I'm not really sure what I am asking for with this post, maybe just somewhere to express how I am feeling or seek advice from anyone who has had a similar experience.
I am nearing the end of my pregnancy and unfortunately the baby's father is quite ill at the moment. I will avoid details, but medication is having some nasty side effects and he will require invasive treatment in the coming year.
I've found in recent weeks that he is putting a lot of pressure on himself to "be there" for me, even though at the moment doing every day things can be a real struggle. And when he does struggle, he feels really rotten and beats himself up about it for a good while afterwards, saying he isn't doing enough for me and the baby.
I obviously try and reassure him all the time, and I know we can get through this. I feel like we will be lucky enough to have a fair bit of support around us when the baby arrives, it is just difficult sometimes when your partner doesn't think he is doing enough. I try to reassure him that he is providing support to me in ways he doesn't even realise, like just being there to hold my hand or listening to my worries. It isn't all about putting up the cot or carrying the car seat.
In a way I think society is a little bit to blame for the emotions here - things like our antenatal classes talk about a huge list of all the things the partner should be doing to support their pregnant other half... but what if doing so is actually quite difficult for various reasons?
I know many people go through pregnancy on their own so none of the above is a complaint, I am very lucky to have a loving partner. My OH also wasn't ill when we first got pregnant.