9 wks...On my way to an early scan- after some bleeding...

[glowingtwig]

...does anyone have any positive stories?

I'm nearly 9 weeks and have already had 2 mc... one at 5 weeks before my 14 month-old dc and another in August at 6 weeks.

I really thought this one might be ok. TMI it's brownish mucousy blood when I wipe.

I'm in a panic being nearly 40.

glowingtwig i did indeed and he is now 6. My friend was 41 and my SIL 42 when they had there last too

glowingtwig I felt the same - it's horrible. But in some ways it was also comforting to know the baby was still in there, as I wasn't ready to let go immediately after the scan.

If you end up needing surgical management, I think they can do some testing. You could write down so you remember to ask on Friday.

I know it's easier said than done, but I hope you manage some rest/sleep. It's an exhausting time, especially when you already have a DC to look after.

[quote glowingtwig]@Barmyfarmy those are lovely words, thank you. The ache is real! We started trying when DD was 10 months because I really wanted to fall pregnant before 40. We seem to get pregnant easily; second go with the August mc and third try after that for this one... they just seem to fail at about the 5/6 week-ish mark - the time a heartbeat should be starting.

DD took 6 months after mc number 1 so I'm hoping we can try again quite soon and maybe the next one will be ok. It's the mental strain though... the next one will be so tough. All at a time I should be enjoying and soaking up my lovely little girl.

We went private for this scan because the EPU were so rubbish with the last mc- they weren't interested at all. Hopefully they will be helpful on Friday. [/quote]
My MCs were similar, I get pregnant very easily but both happened around 5-6 weeks. We had private early scans and thought we'd got dates wrong as there was still no heartbeat but went back 2 weeks later and found no growth or heart beat. It really knocks you down, DH and I felt numb for so long and our DS1 was only 8 months. We kept trying and now have 4 boys, the middle two are twins which was quite a suprise! The early bleeding for all of them was horrific though, I hated being pregnant with my last 3 because I was so scared something would happen.

The mental strain is exhausting, especially when TTC after an MC. Your little one can support you through this, I'm assuming she's too little to understand but having a little bug to cuddle is always a comfort. I hope your DH is coping okay too, at the time of our MCs I was so numb I couldn't even comprehend DH's suffering and grief but we managed to get through it and talk about it much more openly and it's easier now.

Who would've thunk that such a tiny little being would cause so much pain and heartache?

Fingers crossed for Friday, you might've just got a bad batch of staff last time, hopefully this lot will bring you tea and a giant cupcake.

Try to get some rest this evening, I know nights are sometimes the worst, and waking up brings the pain again but it'll settle soon.

Well I woke up feeling pretty bad, but read some nice stories with DD before nursery. I'm going to have a day of not doing much and wait to see what happens. Not had any more bleeding so I'm worried I'll end up going down the surgical management route.

@marplemead I feel like that, not quite ready for it to leave me. It really is hard with a little one to look after but I have today with her at nursery and by Thursday I'll need to just get on with things as she will be at home. So allowing myself this one day to be sad then I'll try to pick myself up.

@Barmyfarmy ah wow, this is lovely to hear... I need good news stories. And twins as well! I know it's going to be a massive strain to keep trying but we will. The thought of not being able to give our lovely little girl a sibling makes my heart break. She's only just 14 months so hopefully we might still have time? I can't comprehend that we could conceive her and carry a healthy pregnancy such a short time ago and not be able to do it again.

DH is so sad and disappointed but we had a long chat last night. I go a bit mad when TTC because I know my cycle so well and can feel ovulation... it ends up being all quite regimented. Because of being 39 I feel agonised at the thought of losing a chance at a good egg so don't want to waste a single month. Does mean we fall pregnant quite easily but perhaps not with good eggs this last few times.

Thank you again for the replies, they are really helping me at the moment x

The twins were a complete shock but DH had neglected to tell me they run in the family and we were the generation to have them! I was told at a young age I'd likely be unable to have children due to a health condition so the chances were slim but it worked out eventually.

Aw your little one will be lucky to have such loving parents and even if she isn't graced with a sibling I'm sure she'll have a wonderful childhood and she'll have family and friends who'll take a sibling's place. There's still hope though, many people have children will into their 40s and even 50s. You've got plenty of time left and even if you have an age gap between children they won't love each other any less. My brother is 7 years older than me, my DH has 5 years between all 3 siblings and they've always been close.

TTC is SO stressful, our last DS took a little longer to conceive and we practically had a timetable when it was 'egg time'! The only thing I would say is lots of people have success as soon as they stop trying and relax the timetable a bit. Obviously this isn't a sure fire way of keeping a pregnancy but it might be worth trying to keep it calmer when you're ready to try again? Especially as after MCs pregnancy becomes quite stressful, it may benefit you to seek support from the hospital to help you deal with it better? I sought counselling when I was expecting the twins because I was so afraid of losing them I was so anxious, barely sleeping and afraid to even go outside in case something happened. It helped so much and even doing hypnobirthing breathing exercises helped me calm down. I'd have tried anything though, even if it meant wearing a snorkel to calm my breathing!