked it is so different in Wales! Fingers crossed for you.

Nia18 · 16/12/2020 12:59

@DownRightAmazing oh, no, thank you for replying anyway.
To be honest I'd rather be alone for the scans (partners are allowed in for dating and anomaly scan currently) than be alone for the birth and afterwards.

Fingers crossed for a review of the rules.

OP posts:
boymum88 · 16/12/2020 13:53

I'm really sorry no one should have to be alone and unsupported. Have you spoken to ur midwife or consultant ? I would hope they would try and make a birth plan / plan of action for you, surely if you have a disability they have to take that into account and not leave you high and dry, they have a duty of care towards you x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread